Ranma's New Day: Redecorating [Episode 212258]

by Kestral

That there was a planet about the size of Earth manuevering through the solar system was, as one might expect, not something that could be ignored. At least not by everyone. There were groups and factions and even a few nations that declared it impossible and therefore it wasn't happening.

Nor was there a particular single response, theory, or development. Other than everyone who had worked with/on the stardrive going into seclusion and (speculation in the media mostly agreeing) developing escape vessels so that someone could escape the alien cataclysm heading their way.

Telescopes were trained on the errant planet and found it very Earth-like, if a glacial frozen sort of Earth-like. White crystal everywhere, which many found bore a close-enough resemblence to the Krypton from the Superman movies to provide a ready handle.

When the albedo of Mars began to change, that only interested a relative few.

Of course, with all the panic there were side effects that had nothing to do with even a cursory shot or radio message sent from the errant planet. Financial markets collapsed, people didn't show up for work, bars did record business, looting, riots, martial law being imposed, martial law breaking down, three wars were called off and five more were started.

As to what the aliens were doing, that was a matter of intense speculation.

The only clue they had was a bizarre snippet of radio that had been transmitted FROM one of the NASA Mars probes.


"Ima anata no koe ga kikoeru, (Right now I can hear your voice,)
koko ni oide to, (saying 'come here')
samishisa ni makesou na watashi ni, (just as the loneliness starts to get to me,)
Ima anata no sugata ga mieru, (right now I can see you)
Aruite kuru, (walking towards me,)
Me o tojite matte iru watashi ni, (as I wait with eyes closed)"

"That's the snippet, and that's the translation," said Professor Snarkee of NASA.

"Some kind of weird love song?" asked Professor Deadwood, also of NASA. "What does it mean?"


What a bizarre number of languages and sub-cultures they have.

They're primitive. They're idiots. They're annoying. Even when I sent that recording from our subject's memories, they didn't react in any sort of intelligent manner. Screeching primates - the lot of them.

They're boring. Sure, the specimen has some interesting facets - the race itself is just another suicidal primitive like 20412. Terraforming this deadworld is much more interesting. Can I have the second planet too?

I believe the phrase is - 'Knock yourself out.'

I think the species has some possibilities if guided along an evolutionary vector. I have come up with twelve possibilities that could be accomplished with minimal expenditure of energy.

Whatever. Do what you want with them. They're the sort of species that would put our specimen on a untested starship despite the cellular damage from improper shielding. Look at the broadcasts we've intercepted. Anything you do would be an improvement. On the other hand, look at this design for a single celled plant lifeform I've come up with. Elegantly simple and straightforward, don't you think?

Not everyone is as fascinated with the microscale organisms as you are.

Well, if we can't decide on a single approach. There's just one thing to do.

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(Posted Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:28)


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