He was wondering if it was on the fritz right now.
The moment he'd switched it on, the room had faded out. He was now staring at the night sky, except it completely surrounded him. Over there was where Hiashi Hyuga stood. Over there...
Naruto stood, looming at least three sizes larger. Behind him glowed the stars of the big dipper.
Hiashi was limned by a thin white glow.
Naruto had a blue-white glow that sent little streamers and embers off.
Closing his Sharingan, Kakashi looked again. Just Naruto facing off against Hiashi Hyuga.
"I'll put down a small bet on Naruto," murmurred Jiraiya.
"I don't think I'll take that bet," responded Kakashi equally quietly.
"If I win, I will take Hinata as my pupil and teach her some of my fighting style," said Naruto. "With her Gentle Fist combined with my training, even you will have to admit her worth. I will also make sure she is allowed to train as a medic-nin."
"Ha!" said Hiashi Hyuga, who couldn't possibly admit in front of his small squad of followers much less the other leaders and the jonin that he'd been largely dismissive of Hinata's talents. "The Gentle Fist is a supreme style practiced by Byakugan users. Your weak style cannot improve upon it."
"Wanna bet?" asked Naruto, cracking his knuckles.
"Certainly," said Hiashi, seeing Hinata poking her head around the corner behind Naruto. "If you can beat ME, not only can you take Hinata as a pupil. I'll have her delivered giftwrapped."
"'Giftwrapped'?" asked Naruto, not having expected that.
"Pink ribbon and a bow," said Hiashi contemptously.
Hinata suddenly pictured herself tied up in pink ribbon at the center of a large gift basket and presented to Naruto. She had the expected reaction. SPURT! THUD!
Well, maybe hardly anyone expected her to have a nosebleed before she fainted.
"You all have witnessed this?" asked Naruto, with considerable more calm and control than anyone who knew him really expected.
"I have no doubt about the outcome of this," said Hiashi. "If I win, you will simply be driven like the cur you are from our village."
Naruto's eyes narrowed just a bit, but he nodded an acceptance to the terms.
"Begin!" declared Hiashi, dropping into a stance. "Byakugan... what the hell?"
Kakashi had no doubt that Hiashi was now seeing the same starscape he'd seen with the Sharingan. And had dropped his guard ever so slightly because of it. Which took the slight chance Kakashi had been willing to give the Hyuga clan head and tossed it to the wind.
Naruto simply drew his arms in, took a deep breath, and released it all at once. "HA!"
THWAM!
Jiraiya blinked and waited for Hiashi to unpeel himself from the wall. Looking closer revealed that the only thing showing of the Hyuga clan head's eyes were the whites. "A shove using a wall of chakra? Hmmm."
"HOW DARE YOU STRIKE LORD HYUGA!" said one of the Hyuga accountants, charging up to Naruto and yelling at him from point blank range.
"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would have farted," said Naruto, looking down at the retainer.
"NA-NANI?!" said the accountant, clearly outraged beyond all sensibility.
Kakashi noted Jiraiya was writing that line down and would probably incorporate it in one of his books.
"GET HIM!" yelled the accountant.
Toink! went one of Naruto's fingers, apparently penetrating the accountant's skull to the second knuckle.
Gurgle went the accountant's midsection.
"The Watery Bowels Of Hell Point Strike," said Naruto. "It is the fitting end for you."
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed the accountant as he ran off in search of a bathroom.
"He's not going to die, is he?" asked the Hokage as he checked Hiashi and found that the Hyuga clan head was out cold. Out any colder and he'd be in a coma.
"No," said Naruto with that cold seriousness for a moment before flashing his usual cocky grin. "He'll just be wishing that for a few more hours."
"We must avenge Lord Hyuga!" said one of the other retainers.
"Why?" asked another retainer, scratching his head. It HAD been a formal challenge after all. "Where have I seen pink ribbon on sale?"
"But he..." said the first retainer, then realized that Naruto was seeming to loom larger in the room. "I think I know where I can find a tailor supply shop. We need to get on that as soon as we get Lord Hyuga home and comfortable."
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(Posted Fri, 10 Apr 2009 23:11)
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