"Are you sure you'll be able to pull this off Ranma? I mean, this won't be easy."
It was a simple enough question, perfectly reasonable given the circumstances. There were two potential problems to the plan; either Ranma couldn't pull it off and his mother figured out something was up, or he did it too well and his mother found out about the curse later on for separate reasons. The first was salvageable, the second disastrous. Just then she felt a tap on her shoulder. In response she made the mistake of turning around to face Ranma and-
Her emotional state could be described as conflicted just then. Jealousy at Ranma's ability to so perfectly and effortlessly impersonate a pretty and adorable girl; this was countered by a very strong urge to hug her and kiss her and squeeze her with all her heart and be such a great friend and... for reasons that escaped Akane for the time being, call her George. The final feeling she was having was a reaction to the last and can be best summarized as "Oh my god, this is how Azusa feels all the time"
"Akaaaneee!" Ranma squealed, clearly enjoying the reaction she was getting as she balled her hands beneath her chin and twisted girlishly. "S-stop looking at me like that!"
The spell broken, Akane glowered at her. "Save it for your mother, idiot. And you don't need to be quite so... cutesy with her."
"Oh, sure. You would be the one to complain about me being too cute."
A few seconds later, in the Tendo's front corridor, Nabiki looked down. "Hello, Ranma. I take it Akane found you then? Or have you taken to making a flying leap on returning home these days?"
Ranma rolled back onto her feet. "Yeah, the TOMBOY found me alright! She told me about my mom and everything."
Nabiki leaned back against the wall and raised an eyebrow. "So what's the plan? Stay a girl, pass yourself off as someone else, or introduce yourself as yourself and hope for the best?"
"He's staying girl, until we can figure something long run out," Akane explained as she strode into the corridor with a carefully controlled calmness.
"Hah! He gets squirmy when cute girls get too close to him. I'm not sure his mother's going to find that very, uh, where's he heading?"
The sisters watched Ranma stagger out of the room, appearing thoughtful yet cross. Akane waited until she was out of view before explaining.
"Well, earlier at the Uchan's, he walked in on Tsubasa and Azusa having - doing, uh... You know."
After a moment of consideration, Nabiki broke out into laughter. "Is that all that's eating him? Hah! This is perfect. I can't wait to make fun of him for this!"
"Hold on, there's something else."
"Oh, this gets better."
It really didn't.
Nabiki was aware at an intellectual level of the pink elephant problem. The more you try to prevent yourself from imagining a pink elephant, the more prominently and vividly it comes to mind. As such, she should have let the horrifying mental image in with open arms and then gone off to think about something else. Perhaps read a book, watch television (always a good way to kill the thinking process), or find a sturdy surface to beat her head off of. Instead as a self defensive instinct her mind kept trying to reject the incoming thought and it kept coming back bigger and more vivid and horrifying than before. Each time she dared think to herself "it couldn't possibly be worse than that" and each time her own mind betrayed her. Over and over and over again. It was like the giggle loop, except ending in her rushing to the bathroom instead of humiliating herself with a great big laugh.
When she returned, she looked Akane dead in the eyes, and said "We have to kill Mousse." To this, her sister only nodded in agreement.
"So, tell me more about my son," Nodoka said, trying not to seem too eager, but failing spectacularly. It was only the twentieth time the question had been asked, not that Kasumi was counting.
"I'm not sure what else I really can say about him. Honestly, you really should talk to Akane about this, I don't talk to him nearly as much as-"
"Oh, but surely there's something else you can tell me. Please? It's been so long since I laid eyes on him, anything you can tell me would be a comfort at this point."
"W-well, there was this one time he, ah! That's right. There was this one time during dinner, when Ranma distracted his father by pointing out a Leprechaun that had appeared behind him."
"And? Then what happened?"
"Genma chased the little green imp all over the garden trying to grab that pot of gold he was lugging around. It turned out to be a fancy bowl of stale, oddly shaped marshmallows mixed with cereal. Meanwhile, Ranma ate the rest of Genma's dinner."
"Oh, how manly of him! A hearty appetite tells me so much about him!"
Kasumi carefully controlled her smile as she always did, while Nodoka continued her speech about the importance of a healthy appetite. They were almost home now. Hopefully this rant would last her long enough to divert all this attention onto Akane, and...
Two girls skipped by them just then, hand in hand. The grin on their faces managed to be simultaneously creepy and adorable, and both Kasumi and Nodoka stopped to stare at them as they skipped by.
"Does it... does it taste saccharine to you?"
"Yes, I... Yes."
What a day. What else could possibly go wrong?
Hours later, Soun and Genma thought they were safe. They'd used Happosai as an excuse to escape Akane's cooking while they went bar-hopping, but the truth was that the old freak had also fled when they'd learned she was cooking. The pair had spent the evening planning and plotting and scheming, but now it was midnight and they had to go home.
"I tells you Saotome, that wife ah yours could reeeeeally mesh up our plansh."
"My wife? How'd ya find out about th' Sheppoku thingy?"
"Ish a shecret! Which remindsh me. I gotsh to do thish oooone tiny little thing later on..."
And then they were suddenly and horribly sobered up by a bucket of ice cold water being dumped on both of them simultaneously. Just to make sure their attention was well and truly gotten, an explosion occurred right between the two of them which felt like it shattered their ear drums.
"So! This is what the two so called students of mine do with their time off, eh? Go out drinking, pollute your bodies and cloud your minds!"
Happosai leaped down off the roof, and glowered angrily at the pair of them. "And neither of you thinks to invite ME! Come on! Obviously, the two of you need a good solid night of training!"
"B-but Master..."
"But Master nothing! Come on! Grab a bag and start grabbing panties!"
Soun looked at a clock then, sober at last. Just past midnight. It was the next day, just as the spirit had informed him. Did it have to be so literally "tomorrow"? His head felt like someone had poured liquid pain into it and then set it to boil. He remembered his instructions. At the balcony of the third house he would find something on the floor. He had to pick it up and drop it at the fourth house.
"Hurry up, Soun! Time's a wasting!"
Soun would have lamented the things he had to do for his future son in law, but then he realized two crucial facts. Happosai would make him do this anyway, and this was probably the first thing he'd really done for Ranma. With a sigh, he leaped up into the night, landing on a nearby roof with gentle ease. The rushing of cold air made him grimace in pain, but he didn't have any choice but to move on.
Soon enough, he found himself staring down at the third balcony. He could see the item there, on the floor... But how could something like that possibly have any kind of effect? It looked innocent enough. And why at the fourth house? No time for questions, so he bent down and picked up the object...
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(Posted Fri, 29 Jan 2010 08:10)
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