“Welcome to the Tokyo International Dimensional Gateway,” the bureaucratic drone mumbled, not even looking up from his comic. “Please state your name or names, as well as business within the greater Japanese domain.
Julia just glared at the drone; still upset over the ‘mission’ she had been given.
Theo sighed, hoping to appease his wife and keep the death count low. “Theo and Julia Diggers, Arch Mage of the Conclave and Armsmaster, in that order, here to talk to one, Ranma Saotome.”
The Japanese man in black suit placed his manga down and stared up at the two … before bursting out laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Julia snarled, hands on her hips and wondering if she angled her foot enough, she could kill him by kicking him in the crotch and firing a piece of his pelvic bone up into his lungs.
“You…” he snickered. “Oh, that’s rich! You think YOU can catch THE Ranma Saotome!”
“Um, no,” Theo muttered, as he wondered if the man was going to lose bowel control from laughing so hard.
Luckily, if one judged by the smell, the answer was not yet, at least. “We have come to see him about a proposal from the Conclave of Jade.”
Getting his snickering under control, the man put his comic away, deciding these two needed his full attention … if for nothing else than a better story to tell. “Okay, as you request deals with one: Ranma Saotome, you must answer these questions.
“Does this involve a marriage promise of any shape or form?”
Theodore blinked his eyes once, twice. “No. What would that have to do with anything?”
The man blinked his eyes once, twice. He then picked up his cell phone and dialed a number. “Hello, San? Yeah, it’s Yoichiro; someone actually came here looking for Saotome but with no need for a marriage fulfillment! Yes, really! Check the Betting Pool for me will you? Okay, bye.” He then closed his cell phone.
The redheaded woman twitched. “What the hell did that mean—”
“Second question,” the bureaucrat spoke up, interrupting Jade’s Armsmaster. “Does this have to do with a possible cure for any of the following: fiancée snafu, Jusenkyo curse, evasion of education, Neko-Ken trauma or his old man? Yes, we DO consider his father to be a bane of existence.”
The Arch Aura Mage blinked his eyes once, twice. “… There may possibly be something to do about his Jusenkyo Curse; no guarantees though.”
“… Fuck,” the man mumbled, before pulling out a small booklet and thumbing through it several times.
“If the answer is … turn to page … and if the response is …”
Julia’s eyes twitched. It had happened; she had found the one magical institution more bogged down in bureaucratic dogma than the Conclave.
Sighing, the man looked at them with hopeful eyes. “Are you certain this has nothing to do with marriage?”
“… Yes; quite certain,” Julia said with as much harshness as her voice could carry.
The man seemed only saddened by this, no more. “Damn,” he replied, turning back to the book. “We may need to call a supervisor in here for this.”
The redheaded woman snarled. “Oh, for the love of your Christian God!”
“I’m Buddhist,” he said quickly, still thumbing through his ‘Saotome: Ranma’ Booklet.
“Whatever!!” the redhead roared. “Just let us out of the area so we can head out to get the boy!”
Looking up at her from his booklet, the man in a simple black suit inquired, “Do you know where to find him?”
Opening her mouth to respond harshly to his query … the Armsmaster paused for a moment before shutting her jaw with an audible click. “No, not really.”
“Then you’ll stay through the procedure until we find out the proper way to handle this,” he said in all seriousness. “After all, after a special meeting of the Diet, the local Insurance companies AND with the blessing of the Emperor, it’s been decided for legal reasons that Ranma isn’t a person: he’s a force of nature.”
Behind said man, a woman walking by blinked. “A Ranma Saotome issue?”
“Yep,” the man replied, flipping pages.
“This isn’t another one like that green-haired succubus who insisted he was engaged to her fuchsia-haired clone/sister/piece of her soul?” the woman asked.
Blinking, the man turned towards her. “Not that I know of.”
“Good; that’s still up in the Jade Court of the Emperor,” the woman sighed. Nothing worse than when you had to send an issue up to a higher level of bureaucratic hell. Although, that would be the first case of the prospective fiancée being excited the fiancé had several engagements already, and not in the manner of hoping to ditch her own.
The paperwork was impossible!
“Hold up,” Julia said in all seriousness. As the two Japanese bureaucrats turned to look at her, the tall woman of Jade’s Barbarian Tribe asked, “Obviously, you two know about Ranma Saotome; but what’s this about him being classified as a force of nature?”
“Hold on,” the Japanese woman said as she placed her umbrella down and leaned it up against the man’s desk. She pulled an iPad Touch out of her coat’s pocket. “Give me a moment, I can probably find this on YouVision…” she said in all seriousness.
Blinking his eyes once, twice, the gray-haired, goateed male asked, “Find what?”
She smiled and held up her iPad for both to see. “This.”
An Actor in black clothes with long wavy brown hair and more than a few bruises and bandages walked into the Tendo Dojo, smiling. “Hey. I’m Ranma Saotome … and I just pissed off Akane by telling that bitch I didn’t like her cooking one bit.”
Snarling, the youngest Tendo daughter brought out her mallet. “RANMA NO BAKA!”
*WHACK*!
The scene shifted: the man came crashing down, impacting into the front of a parked car; metal being rendered and glass fracturing. The actor then lifted his head up, not worried about his concussion. “When Lower-Earth Orbit Martial Artists descend and destroy your vehicle, will that cut-rate insurance company be there?”
“Don’t wait! Get All-State Today!”
“… You have GOT to be shitting me!” Julia shouted after a moment as the woman put her iPad back into her coat.
The man nodded. “Yep; from what we know, that got him a college fund at Tokyo-U for an Associate’s Degree.”
“I heard his mom did some other signings for commercials for a Bachelor’s,” the woman replied.
“I’ll believe it when I see it, like the marriage files,” the man replied, continuing to type. “I swear, the bets we have for this are topping in the millions of yen.” Blinking, he looked up at the couple. “You certain you aren’t here for any marriage promises?” he asked hopefully.
“No, no we aren’t.” No matter how much Theo would like to hear his daughter was pumping out cheetah babies; he was beginning to think Stryyp—nice as the guy was—was shooting blanks. “But…” Theodore said slowly, wanting to change the topic, “that’s not Ranma in the commercials. I’ve been given his picture; so how is he making money off that?”
“Oh, that’s simple. His mother copyrighted her son’s name,” the female Japanese agent said in all seriousness. “He’s getting at least ¥10,000 for personal pocket change from those commercials while his mother takes the rest and invests it.”
“Because of Saffron?” asked Julia.
“Nah, local events,” the man waved off. “Herb, Amazons, cursed paintings, etc…”
Blinking, Julia turned towards her husband. “And only now, he attracts your attention.”
Theo nodded. “We really need to revamp those protocols,” he offered. “Can we see a copy of the file?” he asked.
Blinking, the man looked at him, before laughing. “You mean … hah-hah … you don’t have … hah-hah … the complete file!?”
Theodore shook his head. “No. No we do not.”
The man just laughed harder. “Oh, oh sweet Buddha! You were practically going to throw your head into the mouth of the lion there!” he cackled harder. “Man, you foreigners are hilariously stupid; just like in your reality shows!”
Theodore twitched. “I’ll have you know my wife and I are nothing like what the TV shows and movies portray Americans as.”
“Your wife seems to be doing a good impression of the Conan Movie,” he said as he motioned a hand towards Julia.
Now the armored woman was steaming. “What? Do you have something against Barbarians?” she demanded to know; the tone of her voice practically daring him to say what she was certain he felt.
“Depends on the interpretation in the forum,” the man replied, trying to get his laughing under control. After all, he didn’t want to end up like the last secretary/personal assistant whose laughing ended up with him receiving a magical death ray through the air vent. “I-I just meant the media portrayal as barely in control!”
“Right,” Julia purred, pulling out her sword. “Remember that when we next ask you a question.”
The laughter died that second. “Um … okay,” the man replied. Damn it; did no one read the sign that stated not to threaten the help!?
“Now then,” Julia continued to purr, as she pulled out a hair and dropped it on the blade, smirking as both the hair was cut in twain and the lackey paled two more shades, “perhaps you can assist us in what we seem to be missing.”
“S-sure...” the small man replied. “I could give you the address of where the boy lives; perhaps even draw you a map with little notes on the locations.”
“That would help immensely,” Julia smirked.
Mumsey Brigand Diplomacy works again!
Theo just sighed. He really wished his wife wouldn’t threaten people from here to … wherever they ended up. He’d like to not burn every bridge they crossed … until they returned over it, in case a mob was on their heels.
“Here y-you go,” the man stuttered, handing them a packet through the slot at the bottom of the window.
And another…
And another…
And… “How many are there?” Julia asked, as a sixth packet joined the others.
“Well, you said you wanted the appropriate file,” the man offered with a nervous smile, as he bundled another packet.
Julia frowned as she grumbled, “Fuck me.” Oh yes, it looked like those idiots at the Conclave DID have reason to fear this boy... if the entire populace—of the ruling body of an Earth Realm Cabinet--seemed to fear him and keep such immense tabs on him.
“Don’t worry, these are just the cliff-notes,” the bureaucrat told her. “We keep novels for the full detailed notes, what was said exactly, what was eaten, number of changes, costs of damage, that sort of thing.”
“Really?” asked Theo.
“Oh yes,” the man replied. “We keep them on every abnormal citizen within Tokyo, if not Japan, as well as the local countries closest to us or likely to be associated with us.”
“… Why?” Julia asked.
“The Chaos Act of 1836,” the man replied. “The Emperor at the time undertook it to track down any and all ‘anomalous’ members of our society with skills far exceeding those of normal humans, in case they were needed to defend our homeland from ‘un’-human interference.”
“Ah,” Theo replied. “Take it an alteration got stalled during the 1940s.”
The man nodded. “The Emperor and his military heads at the time had been so looking forward to air-dropping some magical girls on Pearl Harbor too…”
Theo twitched. “Please … don’t speak of those simians in my presence,” he hissed; the tone of his voice practically had venom dripping.
Needless to say, her husband showing an immense amount of spine was enough to catch the redheaded woman’s attention. “… Theo?” Julia asked cautiously. “Is there something I should know about Magical Girls?” She noticed that again her husband twitched.
“… I really, REALLY wish people wouldn’t call them ‘Magical Girls’…” the Arch Aura Mage admitted slowly. “Those … half-baked elemental wizards are to my people as monkeys are to humans!”
The nameless man blinked—after all, any gossip was good gossip for anyone in the bureaucracy. “Really?”
Theo nodded, a light of fire in his eyes. “They are nothing but transients; fools only capable of one or two spells, maybe a weapon they can’t even fathom, and think it grants them the power of an avenger! They care not for random violence, to learn their craft or EVEN AIM! THEY BESMIRCH THE GOOD NAME OF MAGI EVERYWHERE!” he finished in a near roar.
Julia just blinked, having never seen her husband so … well, passionate/zealot-like about anything before.
Honestly, it was kind of turning her on right now. If there was a bathroom nearby…
Growling, the man grabbed the table at the window, it suddenly splintering in his hands. “Where we take our studies seriously, where we learn our trade, where we learn the costs and benefits; they take a few scraps and turn it all upside down with no care whatsoever, as long as they blast one bad villain from one battle to the next, giving us all a bad name as they leave untold damages in their wake!”
The nameless man could only gulp. Perhaps … he should stop being so customer-friendly and just work to get the bodies out the door as quickly as possible, as his last review had told him to.
But … damn, he could NOT wait for the court-mandated lunch break! He *SO* had stories to tell... that is, if neither this man nor his wife killed him.
Oh, the hassles about being a bureaucrat.
“Well … that should handle everything,” the man said slowly. “Hopefully, you’ll have what you need to find Ranma Saotome but remember; the nation of Japan is not responsibility for any physical or mental damages that may be inflicted upon you once you enter the Nerima Ward.”
“Fine,” Julia offered, watching as her husband degenerated into mumblings of ‘magical catastrophes’ and ‘incompetent virgins’. “And since we are new to this area of the world, would you recommend a way there?” she asked, with a smile, trying to pry Theo’s hands from the counter.
“Well, there are two options: the direct way and the indirect way.”
“What’s the difference?” Julia asked.
“About ¥10,000,” the man offered.
“NEVER!” Theo yelled. “We shall not give one extra red-blooded cent to this country to support these heathens!”
“… Indirect it is,” the man replied, absently praying for them—both for their journey and that they would never grace his desk again. “Here are your permits, please read all instructions and agreements on them. Here is your train time tables, please allow for a five-minute leeway in either direction for arrival/departure times. And do remember not to get involved with local battles, as it may not be what you believe, and we cannot guarantee the safety of your orifices in such cases.”
“… What?” Julia asked, eyes wide.
“Have a nice day!” The man quickly stated, pulling down the slat above his window, closing it for the day.
He really wasn’t paid enough for this.
Julia blinked her eyes once, twice, staring at the now closed office window. “Bloody hell,” she cursed as she shook her head. She grasped her husband’s wrists tight, intending to pull him free from the clerk’s desk.
*SHHRRREEECK!*
Julia blinked as she realized yes, she had gotten her husband but that he hadn’t broken loose; his fingers digging into a large portion of building which had been wrenched free of its surroundings. “… Oh, how come I can NEVER get this kind of strength out of you in bed?” the woman grumbled irritably as she threw the man over her shoulder and walked away...
… And then cursed as all the books were written in Japanese katakana and kanji.
One translation spell from a now heavily medicated Theo—thanks to some random drinks she had purchased from a nearby store that she had no idea what they contained, but the character faces on them seemed happy while not being blessed out of their mind—the two entered the Tokyo Mass Transit System, following the map offered.
Apparently, the direct route used a secret set of trains/magical subways not available to the general populace.
She was also thankful that they oddly also seemed down due to running into a small black piglet for some reason, at least as far as the other passengers near her from the bureau were muttering about.
That meant they didn’t have to waste all that Yen to get onto a train that would’ve been denied them anyway. Talk about luck! For once her husband’s stupidity and stubbornness worked to their advantage.
Speaking of which, her husband was blinking his eyes once, twice, thrice. “… Dear,” he said slowly, his magical immunity slowly purging his system of the soda can his wife had made him drink. “What happened?”
“I gave you what I thought was a happy drink to calm you down,” she showed him the can.
Narrowing his eyes, the man stared at it as best he could. “Yoshinol? What the hell is ‘Yoshinol’?”
“A drink made by a man named Yoshi who felt Tylenol didn’t have enough competition on the market,” a woman in a business suit explained as she sipped on her own can. “Twice the alcoholic content, perhaps a bit of roofie too…
“But it sure gets me through the day!”
Watching as the woman nursed her own can of the drink that had been dubbed ‘Yoshinol’, Theodore stared at his wife with a shocked expression. “You … you tried to drug me?” What did this woman think this was; their honeymoon!?
Sighing, Julia turned towards her true love. “Well, I thought that better than you magically nuking the office we were at.”
“Why would I do that?” he asked, scratching the back of his head.
“No clue,” Julia shrugged. “I just know that for some reason, you don’t like a species called ‘magical girls’.”
Theo’s eyes turned pitch black. ”Never mention those thrice-damned magic heathens in my presence again!” the Arch Aura Mage snarled.
Smiling, the Armsmaster couldn’t help but feel a little giddy with that. She looked around quickly, pouting when she saw the lines to both sets of bathrooms. Looks like she’d have to wait before egging him on further to initiate ‘surprise sex’.
“Sorry dear,” the woman apologized in a wistful voice. “Won’t happen again! Scout’s honor!”
“… You were never a scout...”
Lowering her can from her lips, the Japanese woman suggested, “Maybe she means ‘Scouts’ as in ‘Sailor Senshi’?”
Keeping her husband from striking the woman with Aura Bolt for likening Julia to a magic girl, the redheaded barbarian dragged her husband further down the terminal towards the trains. Really, was he trying to get her to jump him in public … again?
Well, the local law probably wouldn’t go as easy as those on Jade had.
“Ignore it, dear,” she growled with repressed sexual tension, as Theo literally tried to strangle the unknown woman with first his free hand and later his mind. “We have more important issues to deal with.”
“MY WIFE IS NOT SOME NO-SKILLED MAGIC GIRL!”
“Remember your breathing exercises.”
“I SHALL CONFINE YOUR SOUL TO THE SIXTH LAYER OF HELL!”
Julia rolled her eyes. Why was he always like this OUTSIDE of the bedroom and never in? Maybe SHE’D like to lay back and be the submissive one once in a while, thank you very much!
“Dear,” Julia finally stated as her husband flailed in her grasp. “Just calm the fuck down or I’m cramming another Yoshinol down your throat; I did have to take more than one from the vending machine they had in the store.” Damn Japanese Machinery, taking large coins but no change to be handed back. And she was still sure she got screwed out of a couple hundred Yen but it wasn’t enough to buy another drink.
“They have insulted you!” Theo bellowed.
Julia almost twitched—kind of hard to do when she was so damned horny at the moment. “And what will the Conclave say when we inform them you had to deal with a matter to defend your wife’s honor—or what Mumsey will say—instead of the mission assigned to you?” she asked.
“… Can I curse her with flatulence and bad skin tone?”
Leaning over a bit, Julia looked at the woman, sizing her up as all women do—even if they refuse to admit it, as the Woman’s Code states. “… Sure!”
Bitch needed to learn to hush her puppies!
Theo chuckled deviously as he was already creating the Glyphs within his mind with which to curse the woman with. Oh yes, insult his wife so gravely would she? Let’s see how the bitch felt when her skin started to turn blue--the NON-sexy kind--and all her underwear had skid marks!
Releasing a breath as she saw the train coming, the redhead was going to merely throw her husband on as soon as they opened the doors … but stopped when she realized something. “Dear?”
“Oh yes, gonna looks like something even Kirk wouldn’t tou—yes dear?” Theodore said, torn from his ranting as his wife pointed to one of the bullet trains. “What about it?”
“Are trains on earth normally that densely armored and look like they just came out of a war zone?” was the Armsmaster of Jade’s legitimate question.
“All right now,” called a female on a bullhorn, leading a large group of … well, even Julia would call them foreigners to Japan. “Now then, form a line, and once again, welcome to the Tokyo Chaos Tours! I am your guide, a name I will tell you at the end to ensure I live past a few stops!
“Now, enter the train, two at a time, and remember, flash photography only when allowed, lest the alien monsters attack you instead, while your fellow passengers record your violent death!”
Growling, Julia soon found herself swept with her husband into the train, trying to hold back and not be on the isolated, secured box with the insane future Darwin Award Winners.
Sadly, as she was holding back—and trying to keep her husband with her—the Armsmaster of Jade found herself swept up into what was likely a mobile coffin on train tracks along with a bunch of other foreigners; a number of which had the Canadian Flag somewhere on their clothes or gear.
Obviously, Americans trying not to appear American, considering the typical view the world had of the country at the moment. Seriously, if you wanted to pass for NOT being a US Citizen, you really needed to go with a Union Jack and hold your pinky up.
Sighing as she was pushed towards the front of the train before the Tour Guide, the redheaded woman set her husband down. “Well, Theo; looks like it’s going to be a bit longer before we get to Nerima…”
“Oh, so you heard about our special premium?” the Tour Guide asked.
“Special premium?” Theodore and Julia parroted.
The Tour Guide nodded her head. “Yes. Today and today only, Nabiki Tendo has secured that ‘force of nature” Ranma Saotome will be available for photographs as we make a normally unscheduled stop at the Nerima Transit Station.”
“Ooooh, wow! Nerima!” a man in overalls and a thick accent spoke up. “I can’t wait to have me pic-tur taken with de Fury of Furinkan! Ain’t that right, honey?”
Julia and Theo both twitched as they saw the man was talking to a sock... on his hand.
In their minds, both had the same shared thought: What the hell have we stumbled in to?
As the train took off, the ‘guide’ began her spiel.
“Hello, and welcome to Tokyo Chaos Tours, I am your guide, Vicki—not my real name in case any of you try to curse it, as I stated earlier, I want to live till the end. And as it is a bright, sunny, day, I am glad to see many of you have brought your umbrellas.
“In case you didn’t; they will be selling them at Stop #4 for ¥5000.
“If you look to your left, you can see the Imperial Palace. It serves no purpose along this tour, except to inform you that no diplomacy can save your ass now, nor can you sue for what you are about to experience, as we are now exiting what normal people would declare as ‘sanctioned Tokyo.”
“Sanctioned Tokyo?” a man with a thick Australian accent spoke up. “What’s that mean, missy?”
“It means,” ‘Vicki’ started, her tone something along the lines of as if this was something she’d said before on many occasion, “what happens in the Bullet Train to Hell, STAYS in the Bullet Train to Hell.”
“Bullet Train to Hell!?” Theodore and Julia snapped.
Nodding her head, the woman replied, “Yes. That was the only name the Shinto Priests that christened this armor-plated nightmare would allow us to call it; seems fitting too, actually.”
The two just stared at her, wondering what the hell they had stumbled upon—and why it wasn’t being regulated by ‘sane’ people.
“Now,” ‘Vicki’ spoke, “as you all can read from your maps, this train is on a special route, taking us to all the twenty-three wards, and sometimes multiple stops per ward, depending on the action within the districts.
“Also, do remember not to feed or converse with the aliens or superhumans you may come across, as this may result in anything from our planet being destroyed to you being engaged to the Princess of the Squirrel-people!”
Julia pinched herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming, as Theo began to check himself for spells.
“… Julia,” Theodore said slowly, as the insanity that was being thrown in his face was horribly sobering, crushing the Yoshinol in his arteries, “what the hell is with Japan?”
“Good question,” the redheaded woman replied before turning to the front. She raised her arm, hoping to get the attention of this ‘Vicki’. “Hey! HEY YOU! THE TOUR GUIDE! You’re knowledgeable about all this! Why is Japan so fucked up?”
Twitching, the woman in blue uniform forced the smile on her face. Kami-sama, Americans were so damned rude! “Why, there is nothing wrong with Japan in General … just about two-thirds of Tokyo … prefectures like Juuban, Kanagawa, Nekomi, Tomobiki and of course, Nerima.”
“Oooooh...” a number of people ‘ooh’ed as they started taking pictures.
Vicki twitched. “Do I need to repeat myself?” As people kept taking pictures, the Tour Guide sighed. “Please, note there is NO flash photography on this tour!”
As always, that didn’t stop the tourists. Like at a concert, these people felt it was their Kami-damned right to blind people with bright lights, damned the consequences, like the singer falling off the stage.
Just in this case, they’d startle something, ending up with the train being attacked, and her chances of a tip disappearing faster than the tourists nearest the opened windows. “Also recall, you all were forced at gunpoint to fill out your Next-of-Kin notifications, so if you do forget the rules, remember, that we will make certain your family laugh at how stupidly you died.”
… Now they were taking pictures of each other, so they could point out the ones who died on the tour.
Damned foreigners…
Sighing, ‘Vicki’ turned to reached down to grab the walkie-talkie off her belt. “Yeah, we’re ready to enter the danger zone as we’ll ever be. Expect to lose about half of the train this time...” she said. She then clicked it off and put the electronics device back on her belt before picking up her microphone again. “Okay, the Bullet Train to Hell is ready to enter the “chaotic” part the Chaos Tour! And remember, you signed up for this!” she chimed as the train started to move.
“I didn’t sign up for this!” Theodore cried. “I was pushed into the train with the Americans trying to pass as Canadians!”
“Hey now! I am sure-doin’ a Canadian!” said a man with three of his front teeth missing. He took off his red and white baseball cap with a red Maple Leaf on it. “Go Hockey!”
Theodore twitched, wondering if he should burn his United States Citizenship Papers when he got home and just lived on Jade full-ti--
Oh, right. Indoor plumbing and electricity... and internet! Couldn’t just leave those behind.
“Right,” ‘Vivki’ drawled. “Like our security is so bad, we randomly pick up people and add them to our group.”
“You did!” Theo cried.
‘Vicki’ stared at him for a moment, and then shrugged her shoulders. Oh well, not like it was any slander on her record if passengers not listed went missing. “Okay,” she continued, ignoring Theo’s shocked expression, “as we are slowing down, if you look out to your left … other left, folks.”
Damned foreigners…
“Anyway, since this is a ‘slow-speed’ area only, we will not be stopping as the staff wishes to live to see their loved ones, you will see a new group called, the ‘Devious Divas’, working to protect the local area from … one moment.”
Turning around, she grabbed her walkie-talkie. “Hey, guys; might want to speed up and tell the management to add an adult warning to the tour again.”
“I did not know that vas how you dealt vith tentacle demons!” one of the ‘Canadian’ tourists stated with a thick German accent.
“GET DOWN HERE NOW!” one of the ‘Divas’ yelled, loud enough to reach the train.
“HELP!” cried said tentacle demon, dressed in a ruined trench coat, two tentacles holding a bag of groceries, as several were … ‘held’ by the Divas, trying to pull him down off the streetlight.
Theodore looked out the window, twitching. “Must... Kill... Magical... Monkeys...” the man growled as his hand began to glow with bright energy.
“Hey, lookit there!” one of the “Canadians” spoke up, his formerly white shirt covered in at least seventeen different sorts of stains; three of them various barbeque sauces. “That man’s glowing with them pretty lights! Maybe he’s one o’ dem marshal arteests!”
The young child next to the man—dressed in NASCAR Feetie Pajamas--added, “Or maybe he’s a Magical Boy.”
“THEO!” Julia shouted as she held onto her husband. “NO INFANTCIDE! NO!”
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(Posted Sat, 03 Sep 2011 04:02)
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