[Episode 20982] [Episode 20982]Urd smirked. "Oh, I thought it might be interesting to arrange a little love match like so:" she held out a datapad. "It's brilliant, isn't it!? After all, I am the godess of love!"
"Excuse me?" Freja, Vanir Goddess of Love demanded with a voice so frosty it threatened to bring on Fimblvittar. "Godess of What, now?"
"Oh, let her have her little fantasies," Hestia advised.
"Not this time," Freja declaired. She snatched the datapad and glared. "This just won't do! Request denied."
"You can't do that! She's so perfect for him!"
"You just don't get it, do you? The boy is finally taking his destiny into his own hands and you want to add another arrangement to the list? It's got to be his decision! In fact, I'm putting a prohibition on all supernatural attempts to influence his affections. And that means you!"
"But..." Urd protested.
"As for you, Urd, Norn of the Past," Freja pronounced sentance and began to make a rapid dataentry, "Sys. Admin. or not, it's time you learned who has the access codes to the Lovematch database!"
"You wouldn't!" Urd paled.
"Wouldn't I?" Freja asked with a tone that put the timetable for the Big Freeze forward another decade. "Launch codes confirmed."
"I'm outta here!" Urd cried and droped into a vortex in the floor.
"Look out! Smart Missile coming through," a bright pink polaris anounced as it rocketed through the space Urd had occupied then pulled up to a stop in mid air. A mechanical arm popped out of a hatch and snapped its white gloved fingers. "Missed her by that much!"
"Keep on her tail soldier!" Freja commanded.
The missile snapped to attention and saluted. "Yes, Sir, Madam Sir! Maxwell's Smart Missile number 45 reporting for duty. Don't worry mam, The Guided Missiles of Love always get our man. Er, woman."
"Goddess," Kishijoten corrected and clapped her hands in delight. "It's just so kyuute!"
"Whatever, Mam," the missile agreed primly. "Would you believe we have a two hundred percent sucess rate?"
"Really?" Kishijoten demanded excitedly.
"Would you believe one hundred and fifty? ... How about nine times out of ten? Best two out of three?"
"Soldier, you're wasting time," Freja interupted. "She's a tricky one!"
"Just a moment," Bastet held up her hand. "What's your payload, soldier?"
"I am carrying a Love Force 10 warhead, Mam," the smart missile replied, "configured to make the subject fall hopelessly in love with one "Ranma Saotome". I'm also loaded with a secondary geas parameter that will lock the target out of the Yggdrasil system until "Ranma Saotome" selects a life partner."
"Oh that's just plain wicked," Bastet gasped in delight. "Urd so hates to lose her access. And she will have to win him on her own without her powers or potions!"
"Let's see who's the 'love godess' now!" Freja sniffed.
"Who's da love goddess?" a chibi-cherub Freja cheered from her shoulder. "You da love godess, Freja!" a second chibi-cherub admired from the other. "Go girl, go!"
"Let me add a little spice of my own," Sekmet said and stepped up to the missile. "Prepare to download a new configuration, soldier." She leaned close and kissed it firmly on the warhead.
"Whee! I want to play!" Kishijoten announced and rushed up to hug the missile. "Here's one for good luck!"
The missile turned bright purple and bulged.
"Watch out!" Freja warned. "You'll cause it to detonate!"
The goddesses made a hasty double move away from the pulsating warhead. That was one detonation they didn't want to be caught in.
"A Maxwell Smart Missile does not suffer from premature detonation," the missile excalimed primly as it's coolant rods brought its core temperature back down. "Would you beleive, almost never? ... How about..."
"Soldier," Freja snapped and pointed to the floor. "Your target is getting away."
"Oh, yes!" the missile saluted. "Search and Deliver. Up, Up and Atom!" It launched into the air of the cathedra chamber, circled around, then plunged through the vortex floor.
"Run all you like, Urd," Freja cried after it, "there's no escape from the Guided Missiles of Love!"
"What did you download, sis?" Bastet asked curriously
"Oh, just a little felinanthopy virus to give Urd a chance," Sekmet replied. "We don't want her to drop out of the game too easily."
"You didn't," Bastet admired. "If you deliver that along with ... Sis, that's positively evil. I love it!"
"Oh, I get it," Freja said after a moments thought. "As werecat in love, she'll go into heat around him. Nasty."
"I am the eye of Osiris," Sekmet said proudly. "I don't work for Divine Retribution for nothing!"
"What about you Kishijoten?" Hestia asked. "What did you give it?"
"Just a kiss," Kishijoten said. "What? It was cute!"
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(Posted Mon, 06 Jan 2003 07:44)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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