"Angel and Samurai," Sam answered blandly. "A rather idiotic choice for a preset Love Ball."
Ranma blinked at that, why in the world would a skilled swordswoman and a celestial messenger be a bad choice? Of course he'd win easily a fight against a samurai; well maybe not easily against the Grandmaster of one of the old Ryu's, but he'd win in the end.
Katie, the short and rather cute looking squirrel girl in Ranma's opinion, answered his unspoken question.
"Angel's hate cruel and abusive tamers, they'll rebel until either they or the tamer in question is dead even if sent through Level 5 taming cycles," Katie said with a sad look on her face. "Anyone willing to Love Ball a human fits into that category. As for Samurai, well they need to have a deep bond with their masters to even evolve from Ronin. Love Balling one into existence just won't cut it."
"Oh," Ranma exclaimed, that made a bit of sense after all. What Celestial being would want to stick around scum, and no Samurai would respect a honorless pig. That made a bit of sense.
"However that's not what we can expect the two to emerge as," Sam continued on. "Currently the Angel preset has over a ninety-nine percent chance to emerge as a Demon-Goddess."
Selena whistled at that, interrupting Sam. "Damn a Demon-Goddess is impressive. Not to mention extremely rare too."
"As in expensive rare or unique but worthless rare?" Nabiki asked without letting an expression form on her face.
"Expensive rare," Amanda the OfficerJenny stated dryly. "They're powerhouses on the level of Megami's or Demoness's with a wider moral range. A tamer whose perceived as weak but has a Demon Goddess will be targeted by other tamers to acquire her."
"Shit," Nabiki swore obviously irritated by this news. One of her sisters now had a big fat target painted on, and Ranma might still try and play nice.
After waiting for any other reactions Sam continued on with her explanation. "On the other hand the Samurai preset was switching back and forth between Slicer and a Witch. At least that was until she started reading as a G-Spliced of both types."
"Ah G-Spliced?" Ranma asked in a confused tone.
"G-Spliced's are created by combining the DNA of two Pokegirls to create a new one with the abilities, strengths and weakness's of both," a young NurseJoy with her pink hair tied back in a long pony tail spoke up, giving Ranma a warm smile. "Or at least that's the most common variation."
"Quite," Sam stated dryly as she eyed the young NurseJoy. "Going on that particular formerly human now G-Spliced Pokegirl."
"Wait," Ranma asked with a frown. "A human is now a Pokegirl?"
"The bastards captured Akane and Kasumi in those balls Ranma," Nabiki spoke harshly. "The only shame is that the third prick isn't dead yet."
"Akane and Kasumi are in those things," Ranma gestured frantically at the resting Love Balls. "Being turned into Pokemon right now?"
"Pokegirls Ranma, not Pokemon," Nabiki corrected him. "I only lucked out because the idiots screwed up the ball they used on me I think."
Ranma winced at this, as he considered what would have happened to him if he had been in his cursed form.
"As I was saying," Sam growled out annoyed at the constant interruptions. "The G-Splice combination is reading as particularly stable and should be able to follow both Slicer's and Witch's evolution paths with little difficulty. Although going Elementalist would be easier than Sorceress."
"So in other words a cheap knockoff of the Magic Knights," Selena pointed out snarkily. "A swordswoman magic girl."
"Oh," Ranma said as a look of enlightenment appeared on his face. A sword wielding magic girl wasn't that bad of a fate. "But whats a Demon Goddess look like?"
"I'll bring up the Pokedex entry," Sam replied before the Nerdette quickly activated a computer workstation to bring up the file in question.
"That's Ifurita from El Hazard," Nabiki exclaimed. "Jeez what's next the Sailor Senshi or Oh!My Goddess?"
"Magnificent World Ifurita or the Alternative series?" Ranma asked as he tried to examine the computer screen without bumping into Nabiki.
"Hmm Magnificent World I'd say, but the next photo is more Alternative," Nabiki concluded after cycling to the next image in the entry for Demon-Goddess.
"Demon-Goddess's do vary wildly in appearance," Sam replied. "It's that fact that she turned into one after being Love Balled thats so unusual."
"Oh I believe I can explain that," a new voice spoke up in a lilting British accent. "My Master sent me here to help."
The group turned and stared at the wide eyed blond young woman, who was rather tall, slim and dressed in a uniquely patterned summer dress, and had a necklace of bottle-caps around her neck.
Beside the blond was an Alaka-wham with a mane of long rather busy golden brown hair that complimented her rusty red skin tone. Dressed in a rather short tartan skirt and a dress shirt that struggled to contain her very large breasts, the Pokegirl had an irritated look upon her face.
"Luna Master Porker sent us here to investigate not help," the Alaka-wham stated clearly annoyed. "Get things straight."
"Really Hermione, you know Harry would insist on helping," Luna said with a cheerful smile on her face. "Now I heard someone needs the aid of a Megami first."
Amanda just sighed.
Selena on the other hand was obviously impressed as she asked, "As in Harry Porker. Blue League Champion. The Basilisk Slayer. Youngest Grand Wizard alive. As in that Harry Porker?"
"Don't forget able to tame nine hours nonstop," Luna added happily. "Magic's wonderful that way."
"Even nine hours won't get me tamed Luna. Not if Lily gets her way," Hermione complained. "Ever since she's possessed that Dark Lady's body she's been worse than a nymph. Bloody Groaning mother of my tamer, taking my taming time."
"There, there Hermione. I'll work fast then we get back to Harry and the others in Las Vegas," Luna soothed her aggrieved harem mate. "Its just a phase that will last until Lily gets the possessed body pregnant with her grandchildren."
Ranma and Nabiki didn't bother trying to make sense of the conversation.
Ranma mostly because he was trying to fend off the advances of the rather amorous young NurseJoy.
Nabiki on the other hand had visions of Nodoka dancing in her head. It seemed she wasn't the only crazy mother out there.
@@@@@
An hour later a rather traumatized Ranma had finally finished viewing "It's a Pokegirl World! A guide for Dimensional Travelers."
Face pale, sweating buckets, and trembling in terror the young NurseJoy lead him by one hand back into the meeting room.
"There, there," the NurseJoy crooned sympathetically. "Its alright. Just have plenty of taming sessions with your new Pokegirls and things will be alright."
"So what's got the invincible Ranma Saotome quaking in his boots like a two year old," Nabiki quipped. It was rather nice to have one familiar thing to fall back, Nabiki reflected, even if it was baiting Ranma.
"Happosai's dream come true. Akane's going to kill me. Happosai's paradise. Akane's going to kill me," Ranma stammered out, terror evident on his features.
Nabiki mentally acknowledged the point. Her little sister was either going to be a magic using swordswoman or a clone of Ifurita from El-Hazard who'd require sex to not be, what they'd call it, ah not Feral. That wasn't going to be a pretty conversation in the least.
"Moving on from the point that this world is practically Happosai's dream world come true less the rivers of sake," Nabiki hustled her usual victim. "It's your bloody fault my hair's now purple! You're going to pay for this Saotome."
"What did I do huh?" Ranma complained shocked back to normalcy at least momentarily.
"A delayed activation curse," Luna supplied cheerfully. "When she pleaded for your help it turned her hair another color and made her extremely, extremely horny. Some nice old fashioned Chinese curse work if I do say so myself."
"Well crap," Ranma said, it seemed the Amazons weren't above using magical means to punish Nabiki either. "I don't know what you want done about the hair. But take it out of that Gary pricks hide first."
"I helped with the horny part though," Luna added cheerfully. "That part of the curse will last another thirty days at least. I can't wait to cast it myself. Oh and I took care of the pesky Buzzbreast issue also."
Selena nodded in agreement with Luna. That curse was all a sneaky little devil designed to drive a girl wild without constant sex, she was going to get Amanda the OfficerJenny good for denying her precious cigarettes.
"Ta ta for now," Luna called out cheerfully. "We're going to back Vegas for plenty of taming, gambling, and taming."
"Finally," Hermione sighed in relief before vanishing along with Luna with a bang.
"But what about curing my curse?" Ranma asked sadly.
"You'll just have to find another Megami," Selena said casually. It really didn't matter all that much. The two humans were healthy, and soon to be out of her hair.
"Well thanks a lot," Ranma grumbled before frowning and asking in a concerned voice. "What happened to the other girl I fell onto?"
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(Posted Fri, 20 Jun 2008 09:23)
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