First Contact.
The alien ships in orbit were visible with the naked eye. Some were as large as ten big cities, globes over 1000 miles across, bricks a mere hundred miles long, cylinders that you could fit three of the globes inside. The smaller city-size ones were in near Earth orbit.
A single word had been broadcast in two dozen languages when the objects had mysteriously appeared in Jupiter's orbit. "Wait."
After that mysterious message and the resulting bombardment of the ships from every radio and television transmitter possible, that was followed by a similarly short message. "Prepare for test."
"RANMA! GET IN HERE!"
"Aw, that stuff ain't got nothing to do with martial arts," grumbled Ranma.
Cologne sighed. "I just made chicken lo mein."
ZIP! "Why didn't ya say so?!"
Akane bonked Ranma on the head. "Idiot. The world could be invaded at any moment by aliens from outer space and you're only concerned if there's food involved."
"The reception is quite clear today," said Mousse, staring out the window.
"Where did they move the room?" Ryouga asked from a linen closet.
"Where'd you get a projection TV anyway?" Nabiki asked appreciatively. Maybe she ought to try a few blackmail schemes on the place if they had this kind of lucre.
"I generally keep it in storage unless baseball or soccer are being played, in which case the clientele appreciates the game being on." Cologne shrugged. She wasn't that concerned with making the business a great success, but it was something that the customers liked.
"The countdown timer is at thirty seconds," noted Akane, taking a bowl of lo mein herself. "Why are you being so nice, Shampoo?"
"Shampoo can be nice if want to," answered Shampoo. "Besides. If die soon want plenty positive karma."
"People of Earth. Attention please. Observed your planet. Cannot yet decide if you are children or on verge of being adults as society. News broadcasts indicate maybe you are children who need parents."
"It's a talking camel!" "No, it's a hippo." "No, it's a panda." "You're looking at Pops, Mousse."
"Therefore we scan and decide test you planet based on three individuals if you is mature or not."
Cologne took a deep drag from her pipe. "I wonder what the penalty for failing this test is."
"Boring," said Ranma, digging into his bowl. Aliens. Big deal.
"Representative from Japan: Ranma Saotome of area Nerima in city Tokyo..."
The next few lines were lost entirely by reactions to that statement.
Nabiki got up during all this, picked up a metal tray, and started beating the hell out of a panda. "We're all dead because you raised your child to be an immature egocentric moron!!!"
Akane was beating on Ranma. "You idiot! You just doomed everyone!"
"Maybe if we kill him before the test, they'll appoint someone different," suggested Mousse.
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(Posted Sun, 05 Jan 2003 13:52)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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