It could have started with fire and lightning. It could have been foreshadowed by a rumble of thunder, the quaking of the earth, or the buzz of a single insect which preceded the swarm.
Instead it was a single phone ringing.
"Emperor's Palace?" asked an uncertain chief-of-staff. Mainly uncertain because the phone was hanging in midair and in a room not wired for phone. "Yes? Yes? I see. Who? I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch- Of course. Yes, I understand. Who? Ah. I shall indeed tell him."
The Emperor of Japan, the Empress, the Princess, and a large number of hangers-on and functionaries listened on. None of whom were stupid and all of whom knew that such a thing happening would have complications thrust into various routines.
"I'll tell him," said the chief-of-staff, hanging up the phone which vanished the moment he did so.
"Well?" asked the Emperor.
"It was from Amaterasu," said the chief-of-staff.
"Amaterasu Omikami?" asked the Emperor, wanting this point clarified immediately.
"The same," said the chief-of-staff. "She wants to bring your attention to a family by the name of Kuno, whom she states as 'indicative of the rot inflicting some of our noble houses' and requests that you DO something about them."
"Kuno?" asked the Emperor, his gaze flicking to a courtier.
The Imperial Genealogist was both nervous about being called on, and ecstatic at actually being of use. "Most likely referencing the Nerima Kuno family. Descended from a minor samurai family that was briefly flourishing just before the Disarmament. Accused by three other families of making a pact with demons so that even severe wounds would heal within minutes. Largely dysfunctional, all members of the family seem to have some form of dementia or at least a bizarre obsession."
"Pardon, Your Radiance," said the chief-of-staff after the Genealogist paused. "She said she'll be visiting in three days to review how you handled 'pruning this noble tree of its contagion of nuts before it spreads any further' - those were her exact words. She also mentioned something about some 'personal insult' done her by some Tittywacker."
"Excuse me?" asked the Emperor, eyes wide.
"Well, she was mumbling the name, almost growling, sounded quite vexed," explained the chief-of-staff.
"Very well," said the Emperor, immediately making decisions within his limited amount of influence. "See if the family can be stripped of its noble titles. There are some precedents there we can make use of."
"At once, sir," said the Imperial Chief Historian.
"Have a tax audit done on the Kuno family, go back about two hundred years," said the Emperor. "We have enough pull in the Tax Bureau that a few whispers in the ear should do the job."
"My pleasure, sir," said the Imperial Representive Of Finance.
"If they ARE psychologically unfit, perhaps a full medical and psychological exam would be helpful," put in the Empress.
"Oh, I think that can be arranged," said the Imperial Surgeon-General.
"There was one thing more, Your Radiance," said the chief-of-staff. "Apparently there are several disasters heading towards Furinkan, and Amaterasu wanted to let you know about possible containment. She also said that there was a hero in the area who could possibly help deal with them on-site, but that he was relatively inexperienced and perhaps not the wisest of fellows."
"That follows certain myths and legends as well, doesn't it?" asked the Emperor.
"As well as both shonen and shojo manga plotlines," mused the Princess.
"What is the name of this neophyte hero?" asked the Empress.
"Ranma Saotome, Your Radiance," said the chief-of-staff.
"Urk," said Ranma as he helped someone else over the roof of the building onto the almost-mountain of signs and letters and scrolled messages that had buried the school.
"You're not indicating I'm heavy are you?" asked Akane, her eyes indicating the answer should be negative.
"Nah," said a distracted Ranma. "I just got this sudden feeling of doom and trouble and unwanted responsibility being thrown at me by an annoyed goddess."
"Thought you'd be used to it by now," commented Akane as she made her way slowly down the slope.
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(Posted Fri, 15 Jan 2010 20:05)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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