Admittedly, Ukyo was initially reluctant to clobber a panda. After all, pandas were amongst the most endangered species on the planet, and it hardly seemed fitting to destroy one just because an idiotic jerk had trained it to deliver his messages while he scampered off into hiding. However, this noble position quickly reversed after Kasumi “helpfully” brought her grandfather a kettle of hot water, which her stepmother “helpfully” poured over the panda’s head, revealing his true form in all its splendor (or complete lack thereof).
The chef grinned evilly as she advanced towards the man who’d nearly destroyed her social life for nearly a decade.
“Wait,” Genma stammered. “Aren’t you curious about why I turn into a panda?”
“Not enough to give you a chance to get away,” Ukyo replied.
“Crap.”
“Do you like tempura?” Ukyo asked, abruptly switching the subject of the conversation. Ranma’s eyes widened as a long-neglected memory suddenly rekindled. He immediately averted his vision and signaled his other family members (well, the ones he actually liked, anyway) to do the same.
Genma, on the other hand, immediately brightened. Perhaps there was a way to get out of this with his internal organs intact—a nice meal would give him the chance to properly explain what had happened. “Why, yes, as a matter of fact—”
Genma didn’t have a chance to finish that sentence, as he Ukyo tossed a cloud of tempura flakes in his face, which almost immediately ignited in a blinding flash. The Master of the Saotome School of Anything Goes would probably have berated himself for allowing such an opening in his defense, were it not for the massive baker’s peel that slammed into his side, throwing him back outside on to the Tendo’s wounded lawn.
Soun sighed as he observed the continued violence. “We’re going to need to call a landscaper.”
His wife put her hand on his shoulder. “Well, we were planning on getting some work done.”
“Some work, dear. This is a lot of work.”
“Well, maybe we can get my father to pitch in.” Ranko looked her husband in the eyes for a few seconds before both burst into peals laughter.
“Thanks, dear, I needed that,” Soun replied after he managed to catch his breath. “But still, that lawn isn’t going to pay for itself.” As if to punctuate this statement, another explosion went off between the two combatants.
“Maybe Ukyo can help,” Ranma offered. “She’s basically a nice person—when she isn’t trying to kill you, anyway.”
Ranko nodded. “That could work. After all, she is planning on sticking around for a while.”
It was at this point that another voice squirmed into the conversation: “Ranma?” Kasumi interjected. “There’s someone at the door for you.”
The martial artist rolled his eyes. “Great. It better not be another engagement Pops didn’t tell me about.”
“I doubt it—this was an older gentleman.”
“Actually, given what we know about Genma, that doesn’t necessarily rule out the ‘engagement’ possibility,” Nabiki noted with a smirk.
Ranma elected not to dignify that remark with a reply, mostly because that would have required thinking about its implications. Instead, he glowered a bit before heading off to meet the newest arrival.
Ryoga Hibiki sighed as he turned onto yet another street. If there was one thing that he hated more than Ranma Saotome, it was his lousy sense of direction, which, at the moment, seemed to be doing its damndest to keep him from getting to Ranma Saotome. Quite frankly, he wasn’t certain that he had even left China yet. Oh, sure—he’d seen some Japanese writing on street signs, but that had never guaranteed that he was in Japan before. Even if he was back in his home country, that didn’t mean he was on the right island, and even if it was the right island, that island was the biggest one in the entire archipelago.
In other words, he was pretty bummed out.
What he really needed was someone to get him to where he needed to be—someone who knew where he or she was going. In the past, that someone had been Ranma, but that was hardly a viable option this time around. Perhaps finding a taxi would work, except that Ryoga had no idea how much money that would cost (and even if he did, his wallet was nearly empty).
Despondent, Ryoga sat on his doorstep and hung his head. How on earth was he ever going to catch up to Saotome and give the bastard what was coming to him if he couldn’t— Wait a minute.... Ryoga sprang to his feet and turned around to see the door to his home. For the first time in a very long time, the perennial Lost Boy smiled. Even if his parents weren’t home (a distinct possibility, since their senses of direction were almost as bad as his), he could still restock his supply of money, which meant he could hire that taxi to take him directly to the object of his ire. Finally, things are going my way!
Ranma returned a short time later with a rather confused look on his face. “What was that about?” Akane asked.
“I dunno. Short little guy gave me these tickets to some sort of martial arts match next week. Said his boss wanted to ‘further enhance our acquaintance,’ or something.”
“Weird…”
“Nah, that’s not the weird part. What’s weird is that I’m pretty sure his boss is Kuno.”
“What?!”
“I know… first he’s trying to challenge me, and now he wants to be my friend? Sounds suspicious to me.”
“What’s so suspicious about it?” Nabiki asked rhetorically. “It’s pretty obvious what he’s trying to do.”
“Set me up for a trap?”
“No… well, probably not. But more likely he wants to get on your good side so you can convince Akane and your ‘twin sister’ to go out with him.”
“Oh, great.”
“Hey, it’s not like you have to go,” Nabiki offered.
“Yes, I do—I promised the little guy I would.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Couldn’t think of a reason not to. Ain’t it supposed ta be impolite or something to refuse?”
“That doesn’t mean that you can’t ever back out of one, particularly when it’s made on the spur of the moment. Why would you think that?”
“Because it sounds like the kind of thing Pops would never do.”
“Ah, that makes sense, I suppose. But Ranma, you don’t have to make those kinds of decisions right away.”
“Oh. Well, not much I can do about it now. I made a promise, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned while living with Pops, it’s that you always keep your promises.”
“How did you learn that from him?” Akane asked, flabbergasted.
“Easy. Every time he broke one, it meant someone tried to kill us,” Ranma answered, motioning over to Ukyo, who was still smacking away at his father with her baker’s peel.
“Point taken.”
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(Posted Wed, 30 Jun 2010 05:55)
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