“It ain’t that funny,” Ranma said as she watched her fiancée literally rolling on the floor laughing, clutching her sides, almost as if she was in pain. After about thirty seconds of this, Akane finally managed to get to her knees and inhale… only to burst out laughing again. Ranma was rapidly growing impatient with Akane’s jackal impression, so when the laughter died down again, she asked, “Are ya finished?”
“I—heehee—think so,” Akane replied. “Oh, that was a good one, you as a magical girl; as if your mother would ever want you to do that. But seriously, what’s she doing here?”
“She wants me ta be a magical girl,” Ranma repeated.
This garnered a brief chuckle. “Yeah, I know. I got the joke. Now, what’s the deal?”
“She wants me ta be a magical girl.”
Akane was beginning to get annoyed. “Okay, enough joking, Ranma. What’s going on here?”
“My mother wants me ta follow in her footsteps an’ become a magical girl,” Ranma said as calmly as she could.
It was then that realization dawned on Akane’s face. “Oh, my goodness; you really are serious.”
“No, she’s serious,” the redhead stated with another gesture towards her mother. “I’m leavin’.”
“Why don’t you just sit down and let me explain things a bit?” Nodoka offered. “I think you at least owe it to yourself to know exactly what it is that you’re rejecting.”
“Oh, fine,” Ranma said with disinterest as she sat down across from her mother. Not wanting to seem intrusive, Akane moved over next to her father, who had yet to say a thing since his daughter’s arrival.
“As I was saying earlier, for generations, the women of the Saotome family have been entrusted with the sacred duty to battle evil and assorted wrongdoing as the Taiyohime, a legendary line of heroines granted supernatural powers to be used for righteousness.”
“Right, ya want me ta be a magical girl because you used ta be one. I got that.”
“Ranma, please. This tradition has been passed on from eldest daughter to eldest daughter for nearly 30 generations.”
“Huh. Well, that’s a problem, there, seein’ as you don’t have no daughters. Well, that does just about does it for the Takiyoki. Speakin’ of which, anybody know what’s for dinner?”
“Ranma!” Nodoka said sternly. “It’s Taiyohime, and I wish you’d take this a bit more seriously.”
The redhead sighed. “Fine… I see where this is goin’. Thanks ta the curse, I’m now qualified ta be the next Sun Princess, right?”
“Correct.”
“So why can’t you an’ Pops have more kids? I’m sure eventually one’ll be a girl.”
“That’s… not as simple as you make it to be, Ranma.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you were born, there were… complications,” Nodoka said, becoming clearly uncomfortable.
“Mom, yer not makin’ much sense.”
“Your mother can’t have another baby,” Genma explained bluntly.
“Oh… that… sucks,” Ranma said, feeling like an idiot as he did so. Even though her insight on the female mind was tenuous at best, she was still fairly certain that not being able to have kids (particularly when you wanted them) was, well, a bummer, to say the least.
“I’m guessin’ adoption wouldn’t work for this Taiyohime thing?”
“Sadly, no. She must be my daughter by birth.”
“Huh,” Ranma grunted softly. Now it was starting to look like she really was the only one who could do this—not good, in her opinion, because it meant that Nodoka now had a powerful emotional argument in her favor. Ranma hated those, mostly because she was such a sucker for them. She tried changing the subject a bit: “So… what would ya have done if I hadn’t been cursed at Jusenkyo?”
At this, Nodoka’s uneasiness lost much of its underlying sadness as it converted to nervousness. “Ah, yes… about that… I suppose I have a little confession to make.”
“Confession?” Ranma did not like the way this conversation was headed.
“Yes… I was the one who told your father about Jusenkyo in the first place.”
“What?!”
“I told him about the legendary training grounds in a phone call, and he agreed to take you there, no questions asked.”
“But how could ya have possibly known I was gonna get cursed?”
“Ah… well… you see… I have another confession to make.”
“Another confession?”
“Yes, you see, the Taiyohime have had a working relationship with the Amazons ever since one of your ancestors rescued a young girl named Ku Lon about 300 years ago.”
“Cologne?! Yer tellin’ me you knew Cologne?!”
“Yes, and when I told her of my problem, she agreed to help me out in any way she could—so you see, one way or another, you were coming home with that curse.”
“I don’t believe this! Ya mean the whole thing was a setup?”
“Ranma, I know you must be upset—”
“Upset? Upset ain’t half of what I’m feelin’ right now!”
“I told you this was a bad idea,” Genma said, a slight smile forming on his face.
“I ain’t even started with you,” Ranma glared. “You actually went along with this?”
“No, I didn’t,” Genma said firmly. “While I’ll grant you that I knew that your mother wanted you to take over for her, and that preparing you for this has been a part of your training, she told me you were going to be a magical knight. As in, still male.”
“I was only off by one chromosome,” Nodoka explained weakly.
“Speakin’ of manhood, what was the deal with that ‘man among men’ crap? I mean, why would ya want me ta be all manly when ya wanted me ta be a magical girl?”
“Well, I was hoping that you’d be secure enough in your masculinity that accepting this post wouldn’t really be a problem…”
“Oh, yeah, that really worked out well.”
There was a temporary lull in the conversation as Ranma continued brooding silently, and it was getting more awkward by the second. “Um, Auntie Nodoka?” Akane finally spoke up timidly.
“Yes, Akane?” Nodoka asked, eager for any distraction from her enraged “daughter,” no matter how temporary.
“If you knew about Ranma’s curse, why didn’t you say so when you first met Ranma?”
“Well, I was going to, but you all were trying so hard to convince me that she was ‘Ranko,’ I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
“Well, ain’t that considerate,” Ranma said sarcastically. “But it don’t really matter,” she said as she rose from the floor, “because I’ve already decided what ta do with my life, an’ it don’t involve no ribbons or skirts or magical hoo-hah.”
“Ranma, running the School of Anything Goes is a noble goal, but Akane can handle that,” Nodoka responded, completely unaware of the winces that appeared on the faces of the two teenagers. “Besides, running a dojo can be a fickle business; at least as the Taiyohime you’d have a regular stipend.”
“Stipend?” Genma said, suddenly perking up. “What’s this about a stipend?”
“Being the Taiyohime is essentially a full-time job,” Nodoka explained. “And due to dramatically raised standards of living, in recent generations, the position comes with financial compensation.”
“Really? And how much compensation are we talking about here?”
“Enough to feed and clothe myself, pay off our mortgage and property taxes, surreptitiously pay for all of your legal and medical bills over the past ten years (and your various bar tabs), and take the occasional trip to Europe, with enough left over to establish a trust fund large enough to ensure that Ranma will lead a comfortable life even if he doesn’t become the next Taiyohime—a trust fund which you are not allowed to access, by the way.”
“Right… but if Ranma does agree to this magical girl business, these stipends will continue?”
“Of course.”
“Son,” Genma said in his most fatherly tone as he strolled behind his short, redheaded offspring and put his hand on her shoulder authoritatively. “I think it’s time you learned the importance of occasionally swallowing your pride—oof!” The stocky martial artist was cut off by an elbow to the gut which sent him flying through the screen door and into the koi pond.
“Stay outta this, ya greedy little good-for-nuthin’,” Ranma said derisively. “I ain’t interested in money,” she then told her mother.
“I did not expect you would be,” Nodoka replied. “Listen, Ranma, it’s become painfully obvious that there’s little I can say or do to convince you to take up my mantle.”
“Darn skippy!”
“However, I’m fairly certain that my superior will be able to do what I cannot. Will you talk to her?”
“Huh? Ya want me ta talk ta someone else who wants me in a skimpy outfit? Why should I?”
“Please, Ranma. If she can’t convince you, I’ll let the matter drop.”
Ranma paused at this. If he just talked to his mom’s boss, he could put this behind him; but on the other hand, his mom’s boss was probably really persuasive if she was that confident. “You promise that’ll be the end of it?”
“I promise.”
Ranma paused for a few seconds. “Okay. I’ll talk to her. Where is she?”
“That… is not an easy question to answer. It would perhaps be better to show you.”
“Why? She some sorta privacy freak?”
“I would hardly call her a freak, but she does prefer to stay out of the way unless necessary—there’s less commotion that way.”
“Commotion? What, is she a celebrity?”
“You could say that.”
“Have I heard of her?”
“Oh, most definitely.”
“Well, then who’s yer boss, then?”
“Amaterasu.”
Read the comments on this episode
See other episodes by Kwakerjak
(Posted Mon, 16 Jun 2008 01:38)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.