Ranma hadn’t been all that surprised when her mother pulled out her katana and performed a complex-looking kata with it; after all, she’d been lying about everything else, why not this? Still, she wasn’t expecting the kata to end with Nodoka using the family blade to slice through the fabric of space-time, creating a portal to what was apparently Amaterasu’s own private (and massive) estate on the Takama-ga-hara.
The scenery that mother and (female) son were traveling through was unbelievably peaceful and relaxing, like an Zen garden on steroids, but Ranma didn’t really take any notice. Quite frankly, she wanted to get this debacle behind her as fast as possible in order to return her attention back to her ultimate (if not very realistic) goal: a normal life. Perhaps she was deluding herself into thinking there was any possibility of this occurring, but the prospect of sweet, sweet normalcy was just too tempting to pass up, and one of Ranma’s criteria for “normal” was a functioning nuclear family. Of course, the pigtailed martial artist wasn’t entirely certain what qualified as a “functioning nuclear family,” but she was reasonably certain that ejecting his mother from his life would not help further this particular goal.
Still as angry as she was, the path the two of them were on was rather… well, boring. Thus, Ranma attempted to engage in an activity she disliked even under the best of circumstances: small talk. “So… this Amaterasu lady… is she, like, that Amaterasu?”
“If by ‘that Amaterasu’ you mean the Shinto sun goddess, yes.”
“You work for her?”
“Yes. The Taiyohime gets her power directly from the goddess herself,” Nodoka explained, clearly proud of herself.
“And the katana…”
“It’s the Taiyohime’s transformation object, as well as the primary weapon.”
“I’m guessin’ that yer actually pretty good with it, then?”
“My dear, I am one of the best swordswomen on the planet.”
“Right. And ya pretended ta be incompetent because…”
“Well, if I showed myself to be skilled, you might have agreed to go through with the seppuku pledge.”
“Wait… you mean you never expected me ta do that?”
“Of course not. You were six years old—you had no idea what you were doing.”
“Yet you let me think ya were serious.”
“What kind of mother would I be if you couldn’t take me seriously?”
Ranma could have easily made all kinds of replies to that statement, but instead tried to keep the small talk… well, smaller. “So… I was wonderin’, why is it that ya didn’t have a problem mentionin’ yer secret identity ta the Tendos? I mean, wouldn’t that mean the bad guys could hurt them?”
“A long time ago, perhaps, but ever since the Jonas Venture negotiated the Treaty of Tolerance with the Guild in the sixties, that threat has been minimized; really, the only reason any hero uses a secret identity nowadays is for protection from overenthusiastic fans. In fact, some don’t bother with one at all, particularly super-scientists.”
“The Guild?”
“The Guild of Calamitous Intent. It’s the premier organization of controlled costumed aggression. Very professional. But we can talk about that later… we’re here.”
Ranma looked around her and saw that they were in a clearing of some sort—which was very odd, since she hadn’t noticed when they even entered any woods. Wonder why Mom couldn’ta just taken me directly here… the reluctant female thought to herself.
“More than likely, she wanted to prepare you to meet me,” came the verbal answer, the suddenness of which caused Ranma to start—she hadn’t sensed anyone else here.
“That is because I’m immortal,” came another answer.
“Uh, could ya come out where I can see ya?”
“I’m right behind you.”
Ranma turned and immediately had to squint to make out the figure before her, so luminescent was she. As her eyes grew accustomed to the brightness (and the newcomer dimmed down to a more manageable level), Ranma saw a beautiful woman dressed in flowing white robes hovering a few feet off the ground in front of her. “Holy shit…” the redhead blurted out.
“If you truly desire to see that, you’ll have to look in my chamberpot,” the floating deity said drolly. “But enough of this. I am Amaterasu, goddess of the sun, and I would like to extend my welcome to you, Ranma Saotome, my new Taiyohime.”
That word was enough to snap Ranma out of any reverie she may have been in. Goddess or not, it was going to take more than a pretty face to get her to agree to this bullshit. “Oh yeah? Well, may I respectfully suggest that ya go fuck yourself?” This rather blunt rejection had two effects: first, it sent Nodoka white as a sheet, and second, it caused Amaterasu to stop glowing altogether, drop to the ground (revealing her to be only a few centimeters taller than Ranma) and march over to her current Sun Princess with an extremely cross look on her face.
“All right, Nodoka, what the hell did you do this time?”
“She cursed me on purpose…” Ranma began, before being waved back by the deity.
“Yes, yes, I’m aware of that,” she said almost dismissively. “Nodoka’s already been thoroughly reprimanded for that fiasco. I assure you that one way or the other, I shall set that right. But what I want to know now is,” she turned back to Ranma’s mother, “why you brought your son here when he wasn’t ready to accept your mantle.”
“A… Amaterasu-sama…”
“Oh, stuff the honorifics and give me an answer!”
“I… well… you said that if Ranma needed any more convincing, I should bring her to you.”
Amaterasu sighed and rolled her eyes slightly. “When I said that, I meant that you were supposed to bring him to me when he just needed a little extra boost to push him onto the noble path of the Taiyohime. You should have gotten past the ‘go fuck yourself’ stage hours ago!”
“But… but she never said that to me…”
“Probably because you’re his mother.”
“But…”
“Never mind,” Amaterasu said. “Something tells me I’ll get more information out of your son.” The goddess then turned to the still-female Ranma. “Tell me, young man, why are angry?”
Ranma looked aghast at the deity, and simply responding by hefting her breasts in her hands. “Uh, hello?”
“Yes, I understand why you would be angry about that, but why are you still this angry?”
“Because she was the one who did it!” Ranma shrieked, causing the “she” in question to shrink back.
“And her apology did nothing to assuage you?”
“Apology? What apology?”
Amaterasu’s face grew sour. “The profuse apology she was supposed to give you—the one that the two of us have been discussing repeatedly ever since she decided to carry out this half-brained scheme without my approval.” The goddess’ voice was rising in anger, and it was rather obvious that that anger was not directed at Ranma.
“I… I told her I did it…”
“That’s a confession, not an apology.”
“But… but surely the fact that I told her at all demonstrated that I was sorry. I mean, why would someone admit to something like that if they weren’t sorry about it?”
“Nodoka…”
“It’s not my fault she can’t tell when someone’s making an unspoken apology. Blame that on her father.”
“Nodoka, an unspoken apology is an unmade apology. Period.”
“But…”
“Period.”
“Yes, Amaterasu-sama,” Nodoka said in resignation, knowing she wasn’t going to win this argument (no matter how right she was).
“Now then,” the sun goddess said, returning her attention to Ranma, “as revealing as that was, it still does not explain why you have retained this rage even after she revealed that you would be given complete control over your curse…”
“Huh?!”
“She didn’t tell you about that, either?” Amaterasu said dully.
“I… I thought it would be better not to mention it. Then it could, you know, serve as... a reward.” When the following silence proved Nodoka’s explanation to be less than adequate, she tacked on an addendum: “You know, for her selflessness when she agreed to become the next Taiyohime.”
Amaterasu did not turn around to look at her servant, but instead put her face in her hands and began mumbling. At first, Ranma couldn’t make it out, but then it became clear. “I will not shut myself up in the cave again. I will not shut myself up in the cave again. I am Amaterasu; chaos shall reign if I forsake my duty; I will not shut myself up in the cave again.” After this mantra was repeated for several minutes, Amaterasu looked up and turned towards the older of the two mortals and waved her hand, opening a portal similar to the one the pair had entered by. “Nodoka, your son and I need to speak privately. Please return to the mortal realm. I shall bring Ranma when we are finished.”
“Y-Yes, Amaterasu-sama,” Nodoka replied, head bowed. She turned and began to head towards the opening, but was stopped before she could go more than five steps.
“Nodoka,” the goddess said without emotion.
“Yes?”
“Give me the katana.”
“Wh-why?”
“I believe it belongs to me.”
“What are you going to do with it?”
“Give me the katana.”
“Yes, Amaterasu-sama,” Nodoka finally relented. She took the bundle off her back and placed it at the goddess’ feet. “I’ll… be going now.”
“Thank you.” As Amaterasu closed the portal behind her servant, her face brightened, both figuratively and literally. “I must express my deepest regrets, Ranma,” she said to the teenager. “Nodoka was an absolutely brilliant magical girl—the best I’ve ever had the pleasure of overseeing. Unfortunately, time has shown her to be somewhat deficient in other areas of life.” The sun goddess stooped down and picked up the bundle which contained the katana which both represented the Saotome family and served as the Taiyohime’s primary weapon and transformation object. “Will you do me the kindness of taking a walk with me? There is much I would like to speak of.”
Ranma wasn’t quite sure what to make of all this; Amaterasu hadn’t turned out to be quite like what she expected at all. “Um, sure, I guess.”
“You have my sincerest gratitude.”
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(Posted Wed, 18 Jun 2008 03:46)
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