Even though he hadn't had his abilities for very long, Ranma had already learned that he was better at communicating complex ideas when he thought them, rather than attempting to express them verbally (which, ironically, was precisely the point behind the ditzy genie's action in the first place). This even held true when all of his wives were sitting quietly in the same room as he was, which was why he chose to summarize the situation to them mentally: Okay, here's where we stand. My Pops and Akane's dad aren't totally on board yet, but my Mom is, and she can probably rope them into some kind of acceptance. Ucchan's dad thinks she's a perv, but he's decided to support her. Obviously, the Amazons are with us, especially since Mousse is going to be out of our hair for a while. And Kodachi's convinced her brother that her delusions about my cursed form make more sense than his, so he's out to reform his "Fallen Angel." Am I forgetting anyone?
Yeah, how about everyone else in Japan? Akane thought glumly.
"It's not that bad," Ranma replied aloud. "It's just a little weird."
Guessing what her wife had thought from the context, Shampoo relayed her own ideas on the matter. I think she still has a point, Airen. How does the proverb go? "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down."
Okay, so maybe Akane's right to be worried about it. But what are we supposed to do? If Ucchan's dad proves anything, pretty much everyone is going to assume we're massive perverts.
Hmph. Maybe some public pressure will convince the rest of you to be more open.
Can't you do something constructive for once, Kodachi? Please?
"Of course I can, Ranma-sama," the gymnast replied, speaking aloud so all her spouses could hear. "We in the Kuno clan have always been skilled at treading the edge of public acceptability. I assure you, one can get away with almost anything, so long as it lines up with others' expectations. Thus, we need only come up with an explanation that will account for our subsequent actions—those we make in public, anyway—and that will deter all but the most persistent annoyances."
"Uh-huh," Uyko said skeptically. "And how, pray tell, are we supposed to pull that off?"
"We simply make it known that the five of us have hit upon a solution that conveniently takes care of any outstanding marriage claims, and that this solution involves all of us joining the Amazon tribe. That would explain why we are spending so much time together; presumably, there would be some sort of introductory training that some of would need to engage in."
"Okay, two things," Ukyo replied. "First, that's not going to stop any rumors. Second, you never had any marriage claims on Ranchan."
Kodachi waved the latter of these two away. "A minor detail. As to your first point, we don't need to stop rumors. All we need is plausible deniability. Thus, to that end, I suggest that Ranma-sama participate in a more formal marriage ceremony with one of us, in order to further deflect gossip."
Ukyo rolled her eyes. And I suppose that you're the one who'll be on the other end of this ceremony.
"Naturally, there is one of us who would be far better for this purpose than the others: Akane."
This suggestion surprised everyone, but especially the girl in question. "Wha—huh? Me? Really?"
"Of course. Your obsessive prudishness is well-documented, so few will suspect that your relationship with Ranma-sama isn't monogamous. Also, you have already selected a wedding dress—one that looks quite lovely on you, I might add."
Plus, according to Nabiki, she was always the odds-on favorite to win the Ranma Derby, Ranma added.
"Indeed. My plan, as you can see has the advantage of being mostly true; we'd simply stop short of telling the whole truth. Naturally, rumors will persist that Ranma is having a physical relationship with all of us, but there's no reason to let them know how accurate they are."
"And what about rumors about lesbian sex between all of us?" Akane asked.
"What, exactly, do my fantasies have to do with this?" Kodachi retorted.
Ranma rolled his eyes as a particularly lurid image of Akane and Kodachi floated into his mind from the former of the two. Sorry, Akane, he transmitted apologetically as he noticed his spouse's wince, but you two are really pretty, and that kind of thing is hard to ignore.
Akane sighed. It's alright, Ranma. I know I'm going to have to get used to it, but that doesn't make things any easier.
"Is there anything else we need to take care of?" Ukyo asked.
"We still need to decide what to do about Kodachi's suggestion," Ranma said.
"And?"
Ranma sighed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think she might have a good idea. If most folks think the two of us are married, and the rest of you are doing some sort of mysterious Amazon thing, that'll probably cover a lot of situations we might have to deal with. Unless someone else has a better idea..."
No one did, and it was for lack of this hypothetical "better idea" that the telepaths decided to take that course of action, despite the doubts that naturally arose due to its originator's... issues.
Wonderful. Now I have to come up with some sort of "training" to serve as a cover. "Anything else?" Shampoo asked, hoping to change the subject.
"Uh, yeah, there is," Ranma said. "In fact, it's something all of you have been wondering about occasionally, but none of you wants to say it out loud." Basically, who's gonna have sex with me first?
"I wish to point out that the only reason I refrained from saying it aloud is because I don't wish to offend the sensibilities of my most prudish spouse any more than necessary," Kodachi stated. "Otherwise, I would have been most vocal about the issue."
"Thanks, Kodachi," Akane said, doing her best to muster up as much gratitude for the gesture as she could.
"Not right to make Ranma choose," Shampoo said. "That how we get into mess in first place. This one suggest we draw straws, consummate with Ranma over next four days."
"Sounds kind of awkward," Ukyo said.
"Awkwardness inevitable at this point."
"Ya got that right," Ranma said.
Ukyo sighed before calling out to her faithful servant. "Konatsu! Could you get a broom out here?"
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(Posted Tue, 17 Jan 2012 01:56)
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