"Uh... what?" said most of the class.
"Could you explain exactly what you mean by that?" demanded Akane, who was a little put off by seeing their homeroom teacher have a meltdown.
"Tatewaki Kuno managed to piss off at least one Greek god," explained the teacher. "I'm familiar with the Greek mythos. That was Pluto, lord of the undead, not exactly known for having a sense of humor. If he said he's going to throw 'disasters' at Kuno, we're ALL of us in the crossfire! Earthquakes, floods, fire and ash from the sky, volcanoes, typhoons, meteors, herds of man-eating sheep, and whatever else a Greek god could come up with!"
Ukyo had no idea where the idea came from, she just knew of the rightness of the feel of it. "So, you're saying that if Tatewaki Kuno were to suddenly die - the rest of Japan would be safe?"
There was a sudden silence following that remark.
Slowly the teacher got up from where he'd been cursing fate, an odd gleam in his eyes. "You know. That might just work."
Ranma blinked as he realized suddenly all the non-martial artists in the classroom started pumping out intent-to-kill.
"What's he yelling out there?" asked Akane, looking for something else to concentrate on and finding it with Kuno standing on the school's gates.
"Behold, for I, the great and noble Tatewaki Kuno have driven off the foul cur who dared to threaten this edifice of learning," proclaimed Tatewaki Kuno to the heavens. He brandished his bokken skyward. "Indeed, I am truly the favored of the heavens and defender of the principles of Japan. The gods themselves acknowledge my superiority!"
FSHHHHT THUNK!
Tatewaki Kuno looked at his feet where an arrow had dropped from the sky. An arrow with a note attached. Frowning, he plucked the note off the shaft to read what message had been sent him.
"WHAT JEST IS THIS?!" declared Tatewaki Kuno. "What base trickery is this? What manner of fool doth seek to mock the pillar of righteousness that is the noble Blue Thunder?"
FSHHHHT THUNK!
Tatewaki Kuno plucked this arrow out of the ground and broke it, then shredded the message. "There! The reputation of the noble Blue Thunder is such that trivial efforts like this -"
FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK! FSHHHHT THUNK!
Tatewaki Kuno began laying about himself with the bokken, shattering arrows and shredding notes. Finally, he panted and gasped for air amongst a cloud of splinters and scrap paper. "See! If this were truly involving a note from heavenly Amaterasu herself, a love note mayhap, such measures would be insuff-"
POOOM!
Hundreds of thousands of notes abruptly dumped down on the school, then millions.
"The windows are covered by paper," said Akane, looking out and only seeing notes.
"This one says 'Moron'," said Ranma, looking at one of the notes.
"This one says 'Conceited Lout'," said Sayuri with another note.
"We're trapped!" said Yuka. "If the paper is past the level of our window, there's no way we can leave school!"
"Nah," pointed out Ranma. "I can see light up there. Should be able to just go to the roof and climb down that way."
"Oh," said the teacher. "Well then. Automatic passing grade to whoever saves Japan by killing Tatewaki Kuno?"
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(Posted Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:44)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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