"Wha?! Where?" asked Naruto, pretty much out of his element.
"Tea, Earl Grey, cold!" said Toltiir, wondering if anyone ever figured out who kept setting all the tea-servers to only produce Earl Grey tea with ice.
"What? Cold tea?" asked Naruto, making a face after seeing the beverages appear out of nowhere.
"Oh very well," said the cat of chaos, making an adjustment to the holographic menu.
"Okay," said Naruto as his cold cup of black tea became a hot cup of green tea. "Well, uhm."
"Let's see," said the cat, paw-waving a holographic display that showed Naruto at three different ages.
"AHHH! Why have you got nude pictures of me?!" asked Naruto, looking wildly around at the crowds that were apparently still ignoring them.
"These are just representations of you, like a bunshin image," explained Toltiir. "That way I can show you what changes would be brought about by having a particular blood limit. Ages eight, twelve, and seventeen."
"But, I mean," stammered Naruto.
"Okay, let's see," mused Toltiir. "I've already done the change-into-beasts-with-all-their-abilities thing. Same with the teleporting. What else should I try?"
"You mean you can do it?" asked Naruto.
"Easy peezy lemon squeezie," replied the cat. "I could have you adopted into an established clan by order of the Third Hokage the day after your birth. How'd you like to be a Hyuga or an Inuzuka?"
"Err, no thanks, having Kiba as a brother would be kind of creepy," said Naruto. "And his mother is REAL scary."
"How about a Haruno? Would it make things go easier if you were Sakura's brother?" asked Toltiir.
"Nah, I think she'd just pound me more," said Naruto. "If I had a blood limit though, I might be able to manage better this time around."
"Rinnegan? No, too obvious," said Toltiir. "Oh, how about the 'Akira Inugami' special?"
"Oh, I like the bigger and tougher look," said Naruto as he looked over the various stages.
"And this is with the 'blood limit' active," said Toltiir.
Naruto stared. "Okay. Maybe not that."
"The Inuzuka family would love it," pointed out Toltiir.
"Yeah, I'm sure, I'm just not so sure anyone else wouldn't run screaming for the horizon," pointed out Naruto.
"Perhaps," said the kitty, acknowledging the point with a flick of his ears. "Well, there's always Haku's icy bloodline."
"That could be cool," admitted Naruto.
"Two points," said the cat with a nod of his head.
"Thank you," said Naruto by reply.
"Maybe uprated regenerative capabilities," said Toltiir, reverting the images before changing them again. "Being able to heal from almost any injury within minutes would be VERY useful in your line of work."
"Yeah, but I dunno," said Naruto. "The fox in me already gives me some healing talents."
"Not like this," said Toltiir. "But okay. What do you think, Foxy?"
"Don't call me that," growled the Ninetails, the voice issuing from somewhere around Naruto's belly.
"Oh bother, I preferred it when you were a cultured British-sounding fox wearing a topcoat and monocle," grumped Toltiir. "Much classier."
The Kyuubi growled, but then came up with a suggestion. "Taller."
"Eh?" asked Naruto.
"Simple enough, whelp. You get taller eventually, but you go off playing 'tank' and charging into battles. A tank needs more mass and height. Uprated strength and speed would be good. And would it be too much to ask if you learned a decent style of taijutsu?"
"HEY! I'm pretty good at taijutsu!" said Naruto.
"Pfeh. Compared to that ninjutsu-less boy? Compared to the Hyuga family? Compared to whom exactly? Oh, you're better than you were, but you're hardly a taijutsu specialist."
"Well-" admitted Naruto.
"If I've got to be stuck inside some whelp, is it too much to ask that you be Hell On Two Feet in the battlefield? Is that really too much to ask?"
"Even a Ninetailed Demon Fox has pride," pointed out Toltiir to Naruto.
After a few minutes of back and forth, a compromise was reached:
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(Posted Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:58)
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