Cologne turned to her embarrassment of a husband and promptly began to chew him out. "What did I do to deserve you? Its bad enough you're only three inches and could barely get it up even in your prime. But, you didn't throw in child support and left as soon as I had a bun in the oven to go be butt buddies with every man you could find! Do you know just how mortifying was for me to know that you didn't understand what it meant to be a man?"
Dumbledore silently took Cologne's abuse wishing he could be back fighting Tom. Many people had asked him why he had stayed and fought the good fight for so many years. His usual response was that it was something that needed to be done. The truth was, knowing that Cologne would track him down if he ever left western Europe kept Dumbledore where he was.
Continuing on, Cologne really started to lay into Dumbledore. "And now thanks to your moronic idea, Shampoo's lost all chance of winning Ranma Saotome as her husband! Two members of the family having to settle for wizards as husbands at the same time. Unbelievable, I can barely stomach the idea. Shampoo deserves better than to have one of you impotent, lazy-ass losers as her husband."
Trying to salvage the situation, and keep his free room for the night, Dumbledore tried to placate the banshee from hell-, er, his loving wife. "My dear, Harry Potter is different from other wizards."
However, Dumbledore was quickly cut off by Cologne. "What do you mean he's different from other wizards? Is he one of your 'close friends'? Please tell me that you haven't degenerated further into pedophilia."
Dumbledore sputtered in shock and rage. "Cologne! How could you think so low of me? I'm proud to say that none off my lovers has never been younger than 22! Harry is different because he is the Boy-Who-Lived! It has been foretold by prophecy that Harry will defeat the greatest threat to the modern wizarding world!" That, Dumbledore was sure, would impress Cologne and make her see that Harry wasn't such a bad catch.
Cologne was not impressed and quickly replied, "You mean to tell me that you people are so inept that you're leaving it to a teenager to beat that upstart crime boss? Why couldn't you have solved that little problem the civilized way of publicly beheading every Death Eater you capture and placing their heads on spikes for public displays? When this Harry wakes up I'm going to place him into remedial martial arts. Shampoo isn't going to have the further embarrassment of her husband dying from fighting a two-bit delusional loon."
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(Posted Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:24)
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