[Episode 249005] [Episode 249005]Theo whistled a jaunty tune as he walked down the corridor of the Conclave, feeling no fear for being summoned before his fellow mages on the council. After all, the air was crispy, the wind cool, the day feeling joyous…
The two hour nooner he had just come off of before receiving the summons, and the thrity minute ‘clean-up’ afterwards…
Yes, he was riding an all-natural high!
And besides, what could they possibly need him for? No major doom was looming about, nothing in the last agenda came to mind that hinted at something horrible.
Yes, it was probably something routine, maybe some new spell, maybe something one of his sweet, innocent daughters had unleashed; nothing for him to worry about.
“Enter!” came the call as he approached the doors.
With a shrug, he stepped forward, the doors opening on their own, as they had been enchanted to do, and he stepped forward.
Yep, nothing could ruin this day for him! Hell, he might just go home afterwards and harass a few of his daughters’ former suitors, just for old time’s sake.
“Hmm,” Theo muttered, looking at the glaring faces of his fellow mages, and the seat he was being directed to … which had a guillotine on the back. “Well, this isn’t good.”
“Come good, Theodore,” Shaman Houngan said as he raised his arms, motioning Theodore to sit down. “There is much to discuss and we wish you’re comfortable before we rap—discuss a certain situation that has arisen that is part of your field of expertise,” the Conclave’s head of Voodoo Magic proclaimed with a smile, his bright white teeth a stark contrast to his dark skin and ebony-black dreadlocks.
The Conclave of Mages was a ruling council comprised of the most powerful Mages of both the Jade and Earth Realms. They functioned as a combination school board, scholastic/library resource, legal authority, and judicial system for anything pertaining to Magic... so why would—
Wait … judicial system…
FUCK!
“Is … there a problem?” Theo asked, slowly—ever so slowly—making his way to the seat, using his Aura-Sight to ensure there were no surprises.
They may be asking judicial, but he knew more than a few wouldn’t mind trying to slip a prank or two into it.
“We will discuss it shortly,” Merlin stated, with a calm wave. “Why don’t you have a seat?”
Suddenly, Theo also started looking for hidden cameras, though he didn’t know why.
“Oh … all right,” the Conclave’s head of Aura Magic replied, beginning to wish he hadn't taken up his Teacher’s Gniess’s offer to take over when the old man retired from the Mage Council. Making his way over to the chair, the man sat down slowly. As nothing exploded, no guillotine came down, any of the Mages stand up and start attacking him, nor Chris Hansen come out to say there was no little girl…
Well, he wouldn't say he was exactly ‘safe’ but this was certainly a good sign. “S-so…” Dr. Theodore Diggers said slowly, before restarting with a bit more confidence in his voice. “What is it the Conclave wishes to speak to me about?”
Lord Mecco was the first to speak. “Dr. Diggers,” he started.
Theo gulped; proper names, no first, never a good sign of things to come. Oh; how he wished he had brought along one of Gina’s Light Gate devices … in case he received an emergency beacon and had to leave quickly!
Sighing heavily, the Plains Elf straightened his posture. “Do you perchance remember an important event that occurred about a month ago, say around what Earth Realm’s calendar refers to as Thursday, the 25th?”
Theo blinked, his expert mind recalling that day from his memories. “Nothing comes to mind, no.”
“No?” the Lord of the Elven races asked. “Are you not someone who takes their duties as a member of the Conclave of Mages seriously?”
“Of course I am,” Theodore replied, noticing how the others seemed to become less impressed with him as they glared—Christ, did Mumsey tell them something about him he didn't know? “I have done everything I can to help keep Magic Abuse down as well as keep tabs on the magical goings-on that take place in the Earth Realm!”
“Yes, yes, all well and good,” Queen T’Mat stated, drumming her fingers on the Conclave’s dais. “If your mind is as sharp as we hear you claim, do you recall us asking you to attend the Rebirth Ceremony of Lord Saffron?”
Thinking back a bit, Theo closed his eyes, allowing his magic to boost his recall. Finally, he opened them and smiled. “Yes; as I recall, it was Mamori who asked if I would be so kind to attend that ceremony.”
“And did you attend?” Mamori, the kitsune, asked.
“No; I was rather forcibly detained to attend to another matter,” Theo responded.
“And where were you ‘detained’, instead of attending Saffron’s ceremony, like this council asked?” King Shamus, the leprechaun, asked.
Closing his eyes again, Theo recalled…
“Look, dear,” his youth-restored wife purred. “I can get both my heels behind my ears without having back spasms!”
“… Something extremely important, that left me bedridden for two days,” he replied with utmost seriousness.
“We need more than that?” asked Bungie.
Theo nodded. “I did battle alongside the Armsmaster, and she has sworn me to the utmost secrecy over what occurred.” He had to keep it secret, especially if he wanted to do that again.
“Ah … so you claim a period of convalescents as to why you were unable to perform your duty,” Karia said... although having been Julia’s best friend, she had an inkling as to WHAT had just caused the need for the Arch Aura Mage to be ‘broken’ for several days.
“Yes, I... wait...” Theodore said slowly. “Unable to perform my duty?”
Queen T'Mat nodded her head. “You missed Lord Saffron’s Rebirth Ceremony... and it went horribly, horribly wrong.”
Theodore blinked his eyes once, twice. “What happened to the Head of Divine Magic? Did he come back ... ‘wrong’?” he asked slowly, remembering what happened to his own father.
“Oh, no, there was nothing wrong with the Ceremony,"” the ruler of all Dragon races replied. “Saffron was aged to the correct state and everything went off without a hitch…”
The Arch Aura Mage let off a sigh of relief. “Well, thank goodne—”
“Until he was killed again eight minutes later,” the female platinum dragon added sourly.
Theo just baulked. “Wait; someone killed an immortal phoenix-man at the height of his power?!”
“Well, to be correct,” Balthazar offered, “the ceremony was interrupted, his people failed to raise him with the values he required of them, and someone forgot to force-feed him his memories of his previous incarnations; meaning all the idiot knew how to do was burn shit up.”
“Yes,” De’em spoke. “Why, just recently, his new incarnation just learned how to piss in an arc to hit the one changing his diaper.”
“Of course, he’ll have to age naturally again,” Merlin stated. “And considering how well his people did raising him the last time, we now have to staff a contingent of mages to ensure they don’t fuck it up once more, and you know how they feel about ‘landlings’,” he spoke.
Theo nodded. By magic, he was going to be stationed in the middle of nowhere until his beard touched his balls!
Just like Balthazar’s! And the only reason HE was on the Council again was because it was him that got rid of the dreaded “Questing Dragon” Fauntleroy.
“So…” he said slowly. “You intend to have me follow up on this?” he asked, hoping perhaps at best, he'd be stuck raising the kid. Wouldn't be the first time; he raised Britanny pretty well, even if she was an “overweight, spoiled housecat” by most werecat standards who had this annoying concept of “true love” rather than playing her part in restoring the werecheetah race by popping out kids until her “v” tore through on to her “a”…
“Yes,” Merigold said. Being one of Theodore’s friends, she felt he might take the news coming from her the best. Granted, Shamus was his friend too but she lost the coin toss.
“We need you to go after Saffron’s murderer.”
Theo blinked. Okay, better than raising a pyro from diapers—he was so glad Gina got out of her ‘scientific burning of things’ phase. “No problem; just tell me the facts and I’ll have him here before dinner!”
Of course, if he had to bring the being here, they’d probably be tried—and depending on how many of the council still felt Saffron was in the right or just owed the flaming turkey a favor—be sentenced before bedtime. But that was something Theo could worry about when it wasn’t his mage-suit covered ass on the line.
“They didn’t steal the Gekkaja or the Kinjakan, did they?” If they had those weapons of Saffron’s, then it might take a little more than the few hours Theo was considering.
“… Maybe…” Merigold slowly replied. “He was stated as having used the Gekkaja, the Staff of Ice, as the Weapon to use against Saffron, using its ability to increase his power… But it is unknown at this time whether it is still in his possession or not.” She took a deep breath and tried to merrily add, “But we do know the Kinjakan is in the possession of the Phoenix people at this time, so you don't have to worry about the youth burning you alive!”
Theodore blinked his eyes once, twice. “… Youth?”
“Yes,” Mamori replied. “A seventeen-year-old Japanese teenager, who, if our contacts with the Chinese Amazons are accurate, will be eighteen in a week and can be legally tried as an adult.”
Marigold glared at the male kitsune. “From what I read in the report, it was nearly all a case of self-defense!”
Mamori snorted. “They broke into the place, it isn’t self-defense after that.”
“He was seventeen at the time!”
“Fine; we’ll try him as a seventeen year old adult.”
Theo just gawked. He hadn’t seen the members of the council this bloodthirsty since the great debate of ‘less filling, tastes great’.
“Now send Dr. Diggers off, have him return the brat here, we can have him sit in that chair and pull the rope.”
… Okay, maybe they were a bit more bloodthirsty now.
“There are other considerations,” Merlin spoke loudly, trying to silence the others.
The man let out a breath of relief as the others calmed down a little and turned to look his way. The head of the Conclave then spoke, “We have heard from the Phoenix People themselves, in particular Saffron’s Retainer Kiima, that the ‘Landlings’ had only gotten involved because Saffron's Ceremony was stealing Magic from the Cursed Spring of Jusenkyo, and that they needed the waters to lift curses placed upon then.”
“But only in theory,” Balthazar said, the Mage in Charge of all Polymorph and Shape-Shifting Magic. “My studies into Jusenkyo indicate that even if they took a bath in the Cursed Spring appropriate to their true form, that it would merely mix the curses rather than act as a cure! They attacked a rare magic race out of sheer misinformation!”
“Is there a cure?” Marigold asked.
“Hell if I know,” Balthazar shrugged.
“Did they even inquire if a cure was possible, or if the waters might return after the ceremony was complete?” Mamori asked.
“Not mentioned in the report,” De’em replied.
“I see many of you are forgetting just what was mentioned in the report,” Merlin stated.
“And that would be?” the kitsune questioned.
Merlin glared at him. “It stated that though his power was only at ninety percent, and armed with the Kinjakan; that Saffron was defeated by the teen, which only possessed the Gekkaja and a meager arsenal of martial arts techniques.
“No magic—aside from those weapons—was used by the teen.
“Certainly, I don’t have to explain to this council, just what would occur should such news get out.”
Seeing many of the others—including Theo—staring at Merlin, Queen T’Mat sighed. “Just tell them before we start smelling their brains trying to work it out on their own.”
“Actually, I can do it,” the Shadow Elf Master Ecko said as he walked into the room, his bodyguard, student, and adopted son, the Weaponsmaster Rhaoton, beside him.
Merlin frowned. “You’re rather late, Master Ecko.”
“Well, when you get to be 40,000-years-old, please let me know how easy it is for YOU to go to the bathroom,” the man grumbled as he slowly took his seat as Merlin sighed. “As for how important the statement is of the youth beating a Phoenix without magic, depending only on his own merits … let me put it this way.
“Why do we have the Armsmaster?
“The Armsmaster is the title that had been given to the warrior who, with the weapons my people gave him, had managed to take down the Shadows that had enslaved the Jade Realm. Of course, it is up to the Council of Mages to run things; but the people crave the might of a “hero” … and if they should learn that one of such power was taken down by a mere human...
“Well … there was a reason the Armsmaster is given a seat on the council, to appease the masses and show that they have one of their own with us, who is an equal.”
He looked around. “And if they REALIZE the warriors are not equal but our betters … no more Conclave … no more taxes … no more cushy jobs!”
The others stared in shock, eyes wide—except for Theo, who was so going to tell his wife they said that about her—as the meaning began to creep into their minds.
“Imagine, if your minds can still process things,” Queen T’Mat continued, “what more could happen if they learn this mere mortal came from Earth Realm and did such, or maybe hear the reported reasons of why he faced Lord Saffron a second time? Perhaps how he defeated the phoenix with a barely functional magical artifact that hardly lent any help?”
“That’s not in the report,” Mamori replied.
“And you think they will take our report as a complete truth?” the platinum dragon asked. “No; as the tale grows, so will exaggerations, and eventually, a spark will be lit, where the people of this world will ask if we too can be defeated, and come to challenge us when their frustrations at us reach a fevered pitch.”
Nali nodded her head. “As a Healer first and a member of the Conclave second, I see that people take hope wherever they can get it. Admittedly, we are not bad people; but the fact is we’re not all exactly ‘beloved’ by the many peoples of Jade... Hell, many of the races still have an axe to grind with our decision to end the Orkist Raids thirty years ago, preventing what would have been the start of the Reclamation Wars due to territory disputes by just deciding who got what land!”
Marigold nodded. “I know for a fact my people are still pissed off as all hell that you gave the Orkist Republic OUR homeland of the Dweomer Spire! And let's not forget the Werecats who had been disposed from both the Northern AND Southern Forst Forest Domains, forever without a true home to call their own because after divvying up the map, we realized there was no room for them anywhere because of how we SUPPOSEDLY took everyone’s ‘needs’ into account!”
Yes, Merigold was still bitter over that. She had been a child when the Orks destroyed her home a hundred years ago and the bastards had gotten away scot-free because the Conclave was afraid of a war of untold devastation that was likely to arise on all sides as people got fed up when the Orks began their raids a second time seventy years later, taking over the lands that had belonged to the werecats.
“Merigold is right,” Lord Mecco agreed. “To TRY and make room, MY people were forced into Exthillion’s ‘Retreat’, when they would MUCH prefer to be on the Jade Realm proper. We weren’t the only ones; the Dwarves forced into the Continental Pocket of New Monnoir, while the Werecats were put into Jag’s Lair, while those whose numbers went past what the small pocket could fit were sent to Seer’s Hamlet! But I still get much back-talk from the younger generation of Elves because of the decision and I’m their LEADER!”
“And let’s not even get into the situation with Cobalds, who insist on getting back into the Ashland Forests where they once lived with the Ashlanders, refusing to believe that one area CAN’T support two different dominant species, and the Ashlanders had seniority in presence there,” the Platinum Dragon replied. “But it’s obvious what all this has caused,” Queen T'Mat said quickly, shifting gears.
“The past three solid decades of our rule has left the people, and I quote, ‘royally pissed off’, because we passed what has become known as the ‘Edge Guard Pact’. We forcibly made them declare peace and accept our decisions, of who goes where, who gets what and why, AND setting up a Martial Law-Level of Enforcers to maintain said peace, damn the consequences! It’s no wonder there’s more than a minority of races or small back-water villages that are fed up with how we’ve chosen to run things.”
The five-tailed Kitsune nodded his head firmly. “Which means, when—and I do not mean if but WHEN—they find out that one of the strongest members who was about to return to reclaim his seat on the Mage Council was beaten by a mere human with minimal magical might, we are going to see the start of what could very well be a rebellion on our hands; a revolution!”
Theo just continued to stare with wide eyes as the members of the council not in the wooden hot seat with the guillotine on the back continued to chatter about the possibilities of a revolution. Granted, he knew things were bad, but he had no idea how bad.
Looking back, he would acknowledge now that during the last series of meetings, he probably should have paid attention, and not dreamt of the pure hot encounters with his wife, her sensual grace as she climbed towards him, her smile pouring out hot sensuality, the way her nipples—
“Dr. Diggers!”
“Huh? What?” asked Theo, quickly wiping some drool off his chin.
“Dr. Diggers,” Queen T'Mat spoke louder, “I asked if you would please contact your wife and bring her here, so that we may make a formal request of the Armsmaster to find this Slayer of Saffron! As an honorary member of the Conclave of Mages, it is her duty to aid the Mage Council in our time of need!”
Theodore smiled. “You mean I can get up from the chair and retrieve her?”
“No, we merely need you to send a Scrying Crystal with a pre-recorded message,” Chief Running Buffalo said as he held the green gem in front of Theo’s face with his right hand and pressed a tomahawk behind the Arch Aura Mage, between his shoulder blades. “Say ‘start’ and make it quick.”
“… Help me, Sweet Redhead Honey! You’re my only hope!”
“A little more detail,” Karia insisted.
Julia just looked at the crystal, having played the message twice, before standing up. Making her way to the kitchen, she bypassed the fridge, heading straight to a secret wall compartment, opening it, retrieving a very high-proof bottle of Elven Brandy, and consumed have a quart before closing her eyes.
“I was stuck there for nearly two decades,” she growled, being careful not to crush the bottle and waste the precious brandy, “and now they want me at their f’ing club meeting … to catch a boy!”
Cracking her neck twice, Julia took another swig of the bottle, before heading for her ‘special room’.
No, the other room, not the one she and Theo used nightly. She wanted the one with her sword from the tournament and a few ‘specials’ from her adventuring day … just in case she decided to lead the revolution herself.
“Oh, I’ll attend,” she stated gravely. “And they might wish I never graced their precious halls!”
“Is she coming?” De’em asked. “She hasn’t replied to the crystal yet.”
“Be patient! Be patient!” Theodore said in all seriousness. “I’m sure my dear, loving wife will be here to aid her loving husband in his time of need.”
BOOM!
The doors to the chamber exploded off their hinges, flying into the room before sliding along the floor, missing Theo in his seat, and finally hitting the dais.
“Hello, all!” Julia cried, dressed in armor, sword at the ready, and a somewhat mad gleam in her eye. “Sorry I’m late, but since this was the first meeting I actually got an invite to, I had a little trouble getting here!
“Now, I want answers; answers that if I don’t get, then Viva la Revolution!”
The Queen of the Dragon races sighed. “Armsmaster Julia Diggers, please come over here; we have a special seat just for you.”
Julia looked over and saw a tall stool in the corner of the room and twitched. “You’re joking, right?” she looked around, pausing as she saw a damned six-legged horse sitting down. “For Christ’s sake! The damn My Little Pony has a fucking plush leather seat!”
“HEY!” a voice that sounded akin to Barry White spoke up. Everyone turned to look at the Pegasus who huffed. “I deserve this seat! I am a boy but because of a quirk of birth I’m lightish red! But worse, my parents named me Buttercup! BUTTERCUP! I’m a boy!”
Julia glared at the big pony with wings. “Look, bitch, I can appreciate you trying to keep your masculinity; but we have a word for lightish red: PINK!”
The Pegasus glared at Julia for a minute … before his lip quivered … his eyes misted…
“WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!” the Pegasus Prince wailed, as he turned tail and ran out of the Conclave building.
No one was sure if they should mention the dust of glitter that seemed to sparkle and float in the heir of the Sparkle Family's wake.
“… Are you quite done?” Merlin asked, as a few of the mages peeled off to hopefully escape the bloodshed they foresaw coming go see to their emotionally damaged friend.
“Oh, I’m just getting started,” Julia growled. “Once again, reasons or pounds of flesh, kilograms for the non-metric challenged!”
Rubbing his forehead, Merlin took a moment to gather his thoughts—being head of a governing body did tend to feed one’s ego and he was certain he could defeat the Armsmaster.
He just wasn’t certain some of his fellow council members wouldn’t turn on him to be on what they thought might be the winning side of La Revolution!
“Fine, Armsmaster Julia Brigand, you may take one of the seats that have been vacated at either side of your husband,” the Head of the Mage Council spoke as Theo quickly resumed his normal seat on the dais. “There is much to speak of and very little time. The more we spend here, the greater a chance a certain bo—MAN that tried to assassinate one of the Conclave's greater members has a chance to attain more power.”
“… And you want me to … what? Shake his hand? Introduce him to my daughters?”
“SPOON!”
“Quiet, dear; adults are talking,” Julia offered, her eyes never leaving Merlin. “Now which ass got toasted and please give me the facts behind it, true facts at that, or we may end up with another member getting ‘assassinated’.”
Diplomacy: Mumsey Brigand style.
Merlin frowned but held up the notes. “Lord Saffron, Physical God of the Phoenix people, the last tribe in any realm; he was the Conclave's Head of Divine and Elemental Magic and had recently been reincarnated; his ceremony having been a success … only for him to have been killed again in, and it was timed, eight minutes later.”
“… That's it?” Julia asked.
“No, that’s not ‘it’, you see—”
“NO!” the Armsmaster shouted. “Do not give me this bullshit! You said he was a Phoenix; don’t they ETERNALLY reincarnate?”
“… Well … yes,” the Head of the Mage Council admitted. “But we—”
“BUT NOTHING!” the redheaded woman snapped. “Oh boo-hoo! So he’s going to be in diapers again for another couple years and have to go through a childhood again! You know, with all his past lives, I’m SURE he could join the Council at age five! It’s not like he’d be the shortest one here!”
“HEY!” King Shamus shouted up at Julia.
“If I may,” Theo stated, he walked over to his wife—hoping she didn’t have a thing against innocent bystanders who fully supported her and most certainly did not want to end up spending the rest of his existence on the couch—and handed her the file. “Even I was a bit surprised at how non-partial it is.”
Snorting a bit of air out her nose, Julia took the file and made her way to the vacated seat of the pink lightish red Pegasus.
She then proceeded to put her legs up on the table, leaned back, and started to read.
“As you can see—” Merlin began.
“Ssh!”
“I was—”
“Ssh! Reading,” Julia responded, pulling out a dagger and flipping it in her free hand.
Watching the dagger get tossed and caught with one hand—the woman not even looking at it—Merlin decided the wisest choice of action was indeed to shut up and let her do just that.
Many watched Julia's expression as she read. A raised eyebrow … another raised eyebrow … furrowing of both eyebrows…
That smile … dear thousand gods, THAT SMILE!
“SNRK!” was the loud noise of Julia’s barely repressed snicker. “Oh … oh this is rich,” she said slowly. Finally, she placed it down and looked up at the head of the Conclave of Mages. “So, Merlin … what do you want me to do? Do you wish me to find this boy who was very well within his rights to save his fiancée and offer him a cash settlement in the hopes he won’t sue you guys?”
“Eh-excuse me?” Merlin asked.
Julia frowned again. “It’s all here, black and white. It says that they nearly DROWNED his fiancée so one could take a cursed form of her, turned the real girl into a dehydrated doll, refused their pleas for help from the get-go BECAUSE they were simply humans… OH, and apparently, they also had eggs they used to try and brainwash people; oh yeah! A REAL winner you have here for a member of your Conclave!”
Seeing their disbelieving stares—and wishing she had a camera, the locals papers would pay top coin for that—she looked at her husband. “Dear; quick Q: why don’t you just stuff his memories into his brat form?” she asked, remembering the curious bit about how his memories were stored for later retrieval.
“Well, he tends to … explode if that is done in any form other than his fully empowered adult form,” Theo offered. His teacher had shown him that viewing crystal, for ‘just in case your ass considers taking a shortcut’.
Luckily, that desert was slowly returning to a rainforest … after five hundred years, and from the recordings, this new Conclave was much nicer. It even had running water of both the hot and cold variety.
“Ah,” Julia replied, nodding.
“So, let’s face facts,” she started, “even if the kid and his cohorts started off badly, Saffron took ‘Overkill’ to a level most wabbits would vomit at, got his flaming turkey ass handed to him, and the Phoenix Tribe doesn’t seem too upset that the leader who was ready to waste them all during a fight was returned to a child.
“Honestly, I’m more likely to send Mumsey after him to shake his hand.” Actually, her mother would probably try and set him up with her, commenting how old and worn down Theo was, or even find another barbarian to seduce the teen.
He was a male, after all, and thinking with the upper brain was not their best trait.
Merlin began to sweat bullets. “Armsmaster Brigand, you cannot be serious!”
“I sure as the Nine Hells am!” the warrior of Jade’s Barbarian Tribe snapped. “It’s like I said; yeah, from what is stated here, the boy and his friends DID start things off on the wrong foot.
“But then it was the Phoenix who kept harassing him and his friends as if it were a personal vendetta! THEY made the mountain out of the mole-hill, NOT the boy!”
“… Does this mean we’re not going to get to try him as an adult?” Mamori asked curiously, a tone of disappointment evident in his words.
Julia just glared at him. “I’m more likely to bring him here and let him lose on you … in a room … by yourself.”
“… A pity,” the kitsune replied.
“Well then,” Theo stood, clapping his hands together, “now that Plan A has failed miserably—as I knew it would, let us move to Plan B, created while we were waiting for you!”
“It better not be seduction,” Julia growled. If they asked her here to pimp herself out to save their asses, Jade was about to have a rapid leadership change.
“I wish,” Marigold said sadly. Damn it, dwarfs needed lovin’ too!
“No,” Merlin bit out, staring at the now depressed female members of the council—it hadn’t helped that Queen T’Mat had chimed in with, “I had worse,” during the discussion.
“We need you to bring young Saotome here for … for…”
“Yes?” Julia asked with a smile. She didn’t know what he was about to say, but the fact he was stuttering, twitching, and looked about ready to vomit, only told her that this was probably the best option.
“T-t-t-t-training!” Merlin bit out. By Magic, he felt dirty.
That made the redheaded woman blink. “Wait. Training? You wish to train the boy?”
“… Yes,” the dark, bearded African male replied as he took out a handkerchief and wiped his brow. “If we cannot stop the rumors, then we might as well make the best of it … make it seem that we set the boy up to take down Saffraon ourselves; cook up a story that we saw what was happening and had to take action, lest Saffron destroy Jade.”
Now the woman was frowning again. “In other words, take the credit for the boy’s accomplishments.”
“We’ll make it worth his while,” Merlin said firmly. “We’ll give him training and other boons! For example, we DO know he’s looking for a cure to his curse. Perhaps Belthazar can come up with something!”
“Oh, SURE! Put it all on MY shoulders!” the old man huffed. “Wasn’t Fauntleroy enough!?”
“Not really, no,” Shaman Houngan replied, earning a glare.
Rubbing her own brow, Julia sighed. “And exactly what do you have on the teen to even suggest he would accept this?”
“Actually … you have all we know,” Theo offered, refusing to acknowledge the glares from some of his fellow magi.
“Ah, mother fu—” Julia started, before glaring at the council. Really; it would be so easy to end this all now. Theo’s silence would be bought with that new little number she purchased just this morning.
Shit; did she really want to rule an entire realm? Fuck no!
That was one of the reasons WHY she’d never gone to any of the Conclave’s meetings in the first place. Let THEM have the headaches!
Finally, the woman decided her course of action. “Husband,” she said firmly as she looked over at the Arch Aura Mage.
“Uh, yes, my little honey-bunches of nuts and wild oats?” he asked, trying to sound sweet and loving, although being as nervous as he was, it was difficult to come up with really good material at the moment.
Rolling her eyes, the redhead continued, “You're coming with me! We're going to find this Ranma Sa… Sayo…” she looked at the paperwork again. “How in the Nine Hells do you even pronounce this last name?”
“Saotome. Ssaow~toe~may,” Dr. Diggers enunciated for his wife.
“Right,” she said. “You and I are going to find this Ranma Saotome, talk to him about Jusendo, get his opinion, give him a little gold for his efforts, and talk to him about coming back with us.” Before Merlin could speak, she snarled, “I am NOT bringing him here against his will!”
Mamori sighed heavily. “These meetings used to be ever so much fun.”
“Whatever,” Melrin replied. “Fine, do as you wish!
“But know this: I and this council shall take whatever steps we need to keep Jade from falling into a Civil War!”
Julia snorted. Like that was a promise she should look forward to being kept. The council hadn’t done anything to help keep the peace since…
Actually, had they ever helped keep the peace?
Whatever, she thought. “Fine, whatever; now, where is this teen now?”
“…”
“W~ow,” she muttered. “It’s like I’m dealing with public school principals all over again.”
“We believe he is currently somewhere in Japan,” De’em offered.
Julia twitched. “Oh, yeah! An Asian kid in the most densely populated Asian country in the world; no problem!”
“Reallly?” Merlin asked, relaxing a little.
“Fuck yeah it’s a problem!” Julia suddenly snapped. “It’ll be like trying to find a needle in a haystack!!”
“Perhaps,” Merlin replied, before smiling. “Why, it sounds like a job for a member of this council!
“All in favor of electing Armsmaster Julia Diggers to the task, say, ‘Nine Hells Yea!’”
“Nine Hells Yea!”
“Opposed?”
“I don’t wanna die!” Theo cried.
“Yeas have it; off you go on your official mission!” Merlin cried.
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(Posted Sat, 20 Aug 2011 00:09)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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