Ranma thought long and hard, then shook his head; all of the major problems he could think of had been assuaged by their discussion, and no resistance to the idea remained in him. Of course, whether this was natural or influenced by Mihoshi's magic was anyone's guess, but Ranma was in no mood to be suspicious and nobody else knew of the wish he'd made, so his fate was of his own making either way.
"No, granny, I ain't got any problems... or should that be, I have no problems... great-grandmother-in-law? ...And now I know why you always call me son-in-law; that's a heck of a mouthful."
Even though she had been hoping that this was what would happen, Cologne still couldn't keep her eyes from widening in shock at Ranma's declaration. They returned to normal after a moment, however, and her face lit up in a joyous smile.
"You can call me what you like, sonny. It feels good to hear you say that of your own free will at last. I'll just go and get Shampoo-"
"Not yet." Ranma interjected. "I'm not backing out of things, but I'd feel easier if you'd tell me the plan first."
"What plan?" Cologne asked in a confused voice.
"The plan to leave this place behind? After all, you knew that getting me to accept the marriage was just the first step- you still had to figure out a way to make it so that Pop, Ukyo, Akane, Mr. Tendo and the Kunos wouldn't follow you. Happosai might get involved too, if my old man and Mr. Tendo are desperate enough to go after him for help- to say nothing of him not wanting to lose his favorite 'toy'." Ranma shuddered in disgust at this. "So, what scheme did you cook up to solve this?"
"..."
"...You never thought that far?" Ranma finally commented in disbelief.
"It never occurred to me, alright? We had enough trouble just getting you to admit that Shampoo was your wife, we didn't have time to plan anything further." Cologne finally grumbled. "Like I said, I'll go and fetch Shampoo; the three of us can figure out how to solve this matter after you reveal your decision." She got up and began to hop out of the room.
"Make sure you lock Mousse away- last thing we need is him gumming up the works." Ranma called after her.
There was no reply from the ancient Amazon, but Ranma assumed she had heard him, or would think of the same problem herself. He waited patiently, and the two female Amazons entered the room after a couple of minutes.
"Great-grandmother say that Ranma have something to tell Shampoo?" The blue-haired girl asked, curiosity and eagerness present in both languages, verbal and body.
Ranma spared a second to take a look at her, as though he was truly seeing her for the first time... and perhaps, in a way, he was. She was definitely attractive, there was no denying that, capable of both raw sexuality and refined cuteness as her mood shifted or the situation desired. Undeniably passionate in her feelings, she had never hidden how she felt about any matter, though she still had control enough that she could be deceitful if necessary. Rather sneaky, yes, but so was he. He wondered why he'd never noticed these things before...
Realising that Shampoo was still staring at him expectantly, he forced himself to focus on what was going on. Abstract thought could wait until later, like it normally did. "Right. I... ain't all that good with big speeches, and I don't really know what to say in this situation anyway, so I'll just keep this simple? Shampoo? Wo ai ni. I love you."
The reaction he got was not what he'd expected, to say the least. To put it simply, Shampoo fainted dead away.
"What happened? I thought she'd be happy I finally returned her feelings." Ranma probably could have said something more tasteful, but he had a tendency to just blurt out the first thing that came into his head when things went in directions he hadn't anticipated. A silent but telling glance from Cologne made him realise just how stupid he had sounded, and he rubbed his head sheepishly. "I guess I have been kind of cold to her up till now..."
Any comments that Cologne might have been tempted to make were cut off when Shampoo returned to consciousness, announcing this fact to all present with a melodramatic groan. "Great-grandmother? Shampoo just have strangest dream; Ranma tell me he love me at last."
"Um..." Ranma hesitantly offered.
Shampoo looked at him, eyes wider than normal, then looked back to Cologne. "That wasn't a dream?" She asked in a soft, hesitant voice that Ranma couldn't recall ever hearing from her before. Cologne nodded, and when Shampoo looked at Ranma, evidently for confirmation, Ranma nodded as well.
The next thing Ranma knew, he was lying flat on his back on the floor, his arms full of one very happy girl. The only reason Shampoo wasn't singing her joy to the heavens was because she had found a far more interesting usage for her lips, and Ranma was starting to understand just why other teens seemed to be so preoccupied with kissing...
The sudden application of Cologne's staff to both of their heads cut off any thoughts of continuing with the nookie. Cologne stood strong in the face of the disappointed expression that Shampoo was giving her, but silently took heart that a similar expression was on Ranma's own face. Further proof that he truly had come to his senses (as far as she was concerned) was always welcome.
"Enough of that for now, children. As Ranma has pointed out, there are other problems that we must address now your husband has agreed to the marriage."
"Problems?" Shampoo asked, an unidentifiable emotion tainting her query.
"We need to figure out how to get the others off of our backs, at least long enough to pack up our stuff and get out of town. Of course, the ideal is to keep them from chasing us all the way to China." Ranma explained. He then looked thoughtful. "Hmm... Ukyo's fairly reasonable, and she was the one who basically decided to pick up the engagement. Maybe if we talk to her, we can make her agree to drop it again?"
"You no is serious, is you Ranma?" Shampoo asked.
"It couldn't hurt to try." Ranma replied defensively.
"And if the worst comes to the worst, you could offer to put the engagement off to the next generation." Cologne pointed out. "That is, have one of your children marry one of her children to fulfil the promise that your father made. That's also a valid possibility for dealing with the Tendos, come to think of it."
"Not to mention that Akane's called the engagement off before, and she's the one who's really in charge there." Ranma pointed out. "If she gets mad and breaks things off again, we can just hightail it while's mad and be off scot-free. My old man will probably try to come after me, but I don't think there's anything that can stop him for long."
"Akane falling in love with some other boy might also work- in fact, might work better, as it mean stupid mustache-man have less motive to chase Ranma; he already have son-in-law, and Akane not want to marry any other boy." Shampoo added. She then looked thoughtful. "But where to find other boy for her? We no have any love magic left, except for Day love pill..."
"That's all that's needed for us to make our escape, and for her to get re-engaged." Cologne said. "I'll go and fetch it."
As she hopped out of the room, Shampoo suddenly snapped her fingers. "Shampoo just have idea for how to deal with stupid Kuno!"
"Really? What?"
"Stupid stick-boy think that Ranma is evil wizard, yes? Then why not play with his delusions? Go to him, claim that you no longer need to stay in Nerima and you leaving it to go to China to further your power. You no need to keep Akane as thrall anymore, so she's free."
"And what's to stop him from coming after me to 'free the pigtailed girl' or something stupid like that?"
"Simple. You remember Instant Nanniichuan? Well, Shampoo not buy that alone- get in mixed set of Instant Jusenkyo powders. Shampoo have bag of Instant Nyaanniichuan too. If Kuno get stubborn, Ranma can fake he chanting spell, and Shampoo will dose stupid stick-boy with Instant Nyaanniiuchan. Ranma can claim that this is 'evil spell' he just learn, and if Kuno dares to come to China, then Ranma will turn him permanently into bimbo girl."
"...That is sick, twisted, wrong, devious... and a wonderful idea. Jerkass deserves some payback for all the times he's molested me. You got the stuff?"
"Right here with me." Shampoo answered triumphantly, pulling the package out of nowhere.
"Excellent, then you two have a solid plan ready." Cologne spoke up, startling both of the teens. "Here is the bracelet with the last remaining love pill. It will take me some time to finish packing and arrange for transport and the disposal of this restaurant. I trust that the two of you will be able to handle settling the other matters?"
The two teens looked at each other, nodded to each other, then returned their attention to Cologne before voicing their assent. Rising to their feet, they took the bracelet from her and headed downstairs and out of the Nekohanten.
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(Posted Sat, 07 Mar 2009 20:55)
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