The Demon Fox started throwing books into bubbling cauldron. As each book went inside, there was a brief plume of colored smoke rising up from the cauldron.
"Hmmm, oh yes," said the Fox. "Basic Medical Ninja Techniques Made EZ. Basic Herbcraft For Beginners. Basic Shiatsu For Medical Students. Basic Reiki. Basic Microbiology. Chakra Use For Medical Ninjas..."
"I don't know, I don't do too well at studying," complained Naruto.
"...Study Habits For Dummies," added the 'Ninetails' as it merrily continued. "Advanced Chakra Techniques, Ninjitsu For Dummies, The Twelve Habits Of Successful Shinobi..."
"This isn't going to interfere with my dream of becoming Hokage, is it?" asked Naruto.
"Not at all," said the Being as it paused with its arms full of books. "Tsunade, one of the Three Great Sages of Konoha, is a medic-nin but is also a candidate for Fifth Hokage."
"Oh," said Naruto, still a bit put off by the whole scene.
"...Advanced Herbcraft, Advanced Shiatsu, Advanced Medical Ninja Techniques," continued the Being as it returned to throwing books into the cauldron, "Bizarre Shiatsu Techniques and Their Counters by Cologne of The Joketsuzoku..."
"I'm really not that smart," complained Naruto.
The Ninetails paused, picked up a box marked 'IQ Plus' and dumped it into the cauldron. He followed it with a gallon of 'Memory Retention Formula 42' before stopping to consider Naruto briefly. Taking out gear appropriate for handling highly radioactive substances (not that Naruto knew this) the Being carefully put a single drop of some other substance into the cauldron. "Not a problem!"
"Why did THAT cause a bigger cloud of smoke than everything else you put in there?" asked Naruto, getting nervous.
"Don't worry about it," said the Ninetails. "If this works, you'll make Hinata (or any other girl you share 'special time' with) a VERY happy girl."
"Well, I guess that can't be so bad," said Naruto.
"Now, this will only give you the full effect," cautioned the Faux Fox, "when the trigger is applied to switch you to MegaMode."
"'Mega Mode'?" asked Naruto, making a face.
"So call it whatever you want," advised the Being, dropping something short and furry that otherwise seemed to consist mainly of teeth and claws into the cauldron. "Power Mode, Super Saiyan, Doctor Naruto, MegaPlay - whatever name you want to stick on it. This will be a you at full power, with knowledge and abilities you don't have at present. It will be you at the potential peak of physical and mental capacity. offer not available in all areas. some exclusions may apply. actual mileage may vary."
"What exactly does that mean?" asked Naruto.
"You'll see," said the Ninetailed Fox calling itself Inari. A puff out of the cauldron, and the Being reached in and plucked out a single cup of bubbling fluid. "Here. Drink this and you'll be able to help Hinata. In order to go into MegaNaruto Mode in the future though, all you'll need is a kiss."
Naruto finished drinking then cocked his head. "Odd taste. Sorta bitter and sweet and... I need to do WHAT?!"
"-so you see, Naruto will be able to help you out by turning into his Supermode. However, to get into that mode, he will need your help," said the Ninetailed Demon Fox.
"What exactly are you?" asked Hinata in the dream mode.
"I am the Ninetailed Demon Fox caged within Naruto!" roared the beast.
"No you're not," said Hinata.
"I AM... what?" asked the Demon Fox.
"You are not the ninetailed demon fox," said Hinata, her voice indicated a grand total of zero doubt.
"What makes you think so?" asked the Ninetails. "I WILL DEVOUR YOU IF YOU GET TOO CLOSE!"
"No, I don't think so," said Hinata, going up to the cage door and tapping it with one finger. Nor did she move very far as it swung open.
The Demon Fox stood there, looking at her for a moment, baring its large fangs in menacing fashion.
Hinata stared back.
"Not buying it, are you?" asked the Ninetails.
Hinata just shook her head once. "It was a really nice try though."
"Everyone else is convinced," noted the Ninetails.
Hinata continued to look squarely at the Ninetails.
"I *could* destroy you, you know," said the Ninetails.
"I know," said Hinata, softly.
"You'd be a bit more impressive if your knees weren't shaking," pointed out the Ninetails.
"I am quite aware that whatever you are, you have power," said Hinata.
The Ninetails began morphing. The end result was still massive, and still a fox, but not quite so feral in appearance. It was merely three times the mass of an adult male human, with golden fur broken by the patches of white in the usual places for a fox. Still dangerous, still wild, but considerably more foxlike in appearance. "This better?"
"Yes, thank you," said Hinata.
"What gave me away?" said the Ninetailed Fox Being. A tail flicked with a little sparkly effect.
"I've... been watching Naruto for quite some time," said Hinata.
"Because you love him, yes, I know," said the Ninetails with a smirk. Foxes were really good at smirking.
"WHAT?! I? THAT IS? NO?! I..."
The Fox continued to smirk, not deigning to tell Hinata that this part of their conversation was now being lucid-dreamed by Naruto and the boy would be able to remember it later for at least a day or two.
"no,I mean I, that is, I..." Hinata was twiddling her fingers, blushing furiously, and trying not to look at anyone or anything.
"Humans never cease to amuse and puzzle me," said the Fox, or what was still imitating a Fox. "You face opponents who could and would kill you without a qualm, but you just can't spit it out when you are in love to the person you care for."
"It's not that easy," said Hinata to her feet.
"You would rather take the chance that someone else will find Naruto attractive, bend him to her will, and take him away, than to even hand him a love letter," said the Fox, shaking his head. "Humans!"
"But... but I can't! I mean..." said Hinata.
"I find the situation around Sasuke Uchiha far more amusing than the one with you and Naruto," said the Fox. "Maybe I ought to go arranging for someone else to fall in love with Naruto. Maybe Shizune despite the age difference."
"Shizune?" asked Hinata.
"A medical nin," said the Fox. "Seven years older than Naruto. Though I could easily fix that. I've already set up some amusing things with that Land Of Hot Springs."
"But..." Hinata said.
"It's better than having the soul ripped out of her body and discarded when someone comes to kill Naruto," said the Fox. When Hinata looked up in alarm, he added a bit of explanation. "That's what would happen if things progressed normally. You and your village will face particularly nasty opponents over the next few years."
"I can't," said Hinata. "I just can't. I love him. I've loved him for years. When I was afraid and alone, when I had no one to turn to, and I couldn't go on - I saw Naruto. Naruto never gives up! Naruto always finds a way to continue! But... to tell him."
"He has a crush on Sakura Haruno, who loathes him at present," noted the Fox as he cut the relay to Naruto's dream. "Given time, she may get to see the real him - as you have - and get over her animosity. It's up to you, of course. But now I have to ask, will you help him or not?"
"I will!" declared Hinata.
"Okay," said the Fox, resting his/her head on her/his paws. "The trigger will be a kiss."
"A... WHAT?!" asked Hinata, covering her mouth in embarrasment at her outburst.
"Oh yes," said the Fox. "Yin and yang, male and female chakra, at which point Naruto will achieve that MegaPlayMode and reach his full potential. Stronger, faster, and so on and so forth. For about fifteen minutes to start with."
"A k-kiss?!" squeaked Hinata.
"Why would I want to kiss Naruto even if it gives him a powerup?" asked Ino Yamanaka, wondering why she was having such a bizarre dream.
"Because it also gives YOU a powerup," said the monstrous Ninetailed Beast.
"Uh huh," said Ino. "And exactly WHY do you care about this?"
"Because I'm bored, destruction is entirely too easy," said the Demon Fox. "Why aren't you frightened?"
"Because this is just a weird dream," said Ino. "At least this one makes some sense. Well, more than the one last night. I don't even LIKE licorice."
"SASUKE! SASUKE SAVE ME!" yelled Sakura, cringing back as the Ninetails loomed over her. "SAVE ME SASUKE!"
"Uhm. I'm trying to talk here," said the Ninetails. "You're not usually this codependent either."
"HELP! HELP! HELP! SASUKE!" continued to scream Sakura.
"Oh bother, never mind. I gave you the basics, now do what you want," said the Ninetails, abruptly vanishing.
"We now return you to your regularly scheduled dream, already in progress," said a walrus.
"Sasuke!" said Sakura, running over to the bishonen figure and glomping him. "Thank goodness you're here."
"And I brought THIS," said Sasuke, hauling out a large drum of Chocolate Syrup, a bag of marshmallows, and a pair of graham crackers roughly Sakura's height.
"In the midnight hour," sang a black cat somewhere, "she cried s'mores s'mores s'mores..."
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(Posted Mon, 20 Apr 2009 17:36)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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