"No, no Madeleines today," said Monty with a sibilant sigh. "Nor, dare I to hope, sconesss or Battenberg. Well, maybe if the young kunoichi here failsss particularly badly at genjutsu resissstance training some day. Providing we can get sssome apricot jam."
"In this country? No way," said Anko.
"I thought pythons were carnivores," said Naruto as Sakura refilled his teacup.
"Ssso I've got a sssweet tooth," said Monty, shrugging with a full body shrug that started at just behind his jaw and slowly made its way down his length. "Worssse habitsss - I assure you."
"So what training have you got them on while I was busy?" asked Anko.
"You'll notice that while Sssakura here is under my genjutsssu, she is performing the bassics of the local tea ceremony - though with a proper black tea instead of the green variety," said Monty, using his tail-tip to point. "I'm usssing my Hypnosisss jutsu to impress certain things on her mind. A few sessionsss like thisss will have her able to perform such a thing flawlesssly. The kimono is perfectly ordinary if a bit high-end for a genin'sss sssalary. The under-kimono though, that'sss weighted. Moving gracefully and economically in sssuch is good strength and muscle control training."
"And the singing?" asked Anko.
"Sssnakes got to get hisss fun sssomehow," responded Monty.
"Huh, wha?" asked Sakura.
"Looks like she's coming out of it," noted Anko.
"A good fifteen minutes fassster than yessterday," said Monty, sounding positively delighted as he took his own teacup by wrapping his tail end around a cup and bringing it up to his mouth. "Mossst promising."
"What? WHAT THE HELL AM I WEARING?!" asked Sakura, looking down at her pink and white silk kimono.
"A very expensive furisode-style kimono depicting sakura branchesss with leavesss dancing on the wind," said Monty.
"AHHH! Why is it so heavy?!" asked Sakura before looking up and noticing Sasuke watching her. She froze as she considered the situation and tried to sort out the various thoughts and feelings about this situation.
"Weighted underclothesss," explained Monty. "Really, why isss anyone sssurprised when I am assigned to train sssomeone - that I do ssso."
"Because you're a snake," suggested Sasuke.
"Ssspecies-ist," hissed Monty, giving the impression of someone very long-suffering.
"What about the other two?" asked Anko.
"Mainly," said Monty, "I've been working on ambusssh detection skillsss, combat readinessss, and general fitness of the two malessss. The girl sssimply hasss more ground to cover."
"We're having a tea party?" asked Sakura as she tried to process the scene.
"You sssee what I mean?" asked Monty.
Sasuke considered the girl dressed in atypical manner for a kunoichi and unknowingly said something that firmly shifted the way the future would develop. "It looks fine."
Just Sakura's reaction should really have clued him in that someone had heard something entirely different from what he'd said, but he was already listening to Monty who was going on with an explanation.
"Sssss. Naruto and his device Kuregata already have some combat skillssss," hissed the snake, pausing by taking a sip of his tea. Then he set the teacup down and used his tail tip again as if it were a prehensile appendage to add two sugar cubes and a bit of milk. "The problem with him is that he'sss used to acting alone and hisss skillssset is very focusssed. Sasssuke likewise hasss a narrow skillssset and is very focusssed on hisss own goals. The two of them need to learn sssome teamwork and sssome noncombat skillsss."
"You mean for infiltration missions and the like?" asked Naruto, surprising at least two of those listening.
"Yesss," said Monty. "Alssso, having hobbies helpsss keep your sssanity."
"Who needs sanity?" asked Anko.
"Well, around here, who can sssay?" admitted Monty.
"Uhm," said Sakura. "Where are my regular clothes?"
"Over there in the bushes," said Monty. "It's a pity she can't have a friend over. I could have them do a duet, or comedy skitsss. Oh, there's the ticket."
Sakura fled for the safety of the bushes. At least as fast as she could wearing what she was wearing.
"Well, meatbags," said Anko. "Tea's over. Now it's time for some real training!"
"Oh?" asked Naruto.
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(Posted Thu, 10 May 2012 17:38)
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