[Episode 237340] [Episode 237340]Lying back in the furo, Ranma let out a long-suffering sigh. This... this had been one hell of a day and he was really, REALLY not looking forward to going back to the Tendo Dojo. That had NOT been his fault, kami damn it! He was not doing....... “things” with that blood-sucking harpy-leech-vampire-bitch of a mercenary middle Tendo daughter!
And yet, he knew that is what Akane saw it as, and would likely pound his head into the ground with a tent spike as soon as he came home. Why a tent spike? It was about the only thing at the Tendo Dojo she hadn’t smacked him with outside of Kasumi’s cooking...
Man, why couldn't she assault him with Kasumi’s food? No, instead she was always trying to get him with those culinary disasters she always tried to pass off as food!
So, here he soaked, trying to forget the worries of the world, while enjoying the fact that he could soak here and not have his time interrupted by a tomboy with a reading impediment.
“Son?”
...Okay, but in his defense, his mother was definitely not a tomboy.
Ranma sighed as he looked up. “Yes, mom what can I—WOAH!!” He yelped as he saw the woman come in, clad in only a sheer kimono so wispy it was practically see-through. “Muh-mom! What’cha doin’ here!?”
She smiled. “Silly son. Dinner is taken care of and I figured it probably would be best to clean up before we dine.” She then took off said kimono either not noticing or simply ignoring how her son flailed in the water, getting a view that told him, yes, the curtains DID match the drapes... and that this was likely what his girl form had to look forward to if he had the curse for that long, something along the lines of age forty reaching over twenty.
Well, except for the bottom hair. His was already thicker there as a girl. Perhaps he should ask about that...
“Can you take care of my back, my manly property-owning son?” she asked.
Well, now there was a decision. Help his mom who liked to carry sharp objects—including said silk-covered object now sitting in the corner of the bathroom—or tell her no.
...
......
...Yeah, like he ever had a choice. “Sure, mom.”
The woman smiled as she saw down on the tiled bench off towards the back with some faucets. Grabbing a bucket she kept near, she was already starting to fill it. “Thank you for being such a good little boy, Ranma. Mommy is VERY proud of you...”
Especially as she got a look at him down there. Kami-sama! He was as large limp as her husband was fully erect! Granted, she’d had a feeling such was the case from when he landed in her backyard, but there’d been that dust cloud generated from the impact which had made her view a bit hazy...
Plus it had been nearly two decades since she had last seen her husband’s ‘little buddy’ and even then, it was under the effects of lots of alcohol...
Hmm... maybe that was what her mother meant by it being a tradition to do at least three dozen shots before the wedding...
She didn’t get to consider much more as her son scrubbed along her back with a felt sponge, and some soapy water. She sat up straight on the back, clenching her legs together and curling her toes as she tensed. “Ooooooh! Oh, Ranma... your hands are VERY skilled!”
Now, while it was odd hearing such from his mother... Ranma couldn’t help but puff up with a bit of pride at such praise. “Well, I have been studying Doc Tofu’s books when I can.” He had to! He wouldn’t trust that doctor if his life depended on it! Screwing with his spine and making him paraplegic had been one thing but then screwing with so many medical texts that were meant to help, only to have him rip them up? And then finally to know what the Strength Sapping Moxibustion was but to have no clue how to treat it!?
Doctor do no harm, my ass... Ranma thought bitterly, not noticing how his hand moved down to rub the small of his mother’s back.
“Harder!” cried Nodoka. Damn, her muscles had never been worked on so roughly! Personally, she did think that massage therapist at the local college had been a bit too effeminate to work her right.
But now, her manly son was taking care of some of her issues—more after they went to bed and it could all be blamed on wet dreams—at least, according to Maury.
“You sure?” Ranma asked, not wanting to hurt his mother. After all, without her... he might look like Pops in both forms...
Now there was a scary thought... which was promptly killed by Common Sense and Self-Deception... before it was sold to a medical ward where the cadaver was promptly violated by a college student with issues.
Nodding her head, the trembling woman shouted, “Harder!” Damn it, she needed that skilled hand working her spine with masculine might. “Show me how good you are at massaging! Show me you’re the best!”
And THAT did it. Ranma might have often felt odd around his mother but when he was challenged, his pride often took precedence over common sense. His right hand rubbed the cloth around the small of her back harder, working her skin with soap bubbles and sudsy sins. His left hand took ahold of the other cloth that had been hanging on the bucket and slid it up and down along her spinal column, getting it nicely between his mother’s shoulders.
Yes, it was an odd application of the Katchu Tenshin Amaguriken... but his mother sure seemed to like it.
After a rapid series of cracks, Nodoka Saotome would have sworn she had had the mother of all orgasms! Sadly, she also knew it was both her spine popping into place and internal tissues feeling joy at proper realignment.
Sadly, this also meant her naughty zone was not spitting like a professional American baseball player. But being a female, she could multi-task: thus both enjoy her perfect spinal alignment and plot on how to make her son work on her front.
Ranma smiled a little. Although he was flush with embarrassment, the way his mother was moaning in relief obviously meant he was doing something right. Both hands moved down, caressing his mother’s hips for a moment, massaging her tense gluts.
The raven-haired teenager frowned. “Mom, you don’t need to push back into my hands. I’m starting to lose my grip,” he warned her, having to lean over to try and keep her from moving off the seat, his pectorals pressing into her sudsy back along her shoulders to help steady her.
It had been far too long for Nodoka, and not just intimate male companionship. Had that been it, she would have been working at the local High School in the Athletics Department, like all the other desperate single women.
But no; as a married woman, she couldn’t merely sleep with some male gymnast or a speed skater—the rare straight one. Given that her husband was a martial artist, she would need someone not afraid of the small-penised bastard trying to cripple them.
Luckily, her son had no such fear! And hadn’t her fellow lonely housewives said that if you wanted a better man, to raise them? Granted, they had probably meant the pool-boys they had visit... but damn it! Even Genma might notice that they had a pool-boy over but no pool!
His hands coming off of her rear, Ranma worked his hands up along the sides of his mother’s torso, expert fingers gliding over her hips and up along her ribs, washing into her armpits, slowly rubbing. “Mom...” he said slowly as he cleaned her. “I know you’re enjoying this but I’m almost done with your back, you’re going to need to start cleaning yourself.”
The woman cooed, both from the pleasure of her son’s skilled martial artist’s fingers and the disappointment of realizing that yes, he almost was done. “C-can’t you give your mother a break and wash your mommy’s front too?”
That made Ranma pause in his motions, eyes going wide and pupils shrinking to pin-pricks. “...”
It was a conditioned response. After all, when a guy who turns into a girl is hit hard enough for such reasons, even he will wash his girl-side with their eyes closed.
Sadly for him, Ranma was not such a boy, who could connect those dots. That was also, probably why said hits had never decreased.
However, that had also technically been his body. The body currently thrusting their suds-covered top at him was not in said category.
Leaning her head back onto her son's right shoulder, Nodoka nuzzled her left cheek to his right one. “Please, Ranma... mama is feeling surprisingly weak right now... be a good boy and use those marvelous hands to help mama get clean...” she turned her head, breathing hotly onto her son’s ear. “Mama’s feeling SO dirty...”
Ranma’s back shuddered, a solid FIVE on the scale of Nerima Back Shudders. This was NOT good but... oh crap... why was his mom putting him through this? His eyes trailing over to the katana in the corner, the pigtailed martial artist wondered if he had enough time to just bolt out of the bathroom before she could get her hands on it. She was pretty out of it.
And then she whimpered, “Please?”
Sighing, Ranma knew he was going to regret this immensely. Resigning himself to cleaning the woman, his hands, still holding the towels, slide his hands around her torso, moving along the rib-cage, right to the sternum.
Must not look, must not look, must not look... the pigtailed martial artist thought bitterly as he cleaned his mother. After all, who could resist their mother asking for help... aside from lonely men who ran hotels and liked drag?
He was not Konatsu!
“Sure, Mom,” he finally verbally replied. As he said such, his fingers dug deep into flesh, working to make them erase their tenseness! As a dutiful son, he would do what was necessary to save his mother, even from stress knots!
Sadly for him, Nodoka could direct him to fight those—or what she claimed was those—anywhere. “Ooooh... that’s it, my manly son...” the woman cooed. “A little higher, please... I have quite a bit that needs washing.”
Eyes watering—and not because there was soap in them—a resigned and soon to be mentally-scarred Ranma resigned himself to what needed to be done. His hands came up beneath his mother’s breasts, getting behind them and cleaning into where they were press against her chest.
The woman's moans were quite the happy sort. “Yes... j-just like that, Ranma... clean nicely and then clean over.”
Ignoring the growls he had come to associate with the Neko-Ken being crowded by new mental trauma demanding room, he continued to work, slowly inching upward.
Going higher, he worked to relieve her stress, and Kami help him, his middle right fingernail caught a nipple.
“OH YE~EEEAAAAH!”
And the Neko-Ken growled louder as it was pushed back to mental balcony seating.
“Oh, oh Ranma... just like that, just like THAT!” she praised him, raising her arms up and wrapping them behind his head, keeping her son pressed to her. “Please... work mommy’s tits... mommy has dirty, dirty breasts... make sure they’re nice and clean...”
Ranma whimpered, his hands continuing to move over his mother’s mammaries.
The woman smiled wider. “Ranma...” she cooed her son’s name.
The martial artist visibly shivered. Kami-sama, that was a seven! A SEVEN! It only got that bad when one of his rivals came at him with a new technique and/or power-up! “Y-yes?”
“Lose the towels and work the soap in with your hands...” she kissed his cheek. “Please.”
Feeling a bit of himself die on the inside—and the Neko-Ken run through the doors of the balcony seating and try to get past the popcorn vendors—he did as told. After all, Mommy knew best... and had a sharp sword to gut you like a tuna if she felt you weren’t being manly.
So, closing his eyes, uttering a prayer, and mentally repeating, ‘they’re just like mine’ Ranma dropped the wash cloth and... groped Mama.
“OOOOOOH!” Nodoka moaned heartilly. “Yes, Ranma... work ‘em... work mama’s breasts just like—”
*RING*!
Both mother and son paused, eyes snapping open as the woman’s pleasure and the son’s tension was cut like butter facing a hot knife.
*RING*!
*RING*!
“...Is that the phone?” Ranma slowly asked, not daring to hope.
*RING*!
“OH KAMI DAMN IT!!” The woman cursed angrily, wondering who the hell would call her. For their sake they had BETTER have a good reason for interrupting her cleaning!
“Usagi...” Ami said slowly as she watched her friend use the Senshi Communicator in ways they were not meant to be: namely, a free cell phone. “What are you doing?”
“I’m using Mama’s old personal phone book from college, what does it look like?” the odango-haired, blue-eyed girl replied as she attempted another call.
Makoto rolled her eyes. “Usagi, you’ve been dialing numbers and getting shouted at all day. What is your deal?”
“Guys, I need a job!” the future queen of Crystal Tokyo cried. “Mama’s already told me since I didn’t get any scholarships, I’m not going to college unless I pay for it! I can’t afford college!!”
Sighing, the tall brunette genuinely felt bad for her friend. Still, Makoto shook her head as what the blonde was doing didn’t make sense! “All right, I understand the situation... but why are you calling your mom’s old contacts?”
Listening to the communicator ring a bit more, the Senshi of the Moon turned to face her tallest of friends. “I’m hoping that maybe ONE of them has a job opening and if they were friends with mom, they might take pity on her daughter,” Usagi explained how she was hoping to scam coerce explain her situation and have someone trust her to have a try at anything to do with making money and earning and honest wage.
She hoped this person was home. They were taking awhile to answer...
Growling like a dog being denied its bone—in a way, very true—Nodoka made her way down the stairs and towards the phone: her son had to be inconsiderate enough to use the guest bathroom on the second floor, after all!
Truthfully, she was also being denied the bone she sought, but that was another issue to bother those inconsiderate bastard gods with.
Finally coming upon a phone stand, the soaking wet woman in a now drenched kimono picked up the receiver and brought it to the right side of her head. “WHAT!?” she snarled. If this was a telemarketer, she didn’t know how but she was going to reach through the line and strangle them!!
The line was silent for a moment.
Nodoka was seeing red. “WELL!?”
It was then a nervous female voice spoke up. “Uh... h-hello?” the timid tone started. “Ah-am I speaking to Nodoka Kamiya?”
Flashback!
Well, Nodoka would blame it on ‘experimenting, all of the kids are doing it’ phase, but yes, she had a flashback to all the times she had been called that.
“Nodoka Kamiya, we do not kick boys there, even if we feel they are unmanly!”
“Nodoka Kamiya! We do not grab boys there, no matter if we are ‘the horny’!”
“Nodoka Kamiya! Have you been in my stash again?”
“Nodoka Kamiya! You can’t expect me to change your grade just because you’re flashing your tits!”
“Nodoka Kamiya! Let the Prom King go!”
“Nodoka Kamiya! This is not how we pledge to this sorority! And let my boyfriend go!”
“Nodoka Kamiya! I may be a Guidance Counselor and am here to listen, but there are some things you should tell NO ONE!”
“Nodoka Kamiya! You mean to say you ate ALL the “special” brownies?”
“Nodoka Kamiya! GET THE HELL OFF OF MY MAN!”
“Nodoka Kamiya! Just because our parents promised us to be together and he is not ‘technically’ my husband, does not mean you can try that with him!”
“Nodoka Kamiya! Please rise as the jury reads their verdict!”
Back in the present, the voice nervously continued, “Uh... hello? Am I speaking to Nodoka Kamiya” it wouldn’t be the first time she tried a number that no longer applied to the name listed.
The womanly blinked her eyes once, twice, feeling a lot calmer now that she had to remember the full name of her youth. “Oh, uh... yes. This is she,” she replied, raising her free hand to wipe away cold sweat. “I’m sorry but it’s been awhile since I went by that name. I’m Nodoka Saotome now. May I ask who’s calling?”
“Oh, yeah,” the voice started nervously. “Um... my name is Usagi Tsukino. You might not know me but my mother was known Ikuko Shiozaki... do you remember her?” the voice asked, the tone of the female’s voice becoming hopeful.
She fought it!
Really, she did!
Okay, in truth Nodoka reveled in it! After all, Ikuko was one of her major accomplishments!
And by ‘major’, she meant ‘too drugged up to testify or ask for royalties’.
Ah, yes; she remembered Ikuko! Dedicated to her promised husband, hairy cooch, always fell for a bit of Rophynol in her morning coffee brewed in their dorm room, and never asked questions about why her underwear was missing the morning after. “...Yes?”
Didn’t mean she couldn’t have become a squealer in her later years and blabbed to the cops! She remembered what happened with her roommate BEFORE Ikuko. Loose lipped-bitch who was now some Arab’s third wife...
Ah well, it still paid for Junior Year. Sacrifices had to be made, especially if they weren’t hers...
When there were no screams or formal charges immediately thrown her way, Nodoka relaxed. The woman smiled a little and expanded with, “Oh yes, dear. I remember your mother. She was my favorite roommate while we were in college. We were together in the same dorm for three years straight!” Mostly because the dorms were booked straight through and no one else would trade.
“Really? That’s great!” Usagi said happily. “And that is a co-in-ci... coinside... er...”
“COINCIDENCE, ODANGO HEAD!” another female voice shouted.
“Right!” the voice yelped. “It’s a coincidence you knew her in college. I’m trying to save up the money so I can go. Mama already told me she and dad aren’t going to spend a single Yen unless I can pick my grade up and MAYBE get a scholarship... well... I’ve only got a year and at this point, it would be easier to find a job. Do you know any leads?”
Even had she not been hornier than a grouping of rhinos—damn her biology teacher for being right and that she might need to know what a grouping of such would be called—she would have answered in the affirmative! After all, her manly son did—as soon as she told, him, anyway—have such a place where young girls with daddy issues could work.
Well, she assumed that last part. After all, who could Ikuko have married and not created daddy issues for any female spawn to develop?
“Oh yes, yes of course dear!” the Saotome Matriarch said excitedly. “My manly son, Ranma... he’s starting up a business venture soon! Why, we’re going tomorrow to check the building out and will be looking for employees very soon! Tell any and all of your lovely female friends. We’ll give you all an honest try-out! Why, if you or they have any daddy issues, it’s a plus in your court!”
The voice was silent for a moment. “...WOW! You hear that, Rei? They have a job for you too!”
“FUCK YOU!”
Nodoka smiled! Two girls with daddy issues!
“And Mako-chan’s daddy died when she was young! She’s had to raise herself!”
“Usag-chani!” a third mortified female voice shouted over the line.
Nodoka nearly squealed! Three girls with absent male paternal figures! “And do any of them have large busts, my dear?”
“Oh, no problem there! Mako-chan’s are HUGE! ”
“USAGI!!”
Yes... the numerous kami may have cock-blocked her, but they did doth offer a huge DD bonus.
“Oh! And let’s not forget my friend Ami,” Usagi continued. “Her parents are divorced and she’s had to live with her mother while her father enjoys his life!” she said excitedly. “And Minako’s folks... why they’re always on vacation out of the country, abandoning her!”
“...Wow...” a very gentle female voice spoke up. “I never thought of it that way but technically we DO have father issues.”
“Hey, I resemble that remark!” another female voice shouted. “I have my cat Artemis to keep me company!”
Nodoka had to force herself not to do the Snoopy Dance. After all, doing it wet, and in only a towel, was asking for trouble.
She now had five females of legal age—please, Kami-sama, let them be of legal age—wanting a job, jobs that she had now available at her son’s strip club.
Well, it was his when she told him... eventually... when she felt he was ready.
But could girls who had been ‘touched’ by her manly son strip? Well... for a few months, at least... and some guys loved that ‘nine months’ look.
“So...” Usagi carefully ventured to speak. “Is that a ‘yes’?”
Nodoka grinned from ear-to-ear. “Why of course my dear! I just need contact numbers so I can get ahold of you... cell phones, home phones...” she was opening the drawer of the phone stand, getting out the number pad and a pencil. Oh, she hoped she could get a chance to maybe talk to Ikuko again! She so missed that tasty little bitch!
Especially when she was hammered on ‘Jolly Ranchers’ and begging someone to stop licking her creamy center...
But who was so weak enough to get wasted on candy? Really!?
Oh wait! The girl was prattling off numbers now, despite the many shouts of other girls make up rather distracting background noise. “Uh-huh... uh-huh... uh-huh...” the mature woman mumbled as she continued to write names and associated phone numbers. “And you’re all of age, right?”
“Yep! We’re all seventeen and Mako-chan is eighteen!”
“Makoto is eighteen?” a curious voice asked. “Since when?”
“Hey! I was held back a year because my parents died, all right!?” a firm female voice snapped.
“Ri~iiiiight,” Nodoka stated, writing down numbers. “And this ‘Haruka’ girl?”
“Oh, she’s a lesbian, but she’s always flirting, promising to be faithful but always hitting on anyone...”
Nodoka nodded. Sounded like a fiancée... but missing something... like someone else who was crazier that would continue to make things difficult.
“Oh, and she’s in a steady relationship. Granted I don’t think either of them would strip but you could always call and ask! They even have another woman in their household, a Setsuna Meioh!”
That made Nodoka pause. Setsuna Meioh? No... it couldn’t be. That was the name of her college’s Guidance Counselor... damn bitch, always trying to keep her and Ikuko away from each other and mumbling something about crystals in Tokyo.
Nodoka frowned. She always hated that bitch. Obviously, smoking crystal meth or pot and never sharing! The Saotome Matriarch knew that Meioh had to be doing it! She was a Guidance Counselor!
However, from her scowl, a smile slowly developed. Turning two lesbians and screwing over her former guidance counselor?
How could she say no!?
The only way this could be perfect was if—
“And Haruka was recently complaining how her father was upset that they would never have any children...”
LOT... SOLD!!
“Oh yes,” Nodoka cooed. “I thank you very much for your assistance. I promise you, I’ll get in touch with everyone when the time for try-outs comes. Honest!” she practically giggled like a school girl. “Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to what I was doing before. But thank you for helping make my day!”
“No problem!” Usagi chirped happily. “And thank you very much for giving me this opportunity! I won’t let you down!”
Nodoka had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming, ‘I know you won’t’ before slowly hanging up the receiver.
Not only five possible girls, but one or two lesbians and possibly her old guidance counselor for her son to test his manliness on...
This would almost make up for the time her friend, Kaoih had to relent on their bet to try and hook up their children, simply because her daughter had ‘preferred kitty over doggy’.
Like that would stop Nodoka! Thanks to her son’s curse, it didn’t matter which end of the sausage they preferred, she would get her grandbabies; no matter what!
Not that any of the others would go that far! Kami knew that college Ikuko would have never stopped just because her child preferred outies to innies!
Luckily, it appeared their promise would be fulfilled, unless Ikuko was stupid enough to let her daughter date a useless man who claimed to be a reincarnated prince from a long dead kingdom...
But, really, what were the chances?
Nodoka smiled as she stood up straight. Ah yes! This was definitely a good day!!
Now... to get back to her manly son’s wonderful hands!!
*Ding-Dong*!
“...OH KAMI-SAMA DAMN IT!” Nodoka cursed as the doorbell rang. Why were the kami so intent to keep her from her manly son!?
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(Posted Tue, 17 May 2011 23:31)
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