"What the FUCK is going on here?!"
The crowd all froze on hearing that quiet yet icy voice.
Shinobu — who had been tempted to slam the nearest heavy object right into Kanzaki Ryūha's head for making poor Hiromi CRY like that — turned to look…
…and then she grinned on seeing the two people standing nearby.
Both of whom had the silver magatama of A-rank tōshi hanging off their left ear.
Even better, Shinobu recognised them both.
Ryofu Hōsen, third-year student of Rakuyō Senior High School in Tōkyō. At last report, rank Number #2 on the list of all tōshi in Kantō.
Ryomō Shimei, third-year student of the Nan'yō Academy in Kimitsu in Chiba-ken. At last report, she was ranked Number #8 on the list of most powerful tōshi.
Translation: Two people you NEVER wanted to piss off under ANY circumstances.
"Hōsen-sempai. Shimei-sempai," Ataru's former girlfriend then said with a polite nod. "How nice of you to show up. Welcome to Tomobiki. It appears that certain traitors to the human race seem to think it's their right to heap all sorts of undeserved abuse and scorn on an innocent person!" She contemptuously jerked her chin towards Ryūha, who had froze on hearing the Nan'yō senior — perhaps one of the most well-known tōshi given the medicinal patch she wore over her left eye and her love of close-in wrestling manoeuvres to take down her opponents — call out. "Especially since this innocent person here…" — she waved to Hiromi — "…was given her life through the efforts of my former boyfriend Moroboshi Ataru six months ago…after being literally FROZEN in the magatama she wears now for 1,821 years."
As many of the crowd around them gasped on hearing that — and Ryūha felt the blood drain from his skin as he realised that Shinobu was about to unleash the hounds on Hell on him — Ataru's former girlfriend then added, "Having NEVER lived her own life as your souls have done over the last eighteen centuries since the Three Kingdoms era."
"You mean…she's not some version of Ataru?"
Chigaiko shook her head at the question that had just been asked by her own elder sister Fuchiko; the Butsumetsu High School senior had deployed her gang out on the street to make sure those who would try to seek retribution — Retribution?! For actually SAVING ALL OF EARTH from that selfish Oni?! she railed on thinking about that — for what Ataru unleashed on Lum a week before on Hiromi — who hadn't even BEEN ON EARTH at the time it all went down! — would be put into the hurt locker themselves. "No. The man we all knew as 'Moroboshi Ataru' — up to six months ago — was actually an AMALGAM of FOUR SEPARATE SOULS!" She then gazed on the two visiting tōshi, waving to Hiromi. "One of which was — as you can see from the magatama she's now wearing — a peer of Master Fèngxiān and Master Zǐmíng."
The two women blinked — both of them actually surprised on hearing Chigaiko address their past-selves by their proper style-names in Mandarin — and then they exchanged looks for a moment before the visitor from Rakuyō walked over to kneel in front of the wet-faced Hiromi. "Forgive me…but who were you?"
Ataru's adopted sister took a deep breath. "I was Liú Hóng, Hōsen-dono."
Silence.
More silence.
Still more silence.
And then…
"Reitei-sama…?!"
Both visiting tōshi were wide-eyed with shock and disbelief.
"Hai…!" Hiromi breathed out as she turned to gaze upon them as she tried to smile at them. "I must confess, it does my heart well to see such worthies as you…alive and well in this life…" She then bowed her head as a new sob escaped her.
As Shinobu and Chigaiko both move to comfort, a voice hissed, "He's lying…!"
Heads snapped around to allow people to gaze on Megane, who looked now to be arcing between righteous outrage and underwear-soiling terror at that rather PUBLIC reminder that this being calling herself "Moroboshi Hiromi" was actually a tōshi of all things. "Of course it's a lie!" Chigaiko then snarled out. "Of course ANYTHING that hurts your precious Oni has to be evil! What else matters, huh?! You didn't give a shit a year ago when you and your three butt-buddies there brought that damned space-taxi here and nearly had the world's oil stolen! After all, blame it on Ataru-kun! He's an idiot! He's a moron! And he somehow made that Oni MONSTER believe he wanted to MARRY her!" As the Stormtroopers all screamed out in anger on hearing Lum being called a monster to all things, Chigaiko smirked. "And now — after that Oni monster YET AGAIN decided to THREATEN ALL OF EARTH just to make Ataru-kun heel to her! — when he actually slams the bitch into her place, what do you do?!"
"HOW DARE YOU…?!"
KK-KRACK!
A bolt of energy slammed into Megane's back, knocking him face-first into the street. As people turned to look, Hiromi blinked before she smiled. "Welcome to Earth, Hunter Commander Nassur," she quietly stated as she looked over. "I trust all is well?"
"Not on Uru, I'm afraid, Matriarch Moroboshi," the handsome brown-haired, blue-eyed, Western-looking man appearing to be in his late twenties — who had elegantly tapered ears barely covered under his hair — said as he came up to join the reborn emperor, a smoking alien pistol in hand. "But then again, it's to be expected. Lum-cha's people are arrogant beyond belief when it comes to Earth. That you and your brother actually turned to the Noukiites to drive them out of the system will not make them happy."
He then knelt to pick up the note Ryūha had handed Hiromi. As people watched, his eyes glowed a beautiful shade of bright silver for a moment as his fingers seemed to trace over the paper. After that, they returned to their normal blue. "Oyuki-sama handled this," he declared before turning to gaze on Ryūha. "How did Ataru's genetic parents get hold of this letter? Was it sent through the Central Warp Chamber on Triton?"
Ryūha nodded. "It came with a n-note saying what h-happened to…!" he sputtered out before demanding, "Who are you, anyway?! What business do you have here?!"
"Your planet's Special Committee on Alien Activities — the 'Men In Black' as they're more commonly known here — gave me permission to come here as an impartial investigator since those national authorities here in Nihon who've handled issues concerning Lum-cha and her friends being here on Earth have clearly lost total control over this matter," the visitor coolly stated. "As for me, I'm Nassur of Vos, now resident on the Home Base asteroid, about ten light-years from planet Uru…or Oniboshi as it's sometimes called. I'm an independent bounty hunter licensed throughout the Galactic Federation of Planet-States, which the United Tribes of Uru is a member-state of. I'm also declared a free warrior within the territory of the Imperial Dominion of Noukiios — that's where the celestial dragons last week came from — as well as an auxiliary Executioner of the Royal Kingdoms of Yehisril and an honorary Inquisitor of the Holy Inquisition of the Six Churches of Zephyrus. I was, five years ago, Lum-cha's personal hand-to-hand combat teacher. But since she's not here to confirm such things, you'll just have to take my word for it." He then smirked as he holstered his weapon.
"So who gives that Oni bitch the right to threaten an entire planet's ECO-SYSTEM in the first place just to make Ataru-kun publicly admit what he doesn't feel for her, Nassur-san?!" Chigaiko then demanded. "Hiromi-chan and Ataru-kun both told me about the Galactic Non-Interference Treaty the Oni VIOLATED last year to launch their stupid 'tag race.' Regardless if her presence here on Earth was legal or not, she had no right to force her laws and customs on an innocent man! After all — as Hensō gladly confirmed — tagging an Oni's horns in a Tag Race does NOT constitute a MARRIAGE TAG!"
"WHAT?!" many of the people around them screamed out.
"It's true!"
People gazed on Nassur. "So technically — under Oni law — Ataru-kun and Lum were NEVER MARRIED in the first place, right?!" Shinobu then asked.
"That's correct, Miyake-san," Nassur affirmed. "Regardless of what Ataru-kun said — at your prompting the night prior, so I was told — when the tag was made, he has only touched Lum-cha's horns on TWO occasions! Both in Tag Races. Hence, no marriage."
Hearing that, the conscious Stormtroopers perked as their minds quickly put together what actually tagging an Oni's horns OUTSIDE a Tag Race would mean. As they exchanged knowing looks, they then began to cackle. Hiromi blinked on hearing that, and then she sighed. "Is the letter factual, Nassur-dono?" she asked. "Did she kill herself?"
A sigh. "Her parents got to her in time, Hiromi-cha. There was little blood loss. She's recovering right now at her parents' home." He then gazed on the Stormtroopers. "I was actually sent here by Invader to get these four — and that rich boy that likes Lum-cha so much — and take them to Uru to deal with the Church of Lum. But seeing as how Lum-cha decided to hurt you instead, I'll hold off on that."
"I would suggest you do just that," she frostily stated as she reached into her travel bag and pulled out what looked like an Apple iPad on steroids. Tapping the power button, she then touched the screen. "Tsukihana-kun?!" she called out.
"Hai, Onē-chan?!" a young man's voice called back.
"Contact Yiziba," the reborn emperor of the Hàn ordered. "Advise the Academician that the barrier field at the Ceres orbit line is to be activated immediately. Warn her that Nassur-dono is here; we don't need the Renegade damage inadvertently."
"Hai! Oh, did you get the Lóngyù?!"
"Hai, it is in my possession now. We'll be able to free all those poor trapped souls in the Nanban Forest within a fortnight once new bodies are created aboard the bioroid factory." As the visiting tōshi from Tōkyō and Chiba both perked on hearing that, Hiromi then wiped her eyes. "Get that signal out to the Academician immediately," she then ordered. "That foolish Lum has inadvertently escalated the matter by trying to take her own life after Onii-san humiliated her last week. Even if her so-called 'most faithful' have been defanged for the last four months, there are the Imperials on her home planet. The sooner they're humiliated and shown to be totally impotent, the sooner any threat from Uru will be eliminated once and for all time."
"Signal went out, Onē-chan!" a girl's voice then cut in. "We got a reply right away. The Academician suspected it was happening the instant INN broke the news of Redet trying to kill herself. Nassur-oniichan's ship wasn't be harmed; she knows the frequency of the anti-matter containment field on the Renegade's warp core." A chuckle. "There was a Kashin-class battleship just passing Ceres' orbit from Toshitto on approach to Earth when the field went up. Her warp core didn't stand a chance."
Hiromi grimly nodded. Nearby, the Stormtroopers — including a slowly-recovering Megane — were all white with horror at the thought of this odd version of Ataru actually CLOSING OFF Earth from Uru once and for all time. And having already claimed the lives of the crew of a Kashin-class battlewagon — they all knew that was the name of the ship they had been on six months before when they had encountered Elle — before they could realise what sort of danger they were in! And if it was the Kashin itself…!
"Lum-san…!" Megane moaned before he and his friends passed out on the street.
No one — not even a pale Ryūha — reacted to that. "There is the Warp Chamber," Nassur warned. "They have the co-ordinates to your brother's old bedroom and your school."
A smirk. "A pity Madame Academician was asked to consider that as well," Hiromi said with a mirthless smile. "Any attempt at moving anything other than snow and ice anywhere inside the orbit line of Ceres will see the cargo beamed right into the Sun itself. And there will be no movement of snow or ice anymore to Earth; it will all go to Mars instead. A pity we didn't consider that as soon as the ch'uokyek chased Lum-san and her selfish friends off the planet last week. It would have perhaps spared two thousand innocent servicemen from Uru their lives just now." She stood up. "My dear Hunter Commander, please relay this warning to Lum's witless father and Oyuki's senile sire; ANY attempt at circumventing the Academician's work will immediately result in the Mother of All Fight Scenes on Uru and Triton. I don't think that they're THAT foolish to tempt such a fate, but given Invader's idiot actions when that selfish brat Elle came into our lives, I will not risk it. These good people here have suffered more than enough because of the presence of Lum and her friends on Earth this last year or so." She waved to the crowd around them, all of whom gaped in surprise on noting that Hiromi clearly cared for them. "My brother has accepted his responsibility — and that was his REAL fault, not what idiots like those traitors to humanity there…" — she pointed contemptuously at the recovering Stormtroopers, all four of whom awked in shock on hearing THAT appelation forced on them — "…have said he was responsible for! — for what has happened here over the last year; hence, his self-imposed exile from Earth at this time as he helps the Avalonians recover from what the Niphentaxians unleashed on them over the last century alongside Elder Ganzo." Her eyes then focused on Ryūha, said eyes then glowing. "And despite what Ryūha-san and his idiot friends claimed just minutes ago about my so-called 'godly power' and how I was exercising it, I have done nothing myself save defend myself against witless dullards like Megane and Mendō. Not even Onii-san's actions last week could be seen as that." A smirk as her eyes went back to normal. "Then again, it's not my fault that one of the other souls within Onii-san's mind until six months ago was none other than Imperial Special Agent Number Forty-nine!"
Croaks of shock and disbelief escaped most of the people around them; the story of how the last members of the Black Dragon Society who had instigated the Greater East Asia War had all been hunted down and killed on the evening of Tuesday 14 August 1945 by a deadly warrior known only as "Imperial Special Agent #49" — who was directly answerable only to the Son of Heaven himself! — was an urban legend across all of Japan. To face THAT being in battle — as people who had heard that legend were told in conclusion — was to literally face the Angel of Death!
"Oh, speaking of which, where is Negako-san?" Nassur asked.
Both visiting tōshi gargled on hearing THAT name; they knew what the name "Negako" meant when it came to the tōshi's most deadly enemy of all, the Black Death of the Martial Arts itself! "Busy having my new home built in a place that is not with Onii-san's genetic parents," Hiromi stated. "Not to mention ensuring any straggling Niphentaxian who might have escaped the Lady K'ekhech's dragnet last week will not cause any further mischief anywhere on Earth." She then perked. "Oh, when you do speak to Lum's dullard of a father again, Hunter Commander, do inform him that we made the discovery of a starbase self-destruct device in the Tomobiki Ginza. If he wishes to see the Niphentaxians survive the next few weeks, he will make it quite clear to Ōgi that we will not hesitate to DROP that device on LUMUKYŌ if we feel threatened once more by him or his mindless lackeys!"
Nassur jolted, his eyes widening. "A STARBASE SELF-DESTRUCT DEVICE?!"
"Aye! Explosive yield — in Earth measurements — of 2.1 exajoules of energy! Or as the Americans would say it…five hundred MEGATONS of T.N.T.!" As the crowd around her screamed out in horror on hearing THAT, Hiromi smiled. "I'm unaware of what such would be in the standard intergalactic measurements of energy, Nassur-dono…but according to both Tsukihana-kun and Ayami-chan, it would have been enough to turn the whole Kantō basin of Japan into a radioactive bay of the Pacific Ocean!"
As people began chatting away with each other concerning that, Nassur smiled. It was one without any humour. "I'll make sure Lum-cha's father learns that," he said as he gave Hiromi a respectful bow. "Please do take care of yourself, Matriarch."
Hiromi returned his bow, giving him the classic right fist-in-left palm salute of old China. "May the spirit of President Lecasur watch over you, Hunter Commander," she said. "Please do visit again when you can spare the time."
"So I will."
He then tapped the cygnet-shaped badge on his left chest, disappearing a second later in a shower of teleporter energy. With that, Hiromi took a deep breath before she gazed on the visiting tōshi. "May I have the pleasure of your real names, ladies?"
They perked, and then both bowed to their reborn emperor. "I am Sebone Shikuko, Hiromi-sama," the woman known to her peers as "Ryofu Hōsen" declared.
"And I am Sebone Mimōko, Hiromi-sama," the woman known as "Ryomō Shimei" added.
Hiromi's eyes widened. "Nozomi-san's cousins?!"
Shinobu gasped. "They're Nozomi-chan's cousins?!"
"Yes, we are," Mimōko said as sorrow crossed hers and Shikuko's faces.
Hiromi sighed. "Onii-san — and by extension, myself — took an oath when Nozomi-san forever slipped from this life concerning you two," she said before smiling. "Well, since you're here now, it ensures I have no need to go find you two. Come along, now. Let us go somewhere more private to speak further of this." She turned to head off towards Tampopo's Restaurant and Beefbowl Bar…and then she stopped. "Ryūha-san!"
Ryūha jolted. "What?!"
"Do convey this to Onii-san's parents," the reborn emperor said as a mirthless smile crossed her face. "For trying to hurt him like they obviously planned to do, they will have all their savings within Toranoseishin Finances taken out and delivered to them — WITH PENALTIES! — in cheques that will be publicly delivered within the day! All support given to them by the clan will stop immediately! They better PRAY that Lum NEVER comes back to Earth again; the next time the house is damaged, they'll have to pay for it THEMSELVES! And warn them that if they don't wish to have their reputations shamed across the whole NATION, they will not protest this ever again!"
"About time those monsters got put into their place!" Chigaiko snarled. "Let's go, Hiromi-chan!"
She then walked off with the reborn emperor towards Tampopo. As many of the crowd around them cheered, Shinobu smiled as she gazed on Ryūha. "You better also tell those two selfish child abusers that they'll get no help from me or anyone else from Tomobiki High anymore when it comes to Ataru-kun, Kanzaki," Ataru's former girlfriend then advised. "Their reputations are going to be ruined anyway once the news of that annihilation bomb that was buried in Tomobiki by ALLIES to Lum's people gets out!" A dry chuckle as she gazed contemptuously at the Stormtroopers. "'Traitors to humanity,' indeed," she scornfully added, which made the four boys wince, and then she gazed on the Sebone cousins. "You might want to spread the word, Sempai-tachi. I'm sure all your schoolmates will rejoice at the return of Ryūkō Kyōrei-sama."
Both Shikuko and Mimōko blinked as their minds translated that battle name to its original Mandarin: "Liú Hóng Xiàolíng." "Hiromi-sama's using her POSTHUMOUS name as her STYLE NAME?!" the former then demanded. "Why on Earth is she doing that?!"
"I am an emperor of nothing, Hōsen-dono."
The Sebone cousins turned to gaze on a sadly smiling Hiromi, and then they nodded. As Mimōko walked over to join Hiromi, Shikuko gazed on Ryūha. "You have earned enemies this day, buddy," she hissed. "Your actions made Kyōrei-sama CRY! Once THAT news gets out amongst our peers across Kantō, you'll know what REAL divinities are like!"
"The news has already gone out, Hōsen-dono."
As Ryūha tensed on hearing that cold voice, Shikuko turned to gaze on the group of tōshi that just joined them. She was quick to recognise them by their clothes, marking them as hailing from…
Read the comments on this episode
(Posted Sun, 14 Oct 2012 03:32)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.