He could admit when he was wrong—as rare as that was. Though he could admit he should have seen this coming. Akane didn’t offer to make any food, no one had attacked him in his sleep, Nabiki hadn’t tried to extort him for an hour.
Yep, should have been obvious warning signs. When there were none at home, they came from outside.
In this case, it was his mother asking him to come over. He should’ve realized by now that such was NEVER a good sign. Oh, it wasn’t his mother’s fault, he knew the woman loved him... but every time he went over her place, something went wrong!
Revelations concerning contracts about manliness, jerkasses out for revenge pretending to be him, fiancées fighting over where his mother hid an engagement ring and NOW being told his grandmother WANTED him to be a woman!
Oh, she hadn’t said that at first. No, she had asked why he was wearing that outfit, why his hair hadn’t seen a salon in months, and were there any interesting boys in his life...
Maybe he should have taken that one officer up on his offer to enter Witness Protection... well, not for the drug dealer he beat up, but still...
“ACK!” the pigtailed martial artist gasped out. “You’re tying that a bit tight, ma’am...” he said to the tall woman in a sailor fuku. “I mean, not that I don’t mind you trying to save me from a fate worse than death but... you’re really, REALLY making me feel like Akane here...”
It was odd. He thought that being in Akane’s position would be a neat change of pace but... damn, no wonder she was always so grouchy whenever he finally caught up to save her.
If he was always constantly being abducted by people who couldn’t tie a square knot to save their lives, who thought putting pressure solely on one rib and that yes, a hand could bend that way, he might be a bit cranky too.
“Here!” Ranma growled, slipping an arm out and yanking the rope from the surprised woman. “I swear, you guys need a trainer or something!”
Well, if he wouldn’t show her, who would?
The Senshi of Time blinked her eyes once in surprise before irritation began to bubble back to the surface. As Setsuna was about to yell at him to shut up let her do her job, that she’s had millennia of experience, the door was thrust open.
“Setsuna! Rei won’t give me back my cell phone!” Minako cried in exasperation. “She said she was going to make a quick call to her Therapist, and I thought you meant like, three, five, maybe eight minutes tops! She’s been on for a half hour now and it’s costing me a bundle!”
“I SAID I NEED THIS!” the Shrine Priestess of the Hikawa Shrine could be heard shouting from another room. There was a slight pause before the screaming resumed with, “WHO ASKED YOU!?”
Minako just snorted. “Yeah, working wonders and—EEK!” she cried. “It’s not even my birthday! But...” the blonde tilted her head as she looked the pigtailed youth over. “You didn’t put a bow on his head,” muttered the Senshi of Love.
Setsuna lost the battle against her twitch.
“Hey,” Ranma shouted at Setsuna as she ignored him. “Ya ain’t gonna learn how to tie a proper knot if you ain’t watching!”
...
......
...It would be so easy... just one Dead Scream to end her troubles...
Even as Setsuna contemplated ending them all, Minako was at least now appeased, completely forgetting about the woman racking up her phone bill. “Hello, handsome! I’m Minako! Let me guess, you’re ‘Mine’, right? Mr. “Mine Now-and-Forever”?”
Looking up into the blonde girl’s blue eyes, he held eye contact with her for a few, drawn out moments. “So... you want me to teach you how to properly tie up someone in rope?”
A large smile appeared over the currently de-powered Senshi of Venus’ face. “You mean like shibari?”
Ranma blinked his eyes once, twice. “What’s shibari?”
Licking her lips, the blonde replied, “The art of tying people up with rope!”
“Oh!” the raven-haired martial artist gasped out in understanding. “Then yes, I’m going to show you some shibari.”
“Sweet!” Minako cried out happily with a clap of her hands. “Thank you, Setsuna! You truly are the bestest best friend EVER!”
“NO, I WILL NOT HOLD!” came Rei’s cry from the next room. “I WAS PROMISED SERENITY NOW! DO I FUCKING SOUND SERENE!?”
“Minako, not now,” Setsuna replied, grabbing the blonde by the back of her shirt as she tried to sit on Ranma’s lap. She debated on whether or not to correct Ranma on the whole shibari thing, but she didn’t need to devolve into a rant.
“NO I DON’T HAVE FATHER-ISSUES! I’D HAVE TO SEE THE BASTARD REGULARLY TO HAVE FATHER ISSUES!” was Rei’s continued tirade. “I HAVE USAGI ISSUES!”
“WAAAAH! REI HAS ISSUES WITH ME!”
Yes, avoid the rant... for now.
Shaking her head and causing her long locks of viridian hair to flutter a moment, the woman glared at Minako with blazing red eyes. “Look, Minako? I don’t have time for these antics right now! This boy is a lynchpin in everything that’s going wrong! If we keep him under lock and key for awhile, I should be able to get that bitch Sol to understand he—”
“Looks just like my old sempai...” said a very tall brunette wistfully as she stared at the youth in the chair trying to tie a long length of rope around himself.
The blonde with a red bow in her hair spun about, fires of rage now burning in her eyes more intensely than Setsuna’s had been. “BACK OFF, BITCH! I SAW HIM FIRST!!”
Turning to face her friend, Makoto met the glare with her own. “I don’t see your name on him!”
“That’s because Setsuna didn’t get the gift tag on him yet!” the Senshi of Venus snapped at her friend. “HE’S MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT!”
Makoto blinked her eyes once, twice. “...Seriously?” at Minako’s nod, the Senshi of Jupiter turned to look at the Sailor Pluto. “You bitch! All I got for my birthday a couple of months back was a card and a two-thousand Yen gift certificate to McDonald's! I DEMAND A BOYFRIEND TOO!”
“MY SEX LIFE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!” Rei yelled from the other room.
“Or lack there of,” muttered all three women at once, not that any of them heard the others.
Ranma just sighed. Some kidnappers! They couldn’t even focus on learning to tie a proper knot. Seriously, no work ethic at all!
Finally, the Senshi of Pluto decided to get this situation under control so she could hit up her liquor cabinet. “He is not a boyfriend,” stated Setsuna in a dead tone.
The blonde blinked her eyes once, twice. If he wasn’t to be a boyfriend... that could only mean...
Minako gasped. “But... but I don’t even have wedding colors picked out yet!”
“He is not a husband,” the Senshi of Time—and dwindling patience—growled.
“Is he my old Sempai?” Asked Makoto, filled with hope.
“No! He’s not your old Sempai! No he’s not your boyfriend or husband!” the tanned woman snapped angrily. “This little guy is—”
“SETSUNAAAA!” Usagi wailed as she rushed into the room, a bucket of KFC in her arms. “Rei’s still angry at me and I’m afraid she's going to try and stab my eyes out with chicken bones once she’s off the phone! What am I going to do? What am I going... to...” she trailed off as a realization came to her. “Setsuna? Who is this guy and why is he looking at my bucket of ‘Original Recipe’ like I’m holding the Holy Grail? I mean, the original, not the one that I was using to beat up Death Busters...”
She wanted to cry, she really did. Was it just so damned impossible for her to simply kidnap a complete stranger and hold them for ransom without some form of insanity happening?
“Where’s my chicken!” Artmeis cried out upon entering the room.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!”
“...Setsuna, is my present hanging from the ceiling, still tied to the chair?” Minako asked.
“And is he doing it by one hand?” Makoto asked in complete awe. She loved a man with strong hands...
Looking back and forth between Artemis and the boy hanging for dear life by two fingers and his thumb, Usagi, friend of all—except for Rei—somehow gained an understanding. The girl always seemed to have an intuition concerning people, even if they people themselves didn’t see such within them... but she did and knew what had to be done!
Picking up a chicken leg from the bucker, she waked it between her fingers. “Arty! Fetch!”
The white-furred Mooncat glared up at the Moon Princess in civilian guise. “Do I look like a dog to—MY CHICKEN!” He cried out as he rushed out of the room.
Nodding her head, Usagi looked up at the boy with a chair sloppily tied to him. “It’s okay! You can come down now!”
“Don’t worry,” offered Minako. “I’ll catch you!”
“No, I will!” growled Makoto.
Setsuna was just about ready to let them try, if only for the fall to knock them out and give her some peace and quiet.
“I WILL NOT TELL YOU HOW OFTEN I DO THAT, PERVERT!”
...And maybe get some prescription pills for Rei... or some strong weed.
Still hanging from the ceiling from one hand, the pigtailed martial artist looked back and forth about the room. While he didn’t see the horrible monster from hell anywhere, those two ladies circling beneath him like sharks in a water tank weren’t that much more reassuring. “You’re SURE it’s safe to come down?”
Nodding her head, Usagi smiled. “Don’t you want to come down for chicken?” She held up the bucket a little for emphasis, showing off the image of the Colonel on the side.
Despite the way gravity, physics, space, and time should work, the pigtailed prisoner of the undeclared war disappeared from the ceiling, appearing beside the reincarnated Moon Princess, bucket now in his hands, as he nibbled on a wing.
He had come to prefer them, because if they ever ate it at the Dojo, someone—cough, cough-AKANE-cough, cough—would smack him if he asked for a breast, thigh, or leg.
But still... that was just regular chicken. This... to have the Colonel’s sacred secret eleven herbs and spices again after so long. “O~ooooh maaaan...” Ranma practically purred like one of the felines he was so terribly afraid of. “I haven’t had this since I was a kid! I thought they’d all closed down!”
Minako blinked her eyes once, twice. “Closed down? Why on earth would KFC be closed?”
“Well, I loved this stuff when I was a kid... but then one day, the old man came back empty handed, shook his head and told me, that KFC was no more—that it was closed now and forever...” he then dropped the picked-clean wing bones and licked his fingers clean. “Oh, yes... daddy needs his medicine...”
“NO, I DO NOT NEED TO BE PUT ON ANY MORE MEDICATIONS! I’M ALREADY PISSING BLOOD OUT MY ASS THANKS TO A COMBINATION OF THE TWO YOU ALREADY HAVE ME ON! DO YOU WANT IT COMING OUT MY MOUTH AS WELL!?” was the roar from the angry Shrine Priestess, the walls doing nothing to keep noise down.
Making a mental note to grab Rei, pop over to California, and have her drugged by the finest drug dealers mental health experts available to Hollywood, she turned to the disappointed girls who had been unable to have a hands-on rescue of the pigtailed boy. “He is our prisoner, not a distraction for you.” Perhaps after this, I should focus more on getting them married off... the woman thought honestly...
Before grinning maliciously to herself. Nah, I like watching them try and fail too much!
“But-but!” Minako sputtered.
“He’s not some enemy in disguise, playing with our emotions before trying to kill us, is he?” asked Makoto.
“Well, no,” Setsuna replied, surprised they hadn’t asked about why she had taken him prisoner.
“Then stay out of it!” the Senshi of Nature responded, before grabbing a roll of paper towels and making her way over to help ‘clean’ him up.
“Man, this is some good stuff,” the raven-haired male replied, taking another wing out of the bucket and stripping it of all meat faster than a school of piranha ever could.
“I know, right?” the blonde that wasn’t falling head over heels for the martial artist replied. “So, what’s your favorite KFC flavor?”
Finishing off the second wing, Ranma replied with a mouthful, “Chicken!”
Usagi blinked her eyes once, twice. “Really? MINE TOO!” Smiling, she reached into the bucket, grabbing a breast, and proceeded to nearly match the prisoner in speed of eating.
Minako blinked her eyes, as did Makoto, watching the two. “My God,” Minako muttered, looking about. “I’ve seen this on TV: they’re long lost siblings!”
Makoto just gave her a hooded glare. “Really?”
“Well, look at the eye color, eating habits, same favorite type of chicken...”
The Senshi of Time rolled her eyes. What the hell likelihood did THAT have to be reality?
Placing down the meatless breast, Usagi mumbled, “You know what would really go well with this chicken?"
Having finished off the fourth and final wing, Ranma tentatively reached for a drumstick. “...More chicken!?”
The odango-haired blonde paused for a moment, blue eyes wide with awe. “Wow... you read my mind.”
Setsuna twitched as a sudden cold chill went up her back. No. NO! Hell no! Such couldn’t be!!!
“Excuse me, girls,” the Senshi of Time replied as she suddenly went from nearly exploding with rage to sudden sobriety and somber tone of voice. “I need to check something out, just to make sure chaos isn’t afoot and that we’re aren’t all going to die. Watch the boy in the meantime but do NOT let him out of that chair...” she looked between the trio. “I MEAN IT!”
Sure, she knew there was absolutely, positively no way it was true. Ranma was obviously related to Sailor Sol, Usagi looked the same as she did back then.
But considering she had a blank spot in her mind as to what the King—father of Princess Serenity—looked like, it was better to be safe than sorry. Better to also prove it to herself, lest she have nightmares for the next few months.
“We promise you, Sailor Pluto, we won’t let the stud-muffin birthday gift to me run free,” Minako said in all seriousness. “Pentagram my heart and hope to change my hair from blonde to brunette!”
“...That's ‘cross my heart and hope to die’...” the Senshi of Time said irritably, her left eye twitching.
Blinking her eyes once, twice, Minako looked up to meet Sailor Pluto’s crimson eyes. “Really? Sweet!” the blonde with the bow in her head pumped her arm. “Now I don’t have to worry about doing anything to my hair!”
Raising a gloved hand to her face, Setsuna pinched the bridge of her nose. “I mean it you girls. None of you three are to touch that rope and let him go, do you hear me?”
“Got it...” all thee gathered Senshi in civilian guise replied.
The viridian-tressed woman then grabbed the bucket of original recipe from Ranma. “AND NO MORE CHICKEN FOR HIM!” She then disappeared, teleporting back to the Time Gates.
Ranma just blinked, looking at the piece of chicken in his hand, to where the bucket had been, and back to—“HEY!”
“But it is soooooo good!” purred Usagi, realizing that purloined chicken tasted sweeter than chicken earned.
Besides, it had been the last piece in the bucket, and he had had five pieces! It was the gentlemanly thing to do: to offer the girl the last piece.
“Girls, what is going on here?” Ami asked, entering the room with a bucket of ‘Extra Crispy’ in her arms. “I’ve been trying to help Michiru and Mamoru keep Haruka in check when... I...” she trailed off as she stared at the group, specifically the pigtailed male tied haphazardly to a chair and reaching for the chicken in Usagi’s hand with one freed arm.
It took her a moment, but finally, the blunette juku student asked, “Ranma Saotome?”
In this universe—or at least this version of Earth—there are a few things that will immediately get territorial if they sense a threat of some sort to what they consider theirs.
Ami, knowing the hunk before her, proved that in Minako’s case, this list also included magical girls who have a batting average in the dating world of 0 and X, where X is a number they will never tell. “You know him?”
Ami blushed a bit. “Well, I was with my mother for a few nights in Nerima prefecture for some medical conference, when we got a call about a massive explosion in the middle of the district.”
Looking over the newcomer, Ranma blinked his eyes once, twice. “HEY! I know you! You’re Ami Mizuno, right?” at her nodding her head, he smiled. “Yeah, I know you all right! You’re the nice girl that helped with the burns all over my back once I took that missile to help Nuku Nuku!”
It was a shame the Japanese Diet declared he and Nukuchan weren’t allowed to meet within the confines of Tokyo anymore and were to have the space of at least half a district between them at all times...
“That’s right...” the blue-haired student replied, looking Ranma up and down again, a small blush coming to her face. “Um... how did it go with the stitches I had to apply?”
“Oh, they went well,” the pigtailed male replied nonchalantly. “No scars, even after I got them taken out—I was sure that shrapnel took off more than usual...” he trailed off as he scratched the back of his head with his free hand. “Still, I thank you for not making a big deal about me having to pull down my pants and boxers so you could apply those stitches. It’s always uneasy for me to have my pants down before a girl, you know?”
And now Makoto became example Number Two.
“That was you?” asked Usagi. “I watched that on the news! There were explosions, people screaming, nurses yelling about a perverted gnome,” she started to rant, remembering how it had taken Setsuna five minutes to calm her and most of the other Senshi down, tell them it was not a new enemy, and that if they faced it, tentacle monsters would pop up...
It had taken another fifty minutes to explain to Minako that no, that was not a good thing.
Firmly nodding his head, Ranma replied, “Yes, that was me. Damn, that was one heck of a good battle! Not every day you get to punch a helicopter and WIN!” he laughed in excitement as he remembered that day.
But then in moments, he realized he had more pressing matters at hand. “Um...” he looked at the tall brunette on his left and the blonde he’d met first on his right. “Why are you two hugging me?”
“You were so brave to fight like that!” cooed Minako, barely restraining herself from going for the goods—at least until she was certain none of the others would be watching.
Makoto nodded. “I even bought the DVD! That was a spectacular battle! The OVA movie didn’t do it justice!”
“...What?” Damned Nabiki... and she keeps saying I owe her even more money. I COULD HAVE BOUGHT KFC WITH THAT MONEY!
Seeing that the boy was glowing with a bright aura of power that only seemed to increase with intensity, Ami remembered what she’d been told that day... that one had to do their best to keep these people calm.
Taking a shot in the dark, the currently depowered Senshi of Mercury held up the bucket of fried chicken towards the man. “Ranma, would you like some ‘Extra Crispy’?”
And just like there, the miasma of power disappeared, and instead, a sparkle dazzled in his eyes. “REALLY!? Boy, Ami, you’re the best girlfriend ever!”
Granted, Ranma meant that as in a great friend that was female, as, being brought up the way he was, he had no concept that you could be somewhat romantically involved with a woman that didn’t involve marriage whatsoever! So for him, a girlfriend was a rare stage of a woman actually being on the level of friends.
To everyone else however...
Ami smiled as she handed over the bucket, before feeling ... like Death was right beside her. Looking about, she spotted the murderous glares of two of her fellow Senshi—the third trying to convince Ranma to share the Extra Crispy. “What?”
“...Girlfriend?” asked Makoto with a dangerous tone.
The blunette gulped nervously. “We’re not together, I swear!” the nervous Senshi of Knowledge replied, waving her arms frantically. “He means ‘female friend’!”
The others didn’t look convinced.
“Besides, his dad sold him all over the place,” she added, more worried about saving her own neck—and panties, as she didn’t want to receive the dreaded Mako-chan Wedgy!
Now the girls were crying, believing the brave young male had been sold as a common street whore.
“Eh, you get used to it...” Ranma mumbled around a mouthful of chicken leg. He tossed the bone aside before continuing on to say, “Besides it’s not like every woman takes my father up on those idiotic pledges. I mean, to pay off my treatment I got from her mom, dad offered to engage me to Ami here!” he laughed. “I mean, isn’t that just like the old bastard? Already so much trouble, and he has someone he wants me to marry and he STILL falls back on that old ploy! What an idiot, right?”
At the silence that followed, Ranma looked about at the four stunned women. “...Right?”
Ami blinked her eyes once, twice, before speaking up in a very quiet voice. “We’re... engaged?”
A small trickle of sweat started to make its way down Ranma’s brow. “Er... I mean... dad DID sell an engagement to your mother to pay off my medical bills from that time, but I’m sure she only accepted it in jest, feeling sorry for me... right?”
Ami gulped nervously, anger over her mother doing something like that—as if she couldn’t get a man on her own—was quickly suppressed over the glares with Intent to Kill being sent at her from the other Senshi. “I-I-I-I d-don’t know,” the blunette replied. “Um ... I gotta go make a call,” she finished, quickly pulling out her communicator—now with cell signal—since Rei was still on the phone, yelling at her shrink.
“NO, I AM NOT SUFFERING FROM UNRETURNED LUST FOR MY FRIENDS!”
...And sharing waaaay too much...
Ami waited a few moments, through a few rings, feeling jittery as the aura of death that seemed to be aimed at her didn’t lessen one iota.
Finally, the sound came on Ami’s end of the communicator of the other end being picked up. Soon, a female voice came on, that of the Senshi of Mercury’s mother. “Hello, Dr. Mizuno speaking. I’m a little busy right now and can’t talk long. I’m on shift right now and I’m taking care of a few patients at once.”
‘This won’t take long, mom!” the young blunette cried out quickly. “I need to know something important mom. Important!”
“Ami? Why do you sound ang—”
“MOM!” Ami yelled. “Did you accept an engagement contract from one Genma Saotome to pay off any bills for your services in treating his son!?”
“...What are you talking about?” Dr. Mizuno asked, her voice sounding very confused.
Sighing, Ami explained, “The event the Japanese government classified as “That-Which-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Or-Remembered”...”
“Oh! That!” the good doctor replied. “Well, yes, I did accept an engagement contract... but it’s not like YOU have to accept it or anything. I just wanted to feel I got something out of that whole debacle, you know? Besides, I thought with how you were staring at his tight ass all this time, it might give you a giddy thrill and—”
Blushing bright, the young woman cried, “MOM!”
“Now dear, stop being so embarrassed. I was just thankful you were showing some attention to the male gender. After all the time you spend with your friends, the lack of dates, I was beginning to wonder...”
Ami paled, not upset that someone thought she might have preferred women, just that such seemed to be how people were perceiving her. Although, that does explain a bit about my gym teacher...
Shaking her head, the blunette got her train of thought back onto the tracks. “Mom, I am glad that you have an interest in my...” she winced. “Love-life, but I don’t think Ranma needs this right now,” she looked over her shoulder and shouted, “Do you, Ranma?”
Pulling a thigh out of his mouth, the pigtailed martial artist replied, “You better believe it!”
“Wait...” Dr. Mizuno spoke up. “Ranma’s there? Ami! Hand the phone over to him, please!”
Ami blinked, looking down at her communicator, wondering if she should. She could always get the phone from Rei and call her mother back...
“NO I WILL NOT BUY ONE OF THOSE! I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH CHEAPER AND LIFE-LIKE THEY ARE NOW!”
“...Ranma, my mother wants to talk to you,” she decided, handing him the compact—after giving him a napkin to keep the KFC grease off of it. After all, she remembered the LAST time she let someone hold it for her... it had taken a good two days to wipe off every single trace of KFC from it. That grease kept to the Senshi Communicator like white on rice!
Taking the small device from his girlfriend—female friend, that is—the pigtailed martial artist held it to the side of his head. “Hello? Ranma speaking!”
“Ah, Ranma Saotome, good to hear from you,” Dr. Mizuno said in relief. “Your grandmother, a Taiyo-san came in and... well... she can’t set an appointment for someone else but the way she went on about it, it seemed important, so I need to talk to you about it.”
Hearing that made Ranma twitch. “What? What is it you need to talk to me about, Doc?” he could only dread what his grandmother was doing with doctors...
Well, he could imagine the old bat needing a enema treatment or a colonoscopy—he didn’t even know how to spell that word—changed, or worse ... something involving lumps...
No, wait, that was on Kasumi’s soaps... right?
But what would she be doing at this place that concerned him?
“Oh, she was trying to set up an OB/GYN appointment for her granddaughter, almost seventeen. From what you told me, it sounded more like it might be your cousin.”
Ranma blinked his eyes. He was learning so much about his family today. First, he learned he had a grandmother that was alive, and now a cousin. “Man, I really need a family tree,” he muttered.
“But that's just it...” the woman started, going slow as to not startle him. “After I had taken down all the information... she mentioned that the name of said granddaughter was ‘Ranma Saotome’ and that her address was at the Tendo Dojo in the Furinkan Prefecture of Tokyo’s Nerima Ward. Do you know anything about this?”
Ranma considered that for a moment. “Nope, I can’t think of any female relatives that have my name and Pops and I are the only Saotomes at the... Tendo... Doooooooooo...” he trailed off slowly, eyes widening as his pupils shrunk to pin-pricks.
Granted, Ranma might not have been the sharpest tool in the shed... but after meeting his grandmother and the craziness that entailed from that atop of what already went on in his life, even he could properly put two and two together to get four now and again.
“Ranma? Ranma, are you there?”
“WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Ranma cried out in despair. “I DON’T WANT A DOC TOUCHING ME IN MY GIRL-SIDE DANGER ZONE!”
The others just stared at him—minus Usagi who quickly snatched the bucket of crispy goodness from him.
“Now calm down, Ranma; I thought that too,” the doctor replied, having seen his curse to ensure the stitches would be fine if he switched forms. “She assured me this was not her grandson. This is for her granddaughter who will be taking over for her in some sort of family business.”
“...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!”
“DAMN IT, DUMPLING HEAD! I’M TRYING TO HAVE A CIVIL CONVERSATION HERE WITH MY SHRINK! KEEP IT DOWN!”
“IT’S NOT ME!” Usagi wailed as Rei stuck her head in to snap her.
Rei was about to take Minako's phone and shove it up the dumb blonde’s ass sideways with a twist... but stopped as soon as she realized there was a man tied up. “Doc... maybe I will take you on upping the dosage of my meds. I’m seeing one of my fantasies right before my eyes, right here, right now, with all my friends around...” there was some talking on the phone, causing the Shrine Priestess to narrow her eyes. “No, not the violent one about burning Usagi alive in a sacrificial pyre! The one about a raven-haired youth tied up and ready to learn his place under Mistress Hino!”
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!”
“...Ranma, please don’t scream directly into the ear-piece. You’re making it difficult to hear.”
Sadly, that was also the moment the Senshi of Time in full Sailor regalia reentered normal space-time, back from the Gates after confirming that Ranma was not related to Usagi in any shape, manner, form, or marriage contract for food. “All right, everyone, I’ve taken care of what had to be done, and I’m proud to say that no, Ranma has no relation to Usagi whatsoever and cannot ruin—”
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Of course, she hadn’t been prepared to come back, see Usagi trying to keep two of the Inners from harming Ami—while protecting a bucket of KFC, Ranma pale and crying, muttering about bad touches, and Rei talking quietly to whoever was on the phone.
“...Don’t tell me anything,” she replied, hoping to not be scarred by whatever had broken the boy. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to talk to... Michiru,” she stated, deciding it probably wouldn’t be good to have Haruka guard the gender-changer—probably be the only male she’d be able to tolerate and/or hook up with. “Bless them and their mindset not to let a little thing like morals get in the way of orders.”
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(Posted Tue, 14 Dec 2010 19:27)
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