"Lady Tsunade, if he's Kushina's child - he'd be at most eleven."
"So? Just means I wouldn't have to deal with any of the messy stuff. You're taking this way too seriously, Shizune." Tsunade smirked as she slowly brought up the dish and let the warm sake trickle pleasantly down her throat.
She was still smirking as she lowered the dish and opened her eyes again. The smirk vanished as she saw Dan standing there, looking about as stunned as a human being could possibly be.
"KAI!" tried Tsunade.
"Uh," said Dan, who'd rehearsed this scene several times and never had things come even close to this.
Tsunade tried another genjutsu dispel. Again. And a fourth time. The Dan standing there still remained. "Uhm. Tsunade?"
"You're not real, you can't be," said Tsunade, feeling her eyes start watering for some reason. "The rumors CAN'T be true."
"Uhm, well," said Dan, sliding into place at the table across from Tsunade. "Why don't you tell me what the rumors are, and I'll tell you if they're true."
Tsunade twitched, then one hand shot out to grab one of Dan's arms and pull it closer so she could inspect it.
"Shizune, what do you think?" asked Tsunade as she looked over the hand and arm. Certainly looked real, but couldn't possibly BE real of course. "Shizune?"
A glance to the side revealed Shizune had apparently fainted. No help there.
"Orochimaru," growled Tsunade.
"Eh?" asked Dan, feeling as if the arm being held were about to be crushed.
"Do you think that playing with my feelings is going to be that easy?" asked Tsunade. "Animating Dan's corpse?!"
"Uhm, oh look, an obvious distraction," tried Dan, pointing with his other hand.
"Hah, as if I'd be so drunk as to fall for that," scoffed Tsunade, checking behind her and not at all surprised to see nothing. Unless you counted the waiter with the bill, which she didn't. "You'll have to do better than that to..."
Turning back to face Dan she found that Shizune had somehow been moved over to Dan's former position and she was holding her apprentice's arm in the same grip she'd had Dan's arm in earlier. "DAMN! Get back here, you!"
Tsunade took off at a run, looking for the escaped Orochimaru-using-Dan's-corpse.
Shizune flopped back for a moment until a puff of smoke revealed that Dan had used a henge on himself to look like Shizune and another to make Shizune look like a few discarded pillows.
"Okay, maybe I should approach her when she's a little more sober," mused Dan as he went to go call his dragon and report back.
"Did you hear?" asked the waiter to the merchants. "I was here and I heard it from her own lips myself. Tsunade, the legendary sucker and one of the Leaf's Three Legendary Ninja, proclaimed that she would become a dancing girl for Lord Uzumaki and join his harem!"
"You're not going to believe this, but there was a waiter who saw the deal go down," said the merchant to his supplier. "Tsunade of the Sannin proclaimed that she would start that Uzumaki boy off with a harem. Said anyone that could beat a death god on a game of chance needed as many heirs as could be gotten."
"Damn," said one of the suppliers. "I've heard of luck, but that just takes the cake."
The supplier nodded and motioned for another round for him and his buddies. "Apparently the owner of the bar was present and witnessed the whole thing. Tsunade the legendary medic proclaimed that the Uzumaki kid needed lots of heirs, so she started auditioning girls to present him with a harem when he's old enough. Oh, and something about cake - but I'm not sure what that was about."
"There was a magistrate present, a friend of the owner of the bar, and they witnessed the whole thing," swore the spy. "Lady Tsunade of the Leaf is collecting girls for the Uzumaki kid's harem."
"Hmmm, an opportunity to infiltrate their village and discover their secrets," mused the Kage.
"Considering that this IS Tsunade we're talking about, I consider it highly unlikely she'd even consider this," said Orochimaru. "Really, combined with this rumor that some child has surpassed even me? Do you truly want to die in some terrible lingering fashion? It would be a pleasure to oblige you know, you only have to ask."
"Your kindness is as great as ever, great Orochimaru," said the spy. "As much as I regret not leaping at the offer to be of service to you in that small manner, being your spy and agent and continuing to serve you is a much greater pleasure."
"Oh," said Orochimaru. "I rather thought so."
Read the comments on this episode
(Posted Sun, 12 Sep 2010 19:13)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.