“So, they have a non-WASP president.”
“But sir,” replied the yoma, “things he is doing is making us think we have a possible threat to your plans. He got elected with no experience, has no clue how to do the job, and is trying to turn America into a third world nation by ruining the economy and taxing those that have money into poverty.”
“Also sir,” stated another yoma, “he is filling the minds of the children in the government schools with mush that makes them willing followers of his philosophy hating the country, wanting to destroy it, and unable to think for themselves. Its ridiculous how many believe the lies of this “Global Warming” the schools are brainwashing the children to believe in.”
The Lord of Jade listen to the yoma and became concerned by what they were reporting. ‘Did Metalla survive somehow and setup shop somewhere away from the senshi?’ “Show me this person, NOW!”
The first yoma pulled out a viewing crystal that began to show the history of Obama. As the images played, Jedeite’s worry was replaced with a Joker style grin. “He lied to get in office saying he would cut spending, then spends more than all his predecessors combined within the first 90 days! He rams a health care bill down people’s throat that they don’t want that not only costs trillions more than he said it would but gives him the power to decide who live of dies! He has unemployment at 20% but tells the public its only 9%. He says the borders are secure when millions are crossing illegally and thousands are being killed and buried in mass graves because the boarder is not secure. He promised to have more countries like his country, but more hate it now than ever. He not only refuse to acknowledge they exist, but he supports terrorist groups who state that they want to kill every American and Jew in overthrowing American friendly governments. Leaves the Israeli prime minister waiting for hours while he decides to go have dinner and watch tv. Insults England by returning a gift and then giving them dvds that can’t play on their dvd players. Blames all of his failures on his predecessor. And all while being a puppet to a billionaire that made his fortune in destroying governments and their currency. If this man isn’t evil than nothing is.”
“What do you want us to do about this man?” asked yoma #2.
The Lord of Jade sat back in his thrown, grin never leaving his face. “Absolutely nothing! Either he will get four more years and finish destroying America, making it easy for us to take over, or the Americans will wise up and vote this idiot out and spend the next 20 years fixing what Obama messed up in four making it easier for us to take over America.”
“And the muslim terrorists and Iranian nuke program?” asked yoma #1.
“Let the terrorist take over countries with Obama supporting them so that the new governments can declare war on Israel. Let the Iranians have their nukes that the Russians and North Koreans are helping build so they can nuke Israel. Once the world sees that their stupidity in blaming Israel for the hostilities over the years lead to a holocaust by the Muslim extremists that makes Hitler’s look like a scraped knee, World War 3 will start allowing us to take over the world.”
Ranma wasn’t sure of what to make of this whole thing of a princess kidnapping him. Sure he was on a nice soft bed, but he was tied down to it. He had a full stomach with out having to fight his pop, dodge rivals, avoid love potions, or put up with Akane trying to shove her “cooking” down his throat. But the princess would not untie his hands saying that she must feed him herself, thereby making him eat at and excruciating slow pace.
What had Ranma unsure about the entire situation was the fact that the purple-eyed princess was now laying on top of him in the bed with the covers pulled over them and using his chest as a pillow. “So, can you explain again why you are laying on top of me?”
Hotaru didn’t even bother to move her head off her pillow or to even open her eyes. “I want to take a nap, you are in the only bed, that and I have to make sure you don’t escape while I’m asleep.”
Ranma had to admit the logic to the statement. It would be difficult to sneak out with your guard sleeping on top of you, but one thing didn’t quite add up. “Why are you in your underware?”
“Because, my clothes got dirty and I didn’t want my bed to get dirty.”
“Do you usually sleep like this? Wouldn’t it be better to change into what you normally sleep in?” Ranma was really hoping that this would get the girl to go put on some pajamas.
Hotaru looked up at Ranma with a smile on her face that nearly sent him into a panic. The last time he saw that type of smile was on Nabaki when she was going to empty someone’s wallet. The next thing Ranma knew, Hotaru disappeared under the covers and he felt her moving around until he saw a purple bra and panties fly out from under the covers to the side of the bed just before Hotaru’s head and arms reappeared and retook their previous places on him. “Thank you for reminding me. I wouldn’t of gotten much sleep with those on.”
While visions of numerous painful ways he would die when the fiancées found him danced through Ranma’s head:
“Ami, did you find something useful in the contract?”
“Yes, the moon is not a planet”
“PANTIES!”
“BOXERS!”
“PANTIES!”
“BOXER…. MY SON IS SO MANLY!”
“What are you talking abou..” *WHACK*
“OH MY! Auntie, you knocked out your mother during your silly dance.”
“Quick, get some rope so we can tie her up and make her see reason.”
“I’m afraid that father and uncle used the last of the rope playing with grandfather Happosai.”
“Then find SOMETHING ELSE!”
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(Posted Fri, 13 May 2011 09:27)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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