"Uhm, I just want to point out that Naruto is eleven years old," pointed out Minato.
"Hmmm," mused Toltiir. "Bring in a new one or empower an existing one? Decisions, decisions. Well, let's go with 'existing' for now, shall we?"
POP!
"WHAT?! WHO? WHERE?!" yelped Hinata Hyuga.
"Oh, Hinata, hi," said Naruto, not entirely sure how to deal with the idea of a girlfriend.
"Now she's already got the Byakugan, but that's hardly enough in a ninja village to qualify as a 'magical girlfriend' - right?" Toltiir began paging through screens. "Let's see. Magical powers. Magical powers. Telekinesis? No, that's another. Telepathy. No, same universe. Hmmm. Broomstick?"
POP!
Hinata blinked at the broomstick in her hands.
"Boomstick?" Pop!
"Poolstick?" Piff!
"Magic Carpet?" Poof!
"Shaggy Carpet?" Paff!
"Cloak Of Indivisibility?" Peff!
"Cloak Of Useless Objects?" Puff!
"Girdle Of Expansion?" Bamf!
"Girdle Of Giant Strength?" Bomf!
"Bra Of Firm Expansion?" Ba-dumf!
"Lingerie Of Sexiness?" Va-voom!
"Armoir Of Invulnerability?" Crash!
"Wand Of Wonder?" Whap!
"Sink Of Power?" thud!
"Hat Of Magical Proficiency?" whump!
"Hinata, are you in there?" asked a concerned Naruto of the heap of items where Hinata had once been.
"Mmph?" said someone under a heap of items.
Toltiir blinked and made a paw-wave that caused all the items to vanish.
"EEP!"
"Oh, sorry," said Toltiir, paw-waving and clothing Hinata.
"W-w-what am I wearing?!" squeaked Hinata.
"Oh, that? Standard magical girl clothing," said Toltiir. "I know! I'll copy your magical girl abilities from your Analogue on that Grinder world."
"'Analogue'?" asked Naruto.
"Multiple timelines," explained Toltiir, paging through several images. "There are worlds in which you are a normal high school student, worlds in which you had a twelve-tailed phoenix inserted into you, worlds in which you and the rest of your friends are super-powered mutants in the Konoha school district. It's a 'you' that grew up in a different universe with different genre and tendencies."
"'Grinder'?" asked Minato.
"That particular world is one I usually don't visit," said Toltiir with a shrug. "The local deity is all into evolution and constant testing of his subjects. Just about any magical shojo or shonen group is in there - and they usually die off in their first season. Deck is stacked against the good guys. Large segments of the population get eaten, disassembled, turned into monsters, have their existence wiped, their potential sucked out, droned, and so on and so forth."
"I have a 'me' there?" asked Naruto.
"Sort of, you die pretty early," said Toltiir. "Of the people you're familiar with - Sasuke was the main character and he's the only one that lasted past season one. Dies in the beginning of season two."
"I-I-I die?!" squeaked Hinata.
"Yeah, you get eaten by a carnivorous plant," said Toltiir, showing her how the other her was sucked up into a bulbous plant just after Naruto was ripped apart. "It slowly digests you while you struggle. You manage to last almost an hour."
Hinata excused herself very politely to go over to a corner and throw up.
"Her powers as a magical girl in that setting were the usual eye-powers, plus she could teleport anywhere she could see with her vision," said Toltiir. "That ought to work, right?"
"No," pointed out Naruto. "That Hinata died. So it didn't work too well."
"Oh, good point." Toltiir considered. "It sucked out her magic points and she couldn't teleport. Hmmm. Well, I'll leave her with it, simply because it might be amusing. Especially if she has to learn to control it."
"So you're going to give her something else, right?" asked Naruto. "If it didn't work in that 'grinder' it probably wouldn't work here either."
"Oh," said Toltiir, scratching his head with his tail. "Maybe..."
Read the comments on this episode
(Posted Sun, 26 Sep 2010 07:45)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.