“For all you senors and senoritas just joining us I am very apologizing to inform you of tonight’s events. In the opening match of the night featuring two promising young talents of the great Ultimate Fighter’s Federation, my co-host Happosai has broken the rules in his first night back in the UFF!”
With the ring music off, Ranma was able to make out the announcer’s word a few second before Happosai cut hit glide and dropped to the ring. “Ranma how dare you come to this paradise of busty women and tiny clothes!” the old man shouted as he brandished his pipe at his opponent.
On the other side of the ring, Carla leaned over to whisper into Ayane’s ear. “Is this more of the spectacle?” she asked, then blinked when her friend was seemingly oblivious to the presence of anyone but the gnome standing in the center of the ring; as evidenced by Ayane’s patented glare of death.
Then, Carla’s confusion mounted when Ayane bent down to whisper to one of her masked butlers. “Get the sledgehammer from under the ring.”
The sudden appearance of an old pain in his ass made the newly minted dragon sneer in anger. While the old man had been a borderline intolerable POS to the human Ranma Saotome that needed to be put in his place whenever he got one of his stupid ideas, Ranma the dragon, with his new level of selfishness and appetite for destruction, saw him as a completely intolerable POS that needed to be ripped apart on sight before he even thought about trying to start something.
So, that’s exactly what he tried to do.
“SUCK IT YOU OLD #@&%*$#@!,” Ranma shouted as he leaped at the tiny man and instinctively brought his draconic powers to bare. Although he wasn’t quite sure how to do it, Ranma’s body reacted to his will and sent an arc of mystic energy along his hand as he swiped at Happosai with his hand in a claw; which even after he missed, continued to cut a path of destruction to the edge of the ring before detonating on the ropes.
Years of experience when it came to dodging the murderous rage of women allowed Happosai to barely get out of the way thanks to his uncanny reaction time. However, while his body managed to clear the attack, the old man’s aura was raked along its side. The effect sent Happosai into a spasm as his dodge became a comical roll into the nearby post.
“GAH!” What the hell? Happosai thought as he tried to get his aura under control. That was a fully compressed aura attack. When did the little bastard learn to do something like that? And HOW?
While Happosai was easily distracted by his vices, the old man hadn’t gotten to be as old as he was by being stupid. When it came to Genma and Soun, as well as the other people he’d taught over his long life, Happosai had always made sure to give them very flawed lessons in aura manipulation.
While rocks and trees would shatter from their attacks, their auras were too unfocused and volatile to create a proper offense or defense when it came to a living person. The attack would be greatly disrupted by contact with an opponent’s aura. The best they could hope for was to shove someone away really hard. Even Genma’s special techniques did little more than break the skin without a solid mass like a foot or fist behind them; which Happosai had to admit actually spoke a great deal about the man’s skill level.
But such a flawed training had been passed down to Ranma, the old man had seen it, experienced it. Even if the little punk had managed to figure it out, or met one of the few martial arts masters in Japan that hadn’t been effected by Happosai’s rather long campaign of making sure no one in his back yard could take him down, it should have taken years of lessons to re-educate him in proper chi control and aura manipulation.
Happosai had only been gone from Japan a couple of months.
The old man was so confused by the impossibility of the question that he didn’t notice the impending danger until Ayane’s words rung in his ears. “Welcome to the shortest comeback in history you old bastard!” she shouted as Happosai turned just in time to see the incoming sledgehammer head.
Glad of an attack that couldn’t do much in the way of damage, Happosai moved to defend, and grit his teeth when his damage aura only responded in a lethargic way to his needs. Oh crap…
Happosai’s aura only absorbed a fraction of the attack that sent him slamming into another pole and staying down as he tried to dull the pain and get his aura under control. “Hey, this isn’t how things are supposed to go down,” the old man whined when his aura began to heal his injuries at a much slower rate that he would have liked.
But, the blow had given Happosai enough time to regain some of his control and wits while Ranma charged another attack.
Fact #1: Ranma had somehow gained enough in ability to actually become dangerous to Happosai’s continued existence. He needed to be taken down.
Fact #2: With his current reserves and damage, Ranma was about to either permanently cripple him, or blow Happosai away completely with the attack he was about to unleash in .5 seconds.
Fact #3: Other girl in the ring, and an extremely busty one at that, was completely lost on WTF was going on and thus, had her guard down.
Information fully processed, Happosai leaped out of the compressed energy shot before it hit where he was standing and completely disintegrated about a fourth of the ring and attached himself to that Desire girl. “SWEETO!”
Of course, when the gnome attached himself to her chest, Carla managed to snap out of her confusion and react as any normal woman would. “AHHHHHHH!”
“Perfect, hold him still for me Carla!” Ayane said as she lifted her sledge. “Hey old man, I TOLD you I‘d hammer your ass into the pavement if I ever saw you again!”
Still, the girl with the impossible level of stealthyness was far too slow.
Many years ago, when Happosai was a man on the verge of old age, he had searched for a technique that would allow him to prolong his life as the man knew what awaited for him after death was not going to be pleasant. After a few years, he heard of a master that could potentially give him such a skill, and so he stole into the man’s library and took the books mystical books that gave instructions for his art. Most of the later techniques, something about fashioning weapons, Happosai never bothered to learn. But the basic technique, the one that would allow him to siphon energy from a person’s aura even to the point of stripping away their will, that skill he learned well enough to use on females and supplemented his own life-force with the stolen energy.
It had been a long time since the old man had employed the skill to its fullest. Even with the age of magic over, stupid do-gooders tended to be all over guys that liked munching on the souls of others. So he had to hide, satisfying himself with a little nibble here and there while the occasional martial artist aura allowed for slightly bigger bites to be taken. But Happosai remembered the technique like it was yesterday.
Happosai grabbed onto the animosity and anger the girl he was attached to had at his actions, and tore Desire’s aura from her being with enough force that it got a bloodcurdling scream from the girl before her body went limp just in time to bring Ayane’s attack to a halt and stop Ranma from attacking as he tried to process what his newfound senses were telling him.
In the stands, Debra (wearing her newly purchased and extremely overpriced YOU ARE NOT WORTHY Mistress T-shirt for $39.99) gapped at what she had just seen while her inhuman strength shattered the armrests. A reaper? But…they’re all supposed to be dead!
At the entrance to the ramp, the UFF champion frowned at what he was seeing. When Happosai ha been making a general nuisance of himself again, Monty had thought he would just put on his ass-kicking boots and lay down the law. But when he had seen what was inside the ring with his own senses, those plans were put on hold. “Forget the entrance music Joe, I got me a monster to slay.”
Back in the ring, saliva dripped down Happosai’s mouth as he turned to face his opponents. “It’s been a long time since I had myself a meal like that. Okay boy, let’s go!”
(Posted Wed, 29 May 2013 04:52)
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