Ranma sighed as he pulled out his wallet, counting out the required amount of money to pay for his and Naruto’s meal. It wasn’t that he minded paying—he could even ask Ichiraku to put it on his mother’s tab since she had one set up for him and probably Naruto at most of the eateries. It was that something was confusing him. “Hey, Old Man?”
“Hmm?” asked Teuchi.
“Do you know why everyone blames me for my mom’s ideas?” Ranma asked.
“Now Ranma,” said Ayame, a small teasing smile on her face as she pointed at him with a ladle, “you should know better than to go to those places.”
“You ever said ‘no’ to my Mom?” he asked flatly.
The adults stayed quiet, as if they had not heard him, going back to whatever preparations they still needed to complete for running the Ramen Bar.
“Oh, that is so evil,” muttered Ranma, glaring at the two adults.
The last twelve hours had been brutal. First there was the interview with the Hokage after killing the Idou. Then the trip to the bathhouse, which he knew from the start, would not end well.
He should have known something bad was going to happen from his mother’s suggestion, if not the fact she required them to Henge before even getting close—apparently this proprietor was smart enough to know that if Nodoka entered your business, it involved training her son, which meant angry females and their destructive tendencies were soon to follow.
It hadn’t been that bad: apply chakra to the feet while following a routine his mother defined, which involved walking on the water as well as the multitude of surfaces around the spring, all while maintaining the Umisenken and utter silence. And the first half hour had been okay, even with the occasional items tossed by his mother at him if she was lucky or for him to catch before they broke.
Then other people entered.
Now don’t get him wrong, Ranma wanted his mother to consider him manly, even when he was a she. That was in part based on his Nerima life—you never really forget a threat of seppuku—and the desire of his Konoha-self to impress his mother. No kid wants to disappoint his mother.
He did not however, want to be ‘unmanned’ by angry kunoichi because of his mother’s training stunts. So before they would notice a certain naked redhead walking about, Ranma decided discretion was the better part of valor—and thus likely to allow him to continue living with all parts still attached and not strewn out across the landscape—and made a beeline for the door, hoping to grab his supplies, slip over to the guys’ side, and change back to male before anyone noticed.
A certain blond from his class however chose that moment to bump into him—both minus towels—with her mother. It was enough to break his concentration and thus drop the Umisenken. And even if her mother didn’t know the redhead, Ino certainly did.
As if I don’t get enough weird and evil looks in class as it is, he muttered in his mind. If anything, this either proved his Old Man had been right not to allow him to train at home during his Nerima-life, or his mother was somehow a child of a Konoha-version of Happosai … or worse, Jiraiya.
… By the Gods … he might be the Toad Sage’s … grandson! I’ll never feel clean ever again. That image alone was worse than anything Ino could do to him in class when she let loose a tirade about who was inside the girls’ bath when they weren’t supposed to, even if she added ‘additional’ elements to her story.
“Come on, Naruto; let’s get to class,” Ranma said sadly, as the duo left Ichiraku’s. With any luck, he could get through the day without running into any of the females who had chased after him from the bath house.
“Hey Ranma, you okay man?” asked the concerned blond. “I figured you’d be all happy and stuff, what with today being our taijutsu practice day.”
Sighing, Ranma tilted his head back, looking at the sky. “Nah, not even bouncing Sasuke around like a ball will cheer me up at the moment,” he replied.
“This ain’t because of what your Mom stitched on the back of your jacket, is it?” he asked with a teasing smile.
“Nope, not… What?” he asked, stopping immediately, his left foot still in the air. Slowly, he lowered his foot and removed his jacket, praying that it wasn’t what he feared it would be.
“DAMN YOU TO HELL, FATE! DAMN YOU AND THE BUILT LIKE A BRICK TOMBOY YOU RODE IN OWN!”
Akane looked up from her book, trying to discover where that scream had come from. “Wow, someone’s pretty angry.
“And why do I have the sudden desire to punch that pervert you have class with?” she asked her sister. “And speaking of perverts, does he have anything to do with why Mom said I have to escort you to and from school for the next month?”
Nabiki just continued to smile as the duo made their way to the Academy. It would appear as if someone had done something to Konoha’s Icha Icha Ninja. She wasn’t sure it had had anything to do with the ruckus she heard last night. But seeing her mother grab a bottle of wine while muttering ‘damn it, not again’ over and over, she’d bet it had something to do with Ranma, especially since while the incident was happening, her mother checked on her about twice a minute on average, with several attempts to find out if it was really Nabiki in that room. “Oh leave him alone, Akane. Face it, despite Auntie’s best attempts; I seriously doubt Ranma is as perverted as everyone insists he is.” She had no intention of explaining to her sister just what had occurred to lead to her new grounded status. No way was she going to give Akane that sort of munitions to play with ... for free.
“Everyone knows he’s a pervert,” snorted Akane. “He keeps sneaking into girls’ bathes and stuff.”
“Akane, he is a girl part time, suffers the second biggest biological pain a female undergoes, and if I recall, witnesses said Auntie dragged him into that female-only public bath. And what Auntie wants, Auntie gets.”
“You make it sound like Auntie is some super pervert or something,” grumbled Akane.
“What did she get you for your last birthday?” asked Nabiki.
The last Tendo blinked. “Um … a gift certificate for some place called Heavenly Pleasures,” replied Akane.
“And do you know what that place is?” asked Nabiki with a smirk.
“Um … I haven’t had time to go there,” quietly replied the embarrassed Tendo.
Shaking her head, Nabiki just continued on. “When you do, let me know. Just so you know though, there is only one place by that name in all of Konoha, and it is the only one that offers gift certificates.”
“How will that prove Auntie is a pervert?”
“Trust me,” was Nabiki’s reply. “And take Kasumi with you, she’ll help you out.” She’ll probably need some of that massage oil they sell there too.
Big sister was right; it really does work better than that balm stuff they sell in the business district. And Nabiki seriously hoped her mother never found Nabiki’s supply of that oil. Heaven only knew what the woman would think such material was being used for, especially after Nodoka’s escapades last night.
I hate both of my lives, grumbled Ranma. There it was, bright as a noon sun, heavily embroidered stitching, and with a nice note in his pocket from his mother telling him to wear it with pride.
“Guess you really are now the Icha Icha Ninja,” said Naruto with a smile, patting his friend on the shoulder as they looked at said nickname now emblazoned on the back of his jacket.
“Naruto,” Ranma growled. “I don’t know how, I don’t know where, and I don’t know when. But someday … I will make you suffer for this.”
“Hey, how is it my fault?” he yelped, backing cautiously away from Ranma.
“You gave my mom the idea,” Ranma replied darkly.
Naruto just chuckled nervously. “Oh, look at the time,” he said quickly, looking at his arm despite the fact he didn’t have a watch, “don’t wanna be late for school!” With that, he darted for the Academy as fast as his legs would carry him.
“GET BACK HERE!” yelled Ranma as he darted off after him.
“It’s good to see such friends like that,” smiled Teuchi, watching as they ran down the street.
“I just can’t believe Nodoka put that on his jacket,” sighed Ayame.
“Shhh!” squeaked her father, as he slapped his hand over her mouth, looking around quickly, face pale. “Never say her name, it might summon her!”
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(Posted Fri, 16 Jan 2009 13:12)
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