Up above the UFF arena, the announcer in the box stepped into his ring persona (which wasn’t really all that different from his real one, only with more of an accent) and switched on the mike after making sure his moustache wasn’t going to be too ruffled by the large cigar in his mouth. “Welcome senor and senoritas to the UFF arena in downtown Atlanta Georgia. I am your color commentator for tonight, El Buju Bontines!” he nearly shouted into the microphone.
“And with me tonight is a very special amigo from the beginning days of the UFF who had been banned from competition for illegal holds, but can be coming back to make professional commentary, senor ‘Happy Hands’ Happosai!”
The Latino man looked over to the empty seat as it seemingly adjusted itself to its full height, then an impossibly diminutive man jumped up to stand in the chair so he could reach the microphone. “Hello all you hot and bouncy ladies!” the old man aid into the microphone. “And Illegal holds my wrinkled butt! If you ladies would’ve stayed home like you’re supposed to instead of getting in this sacred ring where men belong, I’d still be owning all these newbies!”
As soon as the booing from the crowd began, followed by some food and drink thrown at the announcer’s box by some of the fans in the cheap seats, Buju took to his microphone. “And it looks like tonight is going to be your last night as an announcer as well.”
“So let us begin with an excellent opening match featuring two hot and sexy newcomers to the ring,” he continued as Desire’s entrance music began to play. “This saucy senorita hails from parts unknown, and was handpicked by the Mistress to guard her back a few nights ago during a rank advancement competition.”
Meanwhile, down at the ramp…
With the music blaring in his ears and the shouts of the fans, it was all Ranma could do to make out the voices next to him while Ayane accompanied her friend Carla down to the ring.
“Hundreds of idiots chanting her name and wearing her insignia while decreeing their unworthiness to be in her presence,” Jane said as she watched the crowd’s reaction to Ayane being there. “Okay, so maybe I do see an upside to this UFF thing.”
While Jane studied the ring, Ranma stared at Sue as she explained his ring entrance. “Okay so after the female sound effects and the pyro, you step out onto the ramp and do this every time you hear the electric lute play the cord I made you listen to earlier.”
“You can’t be serious,” he mumbled.
“And then, Jane and I sway our hips like this,” she demonstrated as she moved them side to side.
Then, Carla’s music came to a stop, and there was a second pause before an odd sound came on over the speakers. It was a woman’s voice and…
“It sounds like Jane the time we were in bed and-oh boy,” Ranma mumbled before the fake orgasm sound-effect stopped and there was an explosion of fireworks at the entrance that obscured the door in flame for a moment before Sue shoved him through the giant doorway.
“I think I‘m cute”
“I know I’m sexy”
“REMEMBER TO CROTCH THRUST!” Sue yelled from behind him when he missed the first cue.
“I got the looks”
“That drives the girl‘s wild”
“I’m going to get you for this,” Ranma mumbled to himself as Sue and Jane came out from behind him as the entrance continued and Ranma, reluctantly did as he was told.
“I got the moves”
“That really move ‘em”
Oh this is too much, Ayane thought as she covered her mouth and held onto one of the ring’s ropes to keep from falling over in laughter. Ranma was one of the most shy, sexually insecure people she’d ever met. To see him trying to pull off the persona was pure gold.
Even if he did have the body for it…which was strange really. Ayane had seen him with his shirt a month ago, and the body did not have well-toned abs back then. He had been cute, but still a long way form UFF level of sexy that gave the playboy competitors the option of early retirement. Now he easily fit into that arena.
“I send chills”
“Up and down their spines”
“I‘m just a sexy boy” (Sexy Boy)
A few seconds ago in the announcer‘s box…
“And now comes a senor from Tokyo Japan, and a young man after my own heart, Ranma ‘The Iron Dragon’ Saotome,” Buju announced. “But Buju you ask, what makes you cheer for this new comer instead of the red hot Mistress’s bodyguard? It is because TWO MORE mui picante hot senoritas to the ring!
“The lovely lady with the with the dark skin and plenty of stuff to swing around in those hips and up top is Sue! And the lithe beauty on the right is Jane, although I doubt this hot mamma is anything but plain, si?”
“Wha-? Ranma Sao-and who the hell are those skanks?” Happosai shouted, completely breaking Buju’s cool as he jumped onto the announce table to peer through the glass. “I cross an ocean and a continent, and he still comes looking for to ruin my fun? Nobody outstages Happosai! Time for me to finally put that little punk in his place!"
The diminutive martial arts master kicked through the glass and grabbed onto the sides of his gi to stretch it out as he jumped out of the booth in order to glide towards the ring. “Happi away!”
(Posted Tue, 28 May 2013 01:20)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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