Nabiki stared blankly into space as Ranma pulled back from her lips, yawned, and curled up in her lap. Ranma kissed me? In public!? This was bad. This could kill her reputation. This was wonderful. This was happy. Everyone knew she wanted Ranma. She'd never command the same kind of respect if she was a lovestruck girlfriend! Come on, girl, if you don't do something right fucking now you'll never recover!
Nabiki found her voice and modulated it into the cool undertones of her persona. "Okay he's calm for the moment," she said. "Clear out before he wakes up. Hiroshi, Daisuke, get the nurse." She turned back to Ranma and waited a heartbeat before glancing up. Unsurprisingly, no one had moved. "Did I misspeak?" she hissed.
This event later won a world record for fastest dispersal of a crowd of teenagers, beating out the senior circuit beauty pageant "Toothless Trollops" by 0.73 seconds. (Miss Hip Replacement's talent performance retains its record for decibel rating in the "Cannot Be Unseen" category)
Nabiki breathed a bit more easily. "Ranma, the next few days are going to be interesting," she muttered.
"Mew?"
"Nevermind."
"He did WHAT!?"
Nabiki felt a migraine growing in the back of her skull. There was only one person capable of putting that much venom into a single word.
Akane brushed her hands off as she left the gym. Kuno wasn't bothering her anymore; he had too many things on his mind to worry about. Things like his feet, arms, buttocks, and the question of how to depretzelify himself.
Akane smiled. She was getting better at controlling her temper. Kuno wouldn't have to buy a plane ticket back to Japan this time. "Now, where did Ranma get to?" she wondered aloud.
That was when she was nearly run over by a stampede of students. She bounced around her oblivious peers, ready to slug anyone who so much as looked at her wrong. Fortunately, they were too busy gossiping to be perverted.
"...but does it really count?"
"...can't believe he really..."
"...you see her face..."
"...kissed the Ice Queen!"
Akane missed a step in shock and collided with a girl. "Sayuri!" she cried, relieved. "What's going on? Did something happen to Nabiki?"
"Ranma kissed her!" Sayuri blurted.
Akane saw red.
Nabiki watched Akane come running. "PERVERT!" she screamed, a mallet in both hands. She swung, and Nabiki reacted. A hexagonal field formed in the middle of the mallet's swing as Nabiki gestured to form the barrier spell.
Nabiki's triumph was short lived as the barrier shattered under the unimpeachable force of righteous tomboy fury. The mallet connected with Ranma with enough force to send the catboy into unconsciousness.
Nabiki gave Akane a cold look. "Akane."
"Get away so I can hurt him for hurting you!"
"Akane."
Akane looked at Nabiki. She knew her sister well, and knew that she was looking at an anger that rivaled, if not surpassed, her own. Well, good! The pervert deserved it! "What?"
"You are going to go away now," Nabiki said calmly. "And at dinner you are going to apologize to Ranma."
The fire in Akane's mind vanished and her stomach folded on itself. Nabiki was supposed to be mad at the pervert boy who took advantage of her! "Did Ranma do something to you when he possessed you?" she whispered.
Nabiki twitched. "Akane, you're starting to sound like Kuno."
Akane opened her mouth and closed it again. The phrase "Kuno could be right" was a bridge too far. Something was seriously wrong with the situation if that was a reasonable line of thought.
Nabiki watched Akane try and puzzle that out. "Now if you'd be so kind to help me get Ranma to some cold water? That should snap him out of it."
Akane frowned. "Why? And out of what?"
Nabiki sighed. "Do you really want to discuss spiritual metaphysics here?"
The three girls were headed home from school. Akane was carrying questions, Nabiki was carrying Ranma's clothes, and Ranko was carrying nothing.
Akane scratched her head. "So that wasn't just Ranma being crazy?"
Nabiki snorted. "That fat fool actually taught Ranma the technique; he just didn't realize it. Then he tortured him into being unable to cope with it so much that...neko-phobia."
"I don't think it's called that," Akane mused.
"I'm supposed to be a dictionary? You know what I mean."
"So what'd I do anyway?" Ranko asked. Akane shied away from the unseen voice.
Nabiki tapped at her fingers as she added it all up. "Stage, floor, tree, grounds...they'll get it taken care of under a half-million yen easy."
Ranko choked -- an interesting sensation since she didn't have the organs needed to have a choke reflex. "Half a million!?"
"Well you blew apart the stage, shredded the gym floor, and used a tree as a scratching post. Gosunkugi's getting blamed for it, though," Nabiki added.
Akane frowned. "Why him?"
Nabiki grinned and held up a tape. "Evidence that he was behind it." Another tape. "A collection of every shot of him in a dress he gave me. If he tries this again, I ruin him."
Ranko frowned and looked Nabiki over. "Nabs, is that a good idea?"
Nabiki scowled. "He used my name and hurt my friends. This isn't about money, this isn't blackmail. This is about justice."
Ranko nodded slowly. "If you say so," she said, sounding unconvinced.
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(Posted Fri, 12 Mar 2010 04:35)
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