[Episode 220909] [Episode 220909]
Ranma pumped his legs, rushing back home to the Tendo Dojo. He didn’t know how to feel, having had to leave all of that cash behind with his mother—such would likely make her a target by something... but such what she insisted upon and he trusted her to do the right thing before the crazy fuckers his friends found out and demanded a cut for one reason or another.
Coming down off a nearby roof, onto the dojo’s perimeter wall, and then back down to the ground, the son of Genma Saotome walked up to and opened the front door. “I’m back!” he called out.
The eldest Tendo daughter raised her head from where she was pushing her broom and smiled at her family’s houseguest. “Welcome back, Ranma-kun,” Kasumi greeted nicely. “Did you have a good day?”
“Oh, sure Kasumi!” the pigtailed martial artist said in an assuring manner. “Not like I found a king’s ransom in various forms of currency and then brought it over to my mother’s or nothing—I mean, GEE! Dinner smells GREAT!”
Kasumi just blinked for several seconds. “You found a ransom?”
“Nope, why’d you think that?” Ranma asked nervously, scratching the base of his pigtail, looking about. “Oh, we’re having fish for dinner?”
“I... you...” the eldest Tendo shook her head. “Well, I may have misheard,” she admitted. The woman then explained, “I would have sworn you said you found a lot of money and went over to your mother’s. Never mind then.”
Letting out a breath of relief at getting off the hook, Ranma took two steps into the house...
Only to be stopped as there was as he found Nabiki suddenly standing there before him. The middle Tendo daughter had her hands on her hips, glaring at Ranma. She looked the pigtailed Martial Artist up and down once, twice, three times. “Okay, Ranma, what did you do with it?”
The pigtailed martial artist blinked his eyes curiously “...Do with what?”
“The money!” the most mercenary of the Tendo daughters snapped, handing out her hand in a manner very much akin to extortion. “I can smell it on you! C’mon, and fork it over already, Saotome!”
“But I don’t have any money!” Ranma yelped out, holding his hands out before him in a defensive manner.
Her glaring eyes seemed to narrow even more, as if to cut him open and see if the money was hidden inside her golden goose. “Right; like I’m going to believe what you say over my own senses.” With that, her hands reached out, patting him all over his body. If Ranma had funds on him, she’d find them!
Let’s see... her thoughts began. Lint, receipt for ice cream...
Wait; he never pays for that unless he has to! That means he had some money.
Continuing on... More lint, few coins stolen from Ms. Hinako, key to his... mother’s house, she finished, smiling, but giving him a few more ‘accidental’ pats to make him flustered and thus easier to make slip up.
Although flustered, the heir of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts held his ground. “See, nothing...” Ranma said as he started to step away from the middle Tendo daughter, not liking where this was going... especially as she was feeling up ‘little Ranma’ and making him feel things that his father had taught him were evil and unmanly...
Only to suddenly bump against something. He turned around and realized it was his father, the lenses of the man’s glasses flashing with a dangerous sheen. “Uh... Pops?”
“Where’s the cash boy!?” the father of said youth snarled demandingly. “You better not even think of holding out on your father!” he threatened menacingly.
“I don’t have any money!” Ranma shouted, waving his arms.
The older man roared in a growing rage. “Liar! I can smell it on you! Don’t make me whoop your ass, boy!!”
“I ain’t got any!” the raven-haired teenager cried, darting to the side and avoiding his father’s attempt to grab him.
“EEEK!”
Genma did succeed in his hands latching onto Nabiki, namely in the chest area.
“...That will be a hundred thousand yen for me not to tell Daddy that you manhandled one of his little girls,” the middle Tendo said heatedly.
The Saotome Patriarch barely managed to meet the young viper’s gaze. “...Soun wouldn’t buy it.”
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. “I also noticed you haven’t let go yet.”
“...Ah, yes,” Genma removed his hand quickly and then coughed into it, clearing his throat. “Um... put it on the boy’s tab.”
“HEY!” Ranma shouted. “No way in hell am I taking that cost on my tab!”
“Of course you will,” Genma shouted. “You have money now, you can afford to ease the financial bleeding of this Yen Vampire! You must look out for your old man!”
“Says who!?” the pigtailed martial artist demanded to know.
“Says me!” the portly sometimes-panda individual shouted back.
Nabiki stood back with a smile. “Sorry, Uncle. I don’t trade in debts. Cash now or you’ll pay later, and an extra ten thousand a day I have to wait for it.”
“...No problem, surely my son will spot his honorable—URK!” he cried out as Ranma’s kick caught him in the head.
“Oh, please!” the younger Saotome snapped at his father. “I’ve seen movie villains with more honor than you, Old Man!” Ranma cried. “"Now, I—eep!!”
Nabiki decided to stop him from running off at the mouth or sneaking away like his father was, and decided he wouldn’t likely flee if she held his ‘little friend’. “Now, Ranma-kun, you really don’t want to hide the fact you have money, do you? I mean, this is the type of big news I think everyone should know.”
Ranma was stock-still, sweating profusely. “Um... could you please let go?”
Smirking, Nabiki was about to comment how he should be enjoying that she wasn’t going to charge him for such when she herself was out-yelled.
“RANMA! I smell some serious coin on you boy!” was the battle-cry of the Grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts as he rushed to the hallway. “C’mon and give your Grandmaster a hand! I know you have enough to spare!”
“What is it with people smelling money!?” Ranma demanded to know, becoming increasingly frustrated.
“It’s easy to grasp the scent, and it’s an especially foreign smell on you boy.” Happosai hissed. “Now if you don’t hand any over right now, you’re dead, you hear me? DEAD!!”
“For the last damn time, I ain’t got any money!” he cried out in exasperation.
Happosai narrowed his eyes. “Tell me where you’re hiding it, boy, or I’ll let Soun know you and his middle child are busy gropin’ each other.”
“Why are you dragging me into this, Grandfather?” Nabiki drawled, planning several different ways to make the small pervert pay for that. The bounty on his head was rather large, after all, and growing every day.
It was the only reason she hadn’t turned him in yet: she wanted to see when it would finally level off.
Sighing sadly, Happosai shook his head in shame as he said to Ranma, in a saddened, almost distant voice, “You leave me no choice... I had sworn I’d never use this technique on a man but there is no other way!”
*Fft*!
*Fft*!
*Flip*!
*Fft*!
*Whip*!
*Fft*!
Ranma blinked his eyes once, twice. “Old geezer, what the hell did... you...... Eep!” he squeaked as he trailed off, looking down to see himself completely naked, Nabiki now grasping him more directly. Although horrified, a small voice in the back of his mind wondered how the old bastard stole all his clothing without moving Nabiki’s hand.
Whipping out Ranma’s pants into the air and making them flap, sending lint and a few coins flying free, the old freak snarled. “DAMN IT! WHERE’S THE CASH!?”
“WHAT’S WITH ALL THIS NOISE?” cried Akane, marching down the stairs. “I swear, I can’t... even... study...” she finished lamely, staring at the scene before her.
“...Shit," as the last thing heard from Ranma, before it all ended.
Nodoka was smiling as she waited for word from her realtor about making an investment for her son. So far, all signs had looked good for the property to be purchased, and tons left over to renovate and hire staff. “Oh, I wish he was here to share the good news with...”
*BAM*!
Blinking, she looked out the hallway, spotting a nude boy impacted into the ground.
Oh, oh could it be? Did the heavens finally grant her wish, and give a poor, honorable, faithful woman the manly little slut-boy sex-slave she’d always prayed for every night for the past twenty-five years?
Yes, she had begun praying for it well before she got married, but after said marriage, she felt she genuinely deserved it!
Rushing quickly towards the damaged boy—well, she did have that kinky nurse’s outfit she had always wanted to use—she paused, looking down... and felt somewhat upset that it was just her son.
She still didn't stop looking. That was what an imagination was for, after all!
“Urgh...” Ranma muttered, slowly opening his eyes. He wasn’t exactly sure how it was his fault that the Old Letch had stripped him and Nabiki was groping him... perhaps Akane would have an answer when he finally got home... after the world stopped spinning and returned to focus.
“Ranma... Ranma honey, are you all right?” the Matriarch of the Saotome family questioned softly. “Did you come here as a shooting star, to grant your mother’s wish for hot, incredibly naughty incest sexing?”
“...What?” Ranma asked, looking up at his mother in confusion.
“I mean, did you come back to see how your investment was going?” Nodoka corrected herself. No reason to scare the poor boy until things were ready for him to escape back to her womb.
Slowly allowing his mind to restore normal functioning, his eyes focused upwards, spotting his mother—and wondering why she was retying the sash for her kimono. “Um, not really. Something happened at the Tendo’s. I don't think I should head back for a while.” He may have wanted answers, but he understood that he also wanted to live.
“Well, if you figure that is for the best,” Nodoka replied. Oh, she was going to have her son over for the night... maybe longer if she took her time trying to find him some clothes that fit.
However, she’d have to put such thoughts as seducing her son on hold for the moment. She blinked her eyes as her phone began ringing. “Oh, Ranma, head inside will you? I need to get that!” She started to rush into the house heading into the kitchen and grasping a phone off from the receiver there. She brought it up to the right side of her head and answered, “Hello! Saotome Residence. Saotome, Nodoka speaking...”
“Hello there, Megumi from Takahashi Realty speaking,” the voice spoke up. “Is this the same Saotome that had been inquiring about the availability of ‘The Pink Kitty’ on 732 Nekomimi Boulevard?”
Nodoka seemed to perk right up at hearing that. “Oh yes,” the redhead replied with a smile. “That is I.”
“...You do know what this place is, right Ma’am?” Megumi asked. It wouldn’t have been the first prank she had received.
“Oh, I do,” Nodoka answered. “I also understand the last owner had a run in with both the Yakuza and the FSA, so, he’s looking to sell at a deep discount. And I have been hoping to get my son started in the business world.” She grinned. “Hope springs in me that he will take to it and learn how to be a proper manly man in the business world!”
“...Ooo~kay,” Megumi replied. Yep, had to be real. No college asshole would be this insane over the phone. “Well then,” the woman continued, deciding she needed to get this over quickly. “I’ll be sending you a fax over the phone. If you and your son would sign it, then send the fax back, we can see about setting a time for an open house tour... is tomorrow good for you?”
Nodoka licked her lips. “Yes, tomorrow should be good.” Oh yes, this was perfect. Now Ranma would HAVE to stay over. “Oh, Ranma!” She called out to her son, the phone/fax machine starting to spit out printed paper. “Would you come here, please?”
Of course, she’d probably have to get him some decent clothes to attend. Genma’s suits would have been...
...
......
Oh, who was she kidding? Genma! Own a decent suit? Fool had insisted he could marry her in his gi!
Well, she had to hope some of her kimonos fit Ranma’s female form. Then they would simply have to hit a store tomorrow and have him wear the suit out the door.
“Yeah, mom?” Ranma asked, entering wearing only a towel.
“Ranma, dear...” Nodoka spoke up as she took a paper from the machine. She looked it over quickly. “Would you be a dear and sign this document... top line where the big ‘X’ is...” she said with a smile.
“Um... sure...” Ranma said slowly, making sure he had a firm hold of the towel with one hand as he reached for the other. He signed it easily enough and then allowed his mother to sign.
As she put her name to the paper, the woman turned about, and started dialing the right numbers on the machine. “Okay Megumi, I’m sending it back to you—contract for deposit obligations for purchasing intent.”
Ranma just blinked his eyes. He had no idea who Megumi was, but that hadn’t looked like an engagement contract. So he didn’t think anything of it.
Still he couldn’t help but feel a shudder. But since it didn’t even rate a ‘3’ on the Scale of Nerima Back Shudders, he ignored it.
“Just got it,” Megumi stated. “Okay, I’ll see you there at noon. The cleaners should be through then.”
Nodoka nodded her head, even if the Real Estate Broker couldn’t see the action. “Good. Please let them know that I’d really appreciate it if they get decent cleaners for the blood stains—such is part of the contractual obligations for purchasing the establishment and I’d rather not have to pay further to make certain its cleanliness.”
“No worries, such is standard, as well as repairing the bullet holes and cleaning the human organs from the wall.” Stupid college partiers. Couldn’t they just follow the rules? “I shall see you there at noon.”
As Nodoka hung up the phone, she turned towards her son, deciding it was best he hadn’t noticed her quickly discarded panties under the table. She’d probably have to get them on soon before he noticed. But she so had been looking forward to that wish...
“Now dear, go get a bath, and I’ll see if I can find some clothes to fit you. Then w’'ll settle down for a nice dinner. And I do apologize, but the bed in your old room is kid-size, so you’ll have to stay with me in my room tonight.”
Ranma blinked his eyes, once, twice. “Eh, ain’t no problem, mom. I’ll just sleep on the floor—I normally do anyway.”
“There will be no argument over this, son,” Nodoka said sternly. “When we retire, you will do as your mother says, be a man, and sleep in bed with mommy.”
Ranma blinked his eyes once, twice. “Um... mom? Why would you want me to sleep in your bed?” Didn’t she know how dangerous it was? He got attacked in his sleep on a nearly nightly basis!
“Now Ranma, there will be no further discussion on this,” Nodoka stated firmly. After all, it would be nice to have a male in her bed who didn’t threaten to smother her in his sleep by simply rolling over.
“...Fine...” Ranma agreed. Why were all females stubborn? Oh well, worse came to worse, he’d just have to protect his mother like he always did Akane when she got in the way and ended up causing more problems.
He just hoped there were no marauding traveling princes looking for women to make their princess this time...
Or, in his mother’s case, would it be a traveling king looking for a queen?
“Now, I do believe there should be a robe in the furo that was meant for your father,” Nodoka continued. “Though he never wore it once,” she continued, not having seen Ranma's earlier revulsion at wearing something his father had after a bath change to relief at knowing it had been still cherry. “But the rest of your clothes, we’ll have to buy tomorrow. I’ll call some friends and see if they can assist us with that tomorrow.”
“Really?” Ranma asked curiously. “Why don’t we just call Kasumi and have her deliver something?” He was sure she was possibly the only one he could trust in that household to handle his boxers.
Nodoka shook her head. “No; it’ll be dark soon, and it wouldn’t do to send her home in the dark.”
“But she could share the bed with you,” he offered.
“Yes, but then it would be tight for all three of us, and that would cause unsightly rumors about all of us.” The Saotome Matriarch shook her head. “No, best not to let them know where you are at for the moment,” she finished.
Ranma sighed. “Okay, fine...” he looked at his mother and pointed at her phone. “Could you dial for me? I... er...” he blushed. “I don’t know the Dojo’s number.”
Chuckling lightly, she waved him off. “Go take your bath,” she giggled. When she was sure he wasn’t within hearing range, she snorted. Oh, like she was stupid enough to give those girls any lead! She had just finished decorating this new house, damn it!
That she may enjoy her son being manly, didn’t mean she wanted those crazy-ass bitches in her hood, wrecking up shit!
“Oh dear, I may have been watching that rap channel too much,” she replied. She frowned and realized she was holding the phone and was about to put it back on the receiver... when a small smile suddenly came over her face as she realized what she could be doing. “Wait until Ikuko-chan hears about this!”
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(Posted Sun, 15 Aug 2010 23:06)
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