"Hmmm?" asked the Being.
"Then there might be something to you actually being able to do those wish-thingies," continued Naruto. "In which case I got to come up with good ones!"
"True," agreed the Being.
"So if I wanted to be able to cook, you could do something about that?" asked Naruto. "Don't you need stuff to be able to cook though? And I can't hardly ever buy stuff and it's costs lots!"
"Right," said the Being, curious as to where this was going.
The eleven-year-old considered for a moment. "Can you follow me?"
"Oh?" asked the Being, wondering what Naruto was up to. Might as well do away with the stasis-bubble.
Naruto listened at the door to the building for a moment then opened it.
A young girl who'd been sneaking around there fell over at the unexpected movement.
"Hi!" said Naruto brightly, taking her hand and trying to haul her back to a vertical position from her current horizontal.
"EeeeK!" squeaked the girl, having the boy holding her hand and freezing in place.
"Oh, well, sorry," said Naruto, discovering that he couldn't haul the girl to her feet. "Got to get going! C'mon!"
Hinata stared for a moment, then realized that Naruto must have been speaking to her - but what exactly was going on?!
"Iruka-sensei! I need some advice!" asked Naruto, sliding to a stop in front of the desk.
"Oh? Did you already do the homework?" asked Iruka Umino, noting his student had come in at high speed.
"This is important!" indicated Naruto. "If you could have anything you wanted. Anything at all! What would you want!"
"World peace," tried Iruka.
"Uhm, just so you know - nobody but you can see or hear me right now," said the Being. "Also - 'world peace' doesn't last very long." That it usually moved from simple direct violent confrontations to more subtle and complicated battles that could be even worse for the people involved - he didn't think Naruto would understand socio-economic and cultural warcraft.
"So 'world peace' isn't something that can last? Why not?" asked Naruto.
Iruka blinked, not having expected Naruto to treat his answer so seriously. "Well, it's true that we're in a period of peace now that could explode very quickly, but it's better than an actual war. Ninja at war can be very messy."
"Ah, that deals with human nature and how humans developed," said the Being, answering Naruto's question. "Humans tend to compete with each other, hold grudges, be self-centered, and have a lot of hold-over behavior from earlier in their development path. Also to be in self-denial about many of these traits. There's also limited resources available and accessible, your Second Law of Thermodynamics, and similar factors that come into play."
"So, because of things like this competitive stuff, we can't actually do 'peace'?" asked Naruto.
Iruka blinked. It almost sounded like Naruto was having a conversation, but the only unseen presence that Iruka could even think of didn't sound very likely for a conversation on the subject. "That's true to some extent, I suppose. People naturally want what is best for themselves and those they consider close - like family. Since there is no such thing as something truly free - competition develops."
Naruto scowled. It had seemed so simple. Come over here, talk to Iruka-sensei, figure out what the other two wishes would be. "Can't be done, eh?"
"Oh, I didn't say it couldn't be done," said the Being. "I've actually seen it a few times. Oh, and keep in mind neither your teacher, nor Hinata who has followed us and is peeking around the edge of the door, can see us. Well, if Hinata used her Byakugan she'd see something like an energy distortion."
"So, what would it take for there to be this 'world peace' stuff?" asked Naruto aloud.
"THAT is a question that people have asked for a very long time," said Iruka Umino.
"One," said the Being. "Everyone dies. The peace of the grave. Didn't think you'd want to consider that. Two, the presence of telepaths. In a society where telepathy is common - a true meeting of the minds is possible. Not to mention VERY effective psychotherapy. There's the potential for misuse, of course. There isn't anything I could gift humanity or you specifically that DOESN'T has the potential for misuse."
"What's 'telepathy'?" asked Naruto.
"Ah," said Iruka, thinking now that maybe Ino Yamanaka had flubbed her mind-body switch jutsu and was connected to Naruto. He remembered something like that happening to Inoichi once a decade or two ago. "Mind to mind communication. The Yamanaka have several techniques like that."
Naruto considered that but thought if Ino already had something like that, it didn't seem right to do the same thing.
"Third, there was a world where a situation sort of escalated and then nobody had any individuality, losing their humanity to become goo. Though I did run across a similar one where humanity ascended to become a single entity of pure thought that was a few stages better than goo at least."
Naruto made a face. That didn't sound fun.
"Anything else I can help you with, Naruto? Otherwise I have to get back to grading papers," said Iruka.
"If not 'world peace' then what else would you want for personally, Iruka-sensei?" asked Naruto, thinking there was two other people he could ask if this didn't work. "Like if you were just starting out as a ninja?"
"You've got to graduate the Academy to become a ninja, Naruto," Iruka reminded his student. He was thoughtful for a moment. "When I was first starting out. There was what I wanted at that time-"
"Yeah?" asked Naruto, thinking that sounded promising.
"-and then there was what I realized I needed later on," continued Iruka still in a thoughtful tone. "After I'd been out with my genin team, when we were on our first serious mission. When I graduated, what I wanted was recognition. When my team was facing our first heavy opponent I realized what I and my team really needed was a sensor."
"A wha?" asked Naruto.
"A sensor like..." Iruka started thinking about how best to put it to someone whose grades really weren't all that good.
Toltiir saw a chance for a little physical comedy and to help the teacher along.
"Eep!" said Hinata, feeling absolutely mortified at somehow tripping while listening at the doorway without any movement on her part. Thump!
Iruka blinked at the sight of Hinata falling through the doorway and sliding along the floor on her face briefly.
"Ouch," said Hinata, who decided that she was going to play dead and hopefully avoid any further embarassment this day.
"Like the Hyuga," said Iruka. "They've got a sensor ability. Their bloodline ability - the Byakugan."
"'Bloodline'? 'Byakugan'?" asked Naruto.
Iruka nodded, glad that Naruto was paying attention. He went into the basics of bloodlines or kekkei genkai, how they were sought after by two of the Hidden Villages, and then the Hyuga bloodline of the Byakugan. He didn't mention the OTHER bloodline ability of the Hyuga, as he didn't honestly think that was anything more than idle gossip. Of course, he'd also admit he didn't get out as much as he'd like.
"Oh. Does the Uzumaki family have a bloodline?" asked Naruto, thinking that if he DIDN'T have a superspecial bloodline talent, that he certainly would have something like that soon.
"Yeah, I made it so that the Uzumaki bloodline has that super-healing thing," said the god of mischief. "That was your first wish, remember?"
Iruka still couldn't see or hear the Being, so he just decided to humor Naruto. "I think I have a book on them over here."
Toltiir nodded. Of course, there HADN'T been a book on the subject - ninja tended to be fairly secretive. Still, doing something with the Uzumaki bloodline could be amusing - so now there WAS a book on such things.
Iruka Umino wasn't aware of that though. He remembered picking it up from a weird bookstore that hadn't been there the previous day, picking up several different old books. He'd gone back the next day to check into other purchases only the store had apparently already gone out of business. Sad, but not entirely without precedence in a ninja village.
"Here we go," said Iruka, flipping to the appropriate letter. "Uchuuno, Uzuki, Uzumaki! Enhanced stamina - that would explain where you get all your energy from. Special potent chakra, and high reserves. Very passionate and... we'll skip that part for now. Red hair, which you obviously don't have. Fuuinjutsu affinity, which your handwriting certainly doesn't reflect. Oh. That's interesting. Says that Uzumaki usually have difficulties in mastering chakra techniques that are delicate or subtle because they have such large reserves. I wonder if that's why you have trouble with your bunshin technique. Stamina gives the Uzumaki an accelerated healing factor and resistance to poisons and diseases."
Naruto was grinning so hard it would have blinded Hinata if she wasn't feigning being unconscious.
"So - not a sensor ability," said Iruka. "Of course, that bloodline would be rare and only one specific family of Uzumaki so it may not even apply to you. Just saying - don't get your hopes up too much."
"Huh," said Naruto.
"Now, Naruto, I really DO need to get back to these papers," said Iruka.
"If I could have just about anything?" said Hiruzen Sarutobi, Third Hokage, leaning back at his desk. "Ah. To have the Fourth back maybe? To hand over the position of Hokage and go to retirement as I should have? No. That would be good, but you said when I had started out on my ninja career. Hmmm. That was a very long time ago. Very long."
"Don't fall asleep there, jiji," said Naruto.
Hiruzen Sarutobi considered his answer thoughtfully. Back then, he had several things he'd wanted. To be popular with the ladies, to become as strong as the First, as implacable as the Second, to learn a thousand jutsu, to become Hokage himself, even start a family. Well, he'd actually done some of that. What to answer Naruto though?
"Control, precision," said the Third Hokage eventually. "If you have all the strength in the world but can't use it - it's useless."
"So, 'control' huh?" asked Naruto, apparently thinking very carefully about that.
"He's talking about more than just control of your chakra, by the way," said the Being, invisible and inaudible to the Hokage though it required a bit more effort than it had with the chunin. "He's talking about hand-eye coordination, speed, and aim. Being able to hit the target precisely as hard as you mean to hit it."
"That sounds pretty good," admitted Naruto, picturing being able to beat Sasuke when it came to throwing shuriken.
"Anything else, Naruto?" asked the Hokage.
"Just 'precision' then," said Naruto, his face scrunched up.
"Well, that and some decent help," said the Hokage, glaring now at the paperwork dominating his desk. "Maybe a cute kunoichi."
"Really?" asked Naruto.
"Oh yes, genin teams are always of three and it is usually two guys and one girl. If ours had been cute it would have made infiltration missions a LOT easier," said Hiruzen. "Instead we had Koharu who was comely enough but couldn't act as if she didn't have a stick up her... well, never mind."
Naruto nodded thoughtfully, thinking of what Sasuke would be like as a girl. Probably just as stuck-up.
"If I were a genin starting out?" asked Teuchi. "A bit of a stretch there."
"If it were me, I'd probably want to learn special escape techniques," said Ayame from where she was stirring the pot. "Having a way OUT of trouble would be good."
"Yeah, you seem to find your way INTO trouble just fine," noted Teuchi to Naruto.
"He's got you there," noted Toltiir to Naruto.
Naruto thought about that, then nodded.
"Though if I had been a genin, I'd probably have gone with stealth techniques," admitted Teuchi. "Much better to go and do whatever job you've been given - and back out without anyone knowing you're there."
Izumo scratched his head, looking down at the kid who'd just approached them and asked a very weird question. "What kind of ability would I most have wanted to have starting out?"
Kotetsu snorted. "Being able to attract a major babe would have been HIS wish."
"No, seriously," said Izumo. "Drop that. I guess a summons."
"A 'babe'?" asked Naruto.
"A major cute girl," supplied Kotetsu. "Man was hopeless with the girls back then. Still is, come to think of it."
"Like you're one to talk," said Izumo.
"What's a summons?" asked Naruto, deciding to put aside the question about girls for now.
"Oh, they're incredibly useful," said Izumo. "There are three major ones in Konoha - the toads, the snakes, and the slugs. There are lesser ones too. Captain Hatake has a set of ninja dogs he's pulled out when he needs tracking or something guarded for example."
"Yeah, hate to admit it, but he's right on that," admitted Kotetsu. "Summons have got to be one of the top three major ninja abilities. Even better than scoring babes."
"If you keep talking like that, someone's going to overhear you who can hurt you," said Izumo.
"Name one that would actually do something I couldn't handle," scoffed Kotetsu.
"Anko Mitarashi," supplied Izumo.
Kotetsu stopped, turning slightly pale. "Okay. Good point."
Mizuki looked down at Naruto. "If I could have any ability as a ninja? Naruto, shouldn't you be studying?"
"Aw, c'mon, Mizuki-sensei!" pleaded Naruto.
"I'd probably want a good team to support me," said Mizuki. "Now go on. I'm really quite busy here."
"So, have you decided?" asked Toltiir.
"Yeah," said Naruto, closing the door to his apartment.
"Your second wish then?" asked Toltiir, curious.
Naruto nodded. "I wish-"
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(Posted Tue, 10 Dec 2013 15:59)
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