[Episode 225884] [Episode 225884](Note: One scene here is inspired by a part of Ruskbyte's really funny Harry Potter fanfic Flying Without a Broom, which can be read here [it would be wise to register ahead of time before you actually dive into some of the stories posted there]. G)
"Hey, Tariko! Who's here?"
Tariko smirked as she looked over her shoulder. "It's just Ranma with her fiancée and some friends of theirs, Ataru," she called back as the front door of the Moroboshi home opened to reveal Ataru, now dressed casually in a pair of wide-leg track pants and a muscle shirt that showed off his well-exercised body. "They wanted to come by and see Lum and me. Hope you don't mind them visiting."
A chuckle. "Sure, no problem!"
Around Ranma, Hakufu and Hiromi, the other tôshi were blinking in surprise and shock on seeing Tariko — whom they knew (thanks to Hiromi) was actually Ataru Moroboshi transformed into a woman by the power of Jusenkyô — with a separate Ataru now walking up to join them. Before anyone could say anything about it, they all slightly tensed on hearing Kyech's soft voice echo in their minds: <<Do not be concerned. There is an explanation for this. Behave as this was to be expected.>>
As they — even the less experienced warriors like Kôkin, Kôdai and Ekitoku — had trained themselves to automatically react to sudden changes in a battle situation, the tôshi relaxed. "Well, isn't that nice of such a handsome man as this," Hôsen stated as she walked up to gently embrace him. "Such a noble man deserves a reward, ne?"
And she kissed him full on the lips as the others in the crowd whooped and cheered her on. After a moment, Hôsen pulled away, and then she hummed as her eyes trailed down his chest to a very prominent bulge in his trousers. "Oh, my! Such a manly reaction!" she whispered in delight as she moved away from him, her cheeks red with embarrassment as she clapped them. "I can't believe he finds me so beautiful!"
"On the contrary, madam," Ataru asserted with a raised finger. "You are not just beautiful! You are beyond beautiful! An icon of true womanhood! When Kami-sama made the mould for you, I know he threw the mould away since there is just no way possible that humble men such as I could stand the presence of TWO Shikuko-chans!" He then politely cleared his throat. "However, since I am a gentleman and I have ALWAYS acknowledged those who clearly wish to follow in the footsteps of the great poet Sappho, allow me to do this then."
He drew out a cape from mallet-space and whipped it over Hôsen, allowing her to emerge in a very formal ladies' tuxedo, complete with complementary rose on the lapel. A wave of the cape over Kôdai soon found her in a flowing wedding dress, complete with veil over her face and a bouquet of flowers in her hand. In a flash, everyone quickly formed into a wedding party around them as Ataru became the priest. As a still wide-eyed Shinobu watched in disbelief, Ataru stage-whispered to Hôsen, "Be careful with her, Shikuko-chan. Even if you've dated her, a wedding night is always very emotional."
"It'll be that way for me, too," Hôsen stated.
"True, true!" A cough, and then he pointed at Kôdai. "You do."
"I do?" the brown-haired tôshi asked, dizzy from what just happened.
Ataru then pointed to Hôsen. "You do, too."
"I do indeed," the aqua-haired senior said with a grin.
"Very well, then. As there can be no objections to this — since those stupid enough to object to this will no doubt find themselves pounded into protoplasm! — I hereby declare you husband…" — He pointed to Hôsen when he said this — "…and wife." Here, he pointed to Kôdai. "You may kiss the bride."
Hôsen quickly did that, which earned them both a chorus of cheers and whoops from the onlookers. After the "just married" couple broke apart and laughed at what happened, Hiromi then came up to stand beside her brother. "Ataru-san?"
He looked over. "What is it, Hiromi-chan?"
"Don't you think you should do that for Tariko-onêsan and Lum-san, too?"
Hearing that, Shinobu gaped as her eyes locked on the lovely reddish-blonde woman standing right beside Lum, holding her hand. As Ataru looked over at them, he then nodded. "Hai, Hiromi-chan, you're more than right. It's time for the curtain to finally fall on our wonderful play. The circus must finally leave town. But before we do that, though…" He then looked behind him. "KYECH!"
"There is no need to shout, Ataru. I'm right here."
Everyone gasped on seeing the Dragonspeaker now standing to Ataru's left. "Damn! She's really good at doing that sort of thing!" Ranma breathed out.
"You got that right, Ma-chan!" Hakufu groaned.
Kyech lightly smiled as she held up a small case. Ataru took it with a nod of thanks, and then he walked over to where Tariko and Lum were standing. The crowd shifted around as he opened the case, revealing a twin-chain necklace, both chains about sixty centimetres long. They were linked together by two heart-shaped pendants made of gold, both joined at the base by a very thin strand of metal, both hearts topped with ruby jewels. Gently drawing it out of the case, Ataru then handed the empty case to Ranma before moving to wrap both necklaces around Tariko's neck. Once that was done, Ataru then kissed Tariko's cheek. "Take care of her, Tariko. She's special."
"I've long known that," Tariko admitted with a blush…
"Hey, Shinobu! What's wrong?"
"Shinobu-san? Are you alright?"
"Hey! What's going on here, anyway?!"
Shinobu blinked, and then she looked left to see the members of Lum's Stormtroopers walk up towards her, and then she looked right to see Shûtarô Mendô and Ran Aruka approach from the other direction. "Everyone…!"
"Hey! Look there!" Chibi then cried out as he pointed.
Eyes snapped over to the front lawn of the Moroboshi home. "What on…?" Mendô began, and then his eyes widened on seeing three familiar alien women standing there, all close to Ataru Moroboshi. "MOROBOSHI!" he howled as he snap-drew a katana — a spare one he had forged after Ataru had destroyed his personal weapon two weeks before — and charged. "HOW DARE YOU…?!"
A blast of icy cold later saw Mendô, Ran and the Stormtroopers trapped in ice, all now unable to move even though their heads were in the clear so they could breathe. "I think not," Oyuki stated as she and Benten walked up to gaze upon them. "This time, you won't be allowed interrupt Lum-chan's wedding to Tariko-chan."
"Yeah!" Benten said with a laugh. "Lucky thing we're doing it Noukiite style!"
Ran yelped. "'NOUKIITE STYLE?!'"
"Why of course, Ran-chan," the Neptunian said as she gazed knowingly at her former middle school classmate. "After all, when the promise never to be broken is made, it is made between the promised mates. No outsider can voice an objection."
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Megane screamed out. "WEDDING?! WHAT WEDDING?! WE'RE NOT GOING TO ALLOW LUM-SAN TO GET MARRIED! AND WHO'S TARIKO?!"
Oyuki perked. "Oh, my! That's right. You've never met Lum-chan's lover, have you?" She looked over. "Tariko-chan! Could you come over here, please!"
Tariko tensed on hearing the Neptunian's shout, and then she walked over to join her. "What is it, Oyuki-chan?" she asked before she gazed contemptuously on the six people frozen in the block of ice on the street beyond the Moroboshi family property. "Oh, my!" she then mock-gasped as she clapped her cheeks in fright. "If it isn't the rich idiot, the backstabbing airhead and the four traitors to the human race!" She had glared at Mendô, then Ran, and then the Stormtroopers as she said that. "Nice try," she said as she turned her back to them and walked away. "Nobody takes MY girl away from ME!" And with that, she headed over to rejoin the crowd around Ataru and Lum.
Silence.
"She's…?" Kakugari whimpered.
"…Lum-chan's…?" Perm gasped.
"…LOVER?!" Megane screamed out in disbelief.
"Hai!" Oyuki said with a smile.
More silence.
"Lum-san is a…?" Mendô croaked out, his face white as a sheet.
"…dyke?" Ran finished, her eyes wide with stunned shock.
Oyuki tensed on hearing that word, and then her eyes narrowed. She didn't move fast enough to beat Benten, however, who smashed Ran in the face and broke her nose. "DON'T BE SO FUCKIN' INSULTING, YOU IDIOT!" the Fukunokami snarled as she pulled back.
Ran screamed out in pain and rage, and then she glared at Benten before Oyuki's power lashed out to cover her head in solid ice. Once that was done, Benten nodded before she glared at Lum's five most passionate otaku here on Earth. "Yeah, Lum's a lesbian! Has always been one! Moroboshi there…" — She pointed to Ataru in emphasis as Tariko rejoined the group — "…has been more than happy to cover for her ever since she came here and met Tariko, then they became lovers." She then smirked. "And there ain't shit that any of you dorks can do to stop it!"
"Hey! Benten-san! Oyuki-sama! We're starting!" Ataru yelled as he waved at them.
"Right!" Benten said as she ran over.
Oyuki herself turned to leave, and then stopped before she raised her hand. Before Mendô or the Stormtroopers could react, they found their mouths frozen in ice. "Under Noukiite law and tradition, no objections can be voiced when a promise oath is made," she stated. "And with the presence of the Ladies Kachnuk, Kingch'eng, K'ekhech and Ekpuo here, this will ensure the legality of this moment will respected not just in the Imperial Dominion of Noukiios but everywhere else in the galaxy and beyond!" A smile. "But I doubt neither Lum-chan nor Tariko-chan would like the idea of listening to you fools scream out in some vain hope of putting a stop to this. So sit back and watch." She turned her head away. "As your fantasies finally die."
With that, she walked off, ignoring the faint moans from the five men in question. By then, everyone had formed something of a prayer circle around Tariko and Lum. Oyuki took her place to the right of Kuohu, who flanked Ataru with Kyekkyek. At'at'at' had also come out to join them; she was now standing beside Kyech, who stood on the opposite end of the circle from Kuohu and her adopted sister. Once everyone was in place, Oyuki, as the senior-ranking (by Noukiite custom) person present, coughed politely before she gazed on the person to her left. "Lady Kachnuk?"
Kuohu looked over, bowing politely. "Crown Princess Oyuki?"
"I humbly wish to make a request on behalf of my beloved friend, the Crown Princess Lum of the House of Redet of the planet Uru, unto you, a free warrior and loyal servant of Her Imperial Majesty, the Empress of Noukiios."
"And that request is?"
"That when my friend makes the oath never to be broken to her beloved, that Her Imperial Majesty will extend her protection over her from those who would seek to turn my friend into some living icon for their dark dreams." Oyuki scowled as she added, "Here on Terra. On Phentax Two and her colonies. And on Uru and her colonies."
A nod. "So be it. It will be done, Crown Princess." A bow, and then Kuohu turned to gaze on Tariko and Lum. "Venerable Tariko, most honoured and beloved friend to all of the Flower Youth of Noukiios, this woman here seeks your hand in eternal matrimony and desires to take the promise never to be broken with you." She waved to Lum with her free hand; her other hand held the Frost Blood Blade. "Will you, as an eligible woman under the customs and laws given to us through the centuries and millennia from the age of the Ch'uoeuk when he lived his mortal life amongst our ancestors, honour her desire?"
Tariko smiled as she reached down to gently grasp Lum's hands in her own. "She took my heart and my soul long ago when we first met, dear friend. She takes my soul even now. I swore the promise never to be broken in my heart and soul a long time ago."
"Will you swear it now before us all?" Kuohu demanded.
"So I will."
With that, Tariko let go of Lum's hands, and then undid one of the chains around her neck, holding the ends of it in the open. Lum leaned in, ducking her head as Tariko moved to lock the chain on the back of her neck. Now so bound by the chains, both reached up to grasp the sides of the heart pendants, gazing into each other's eyes.
"I, Tariko Moroboshi, give myself to you, Lum Redet, without restraint, hesitation or condition…" Tariko vowed, and then she reached up to gently cover the Oni's horns with her hands. "My heart — my soul — all of me — of my free and unburdened will — to you and only you, from this day unto the day we face the Ch'uoeuk at the Pool of Reincarnation for the judgement that awaits us at the end of our time of this life." She pulled her hands back to touch her side of the joined promise pendant. "You took me to the Heavens and beyond when I first laid eyes on you, my beautiful, eternal Oni-chan. Take me there again and I will forever be with you."
"I, Lum Redet, give myself to you, Tariko Moroboshi, without restraint, hesitation or condition…" Lum vowed, and then she reached up with her hands to touch her lover's cheeks. "My heart — my soul — all of me — of my free and unburdened will — to you and only you, from this day unto the day we face the Ch'uoeuk at the Pool of Reincarnation for the judgement that awaits us at the end of our time of this life." She then pulled her hands back to touch her side of the joined promise pendant. "You have sacrificed so much for me without being asked for anything in return, my dearest, beloved Darling. How can I say no to you now?"
There is not a dry eye around them as both tensed their hands to snap the soft metal holding the two parts of the promise necklace in place. Even the four Noukiites, who had witnessed promised bondings with friends and strangers many times before, were moved. On seeing the pendant break into its individual parts, Kuohu nodded as she hoisted the Frost Blood Blade high into the air and protectively over the newlyweds' heads. "So we have witnessed, so it is done!" she asserted. "The Venerable Tariko Moroboshi and the Princess Lum Redet are united, one and whole, from now until the day they face the Ch'uoeuk at the Pool of Reincarnation for His Judgement. I, Seu-Euch Yesu-A Hechnich'-Kachnuk, do declare this to be true and will affirm it to my dying breath!"
Kyekkyek and then At'at'at' rose their weapons — the latter's was a beautiful taiken-shaped, single-edged sword that seemed quite small and slender in comparison to the halberd and polearm carried by the ones who proceeded her — and declared their affirmation as to what they had just witnessed. Then, in a flash of light, the Cleaver of the Heavens appeared in Kyech's hand. She then allowed it to form a tent of weapons over the newlyweds. A bolt of lightning then struck down from the skies to strike the Cleaver at the tip of the spear separating the blades of the axe, and then dispersed into a shower of light over them all. Unbothered by the jolt of electricity that just struck her through her weapon, Kyech simply said, "It is done." As everyone gazed on her, she smiled. "I believe we can now say this, Lum: You may kiss the bride."
"Tcha!" Lum said as she did so amid everyone's cheers…
As the impromptu celebration broke out on the front lawn of the Moroboshi home, Shinobu remained in place, a neutral look on her face. She ignored the muffled moans of the five men still trapped in the ice to her right, not to mention the grunts and hissed vows of vengeance from the lone alien girl amongst them as she turned around to walk away from the Moroboshi home, heading directly to her own home.
Lum had called Tariko "Darling."
Lum had only ever called Ataru "Darling."
Now, even if it was a cover for a hidden relationship beyond the view of anyone in Tomobiki or beyond, that one thing made her wonder.
Especially now that she knew something else.
Lum was friends with Ranma Saotome.
Could that mean…?
Tariko…?
Ataru…?
…one and the same?
A sigh. She could turn back. March right back and try to confront Tariko and Lum about all of this. Try to finally get the truth now that the last hour of her life had totally recast the events of the last year and more into a whole new and different light. Even if the just-married couple were now surrounded by the greatest martial artist of his generation, nine deadly human killing machines from the seven most feared schools in all of Kantô, and four visitors from a world that was far more powerful than what anyone in Tomobiki had confronted to date, she could still…
Or could she?
Without warning, Kuohu's words from earlier came back to her hard:
"…You try to bash him down again so you could feel you were in control of everything around you. Just like all the other monsters Ataru has had to deal with who've flown out of the shadows to beat him down…"
A shudder raced through her. If she did anything that threatened to expose what had really been going on between Tariko — Ataru? — and Lum, whatever chance she had of trying to forge some sort of reconciliation with the man — woman? — she still deeply loved and cared for would be dashed once and for all.
And if that happened…
If it happened…!
Shaking her head, Shinobu headed off, ignoring the muffled pleas of help and the grumbles of vengeance from her trapped schoolmates behind her while we…
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(Posted Sat, 03 Oct 2009 21:08)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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