Okay, there was Sasuke Uchiha. That he used a shampoo-conditioner was indication that he wasn't ENTIRELY a vengeance-haunted anally obsessive.
Second, the pink haired girl who spent most of her time looking at Sasuke.
Third, Naruto... who was missing. Hadn't he been there just a moment ago?
"Naruto. Knock it off," said Kakashi, who had heard a few stories regarding some of Naruto's little antics.
"Eh?" asked Sasuke and Sakura, neither of whom had noticed.
"uh oh," said Sasuke as the absence of Naruto was noted. "Naruto's gone."
"Oh heck," said Sakura, beginning to check herself and then the immediate environs.
"You sure he's not just hiding nearby?" asked Kakashi.
"Naruto must have gotten bored," said Sasuke, the tone of his voice indicating that this was Very Bad.
"And this means?" asked Kakashi.
"Found one," reported Sakura. "Check your right sandal, Sasuke."
Sasuke carefully removed that sandal and then looked askance at the little square piece of paper stuck to the bottom. "Any idea what this one does?"
"Fuuinjutsu?" asked Kakashi. "I thought Naruto was the dead last of his class."
"Because he doodles on the tests, among other things," said Sasuke, carefully putting the piece of paper way over to the side. "Though wasn't that 'troublesome' kid the deadlast?"
"Ah hah, here's another one," said Sakura, carefully peeling one off the corner of a table. "I think this one is a -"
The paper sent out a tiny tendril of smoke, causing Sakura's expression to change from triumphant to a level of 'oh crap' that Kakashi would normally associate with S-Rank Criminals jumping out from ambush.
KA POFF!
There was a brief explosion of smoke. Pink, Kakashi couldn't help but note. The very shade of Sakura's hair in fact.
When the smoke cleared, Sakura was standing there with her eyes closed and looking quite nervous. "Sa-Sasuke?"
"No bugs, snakes, worms, or other creatures," noted Sasuke. "It just changed your outfit."
Sakura frowned, but kept her eyes closed. "What. Am. I. Wearing?" Each word was bitten off and sounding a little angrier than the last word.
"It's very nice," said Kakashi. "Looks warm."
Sakura slowly opened one eye and started looking. "I'm wearing a plushy bunny costume."
"No zipper," pointed out Sasuke. Not mentioning that it looked like plushy pajamas that covered her entire body except for her face and hands. Including oversized slippers, hood with long bunny ears, and a little bunny tail. Nor did he mention that he thought this had a potential use as Sakura currently couldn't reach her various ninja tools.
"Naruto," said Sakura sweetly. "If you don't get me out of this outfit fast, I will kill you."
"So I wonder what this does?" asked Sasuke, considering throwing a kunai at the innocent-seeming piece of paper. Finally he just went ahead and did it, ready to duck behind a desk.
KA POFF!
"I see he's been experimenting with ninja wire, sealing scrolls, and explosive seals," noted Kakashi Hatake.
"Spider web of ninja wire covering the room," noted Sasuke, his voice thoughtful. "Okay. This might just actually be one of his useful ones."
"They're not anchored well," said Sakura, reaching up and grabbing a wire. "I can just pull it loose... why is it sticky?"
"You did that the last time," pointed out Sasuke. "And the web was more a tangle then. Hmmm. Blue tint on some of the strands."
"Poison?" asked Kakashi, a little alarm. "He'd poison his comrades?"
Sakura giggled, then straightened up. "oh no."
"He doesn't use fatal poisons," said Sasuke. "It looks like what he calls 'Humor Venom.'"
Sakura snorted, then she giggled, and then fell over laughing as if she just literally couldn't stop.
"Yup," said Sasuke. "That's Naruto's 'Patent Pending Laugh Until You Pee Yourself Humor Venom' no jutsu."
"I'm BWAHAHAHA gonna HEEE HEE HEEE kill AHAHAHAHA that (giggle snort) idiohahahahahahaha!" managed Sakura.
"Well, at least it's not a fatal poison," said Kakashi.
"So far I've seen 'sleep venom', 'tear gas', and 'glitterdust'," said Sasuke. "Apparently he came up with that last one to fool the Byakugan."
"I see," said Kakashi.
"I've also seen him working on explosive tags that do something besides a fireball," said Sasuke. "But I don't think he's got them working right. He tried to combine water and wind once and just made everything in the room soggy."
"Oh," said Kakashi as Sakura stopped laughing by apparently passing out.
"My ambition is to kill someone who desperately needs it," responded Sasuke.
"And to hear the lamentation of his women?" asked Naruto.
"Shut UP, Naruto," said a still-irritated Sakura.
"You next pinky," said Kakashi.
"I like... (blush giggle) "I want..." (blush giggle-look at Sasuke) "My dream is... And I HATE Naruto!"
"Okay, THAT was informational," said Kakashi.
"Meh," said Naruto, giving Sakura a brief hurt look before continuing. "Naruto Uzumaki. Last of the clan Uzumaki from Ushiogakure. Fuuinjutsu, shadow clones, stealth ops, and general wiseassery my specialty."
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "'General wiseassery'?"
"Too much trouble to be a specialist wiseass," replied Naruto. "I want to become a great Hokage, after I graduate from wiseass to badass."
"Oh, well, that sounds... interesting," said Kakashi.
"So, Kakashi-sensei, can you possibly come up with a two-genin mission so we can leave Naruto behind?" asked Sakura hopefully. After all, Naruto would ask her out, she would hit him, followed by him either moping or pulling a prank later on.
Sakura blinked as a thought occurred to her. Maybe she could get him interested in Ino or some OTHER girl. Then she could continue to pursue Sasuke and Naruto would leave her alone! Sakura's expression went to a cunning-evil-scary one that caused Sasuke to move just a little bit further away.
"Oh, tomorrow you've got some training," said Kakashi, going into evil-sensei mode. "In fact, you guys are going to hate this..."
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(Posted Wed, 09 Mar 2011 15:38)
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