“How about we see what happens if we implant Dumbledore’s mind into Harry Potter’s body and vice verse? ... When Harry’s five!”
“Could be better than Sirius breaking out sooner and running off with Harry. Seen that a million times. Hey, how about a Harry that converts the roofs of Hogwarts into solar cells and makes money selling electricity to the students?”
“I feel like meddling with Naruto today. Was watching a mini-series just last week that had Naruto, time travel, and the Spear of Destiny. Let’s do Naruto. Or time travel. Or Naruto and time travel. Space travel! Naruto finds a spaceship and takes all of the Jinchuriki off planet. Man, that would really torque the nipples of quite a few people.”
“Hush, I found something good on. It’s a Love Hina where an invention of Su’s sends Keitaro and Motoko to Oa where they join the Green Lantern Corps.”
“DC and anime? I’m not feeling it.”
“I’m in the mood to laugh. Can we do something with Azumanga Daioh?”
“Ron Burgundy, Anchorman, Wizard, adopted father of Harry Potter. That’s comedy gold right there.”
“Please, how trite. I rather use Arrested Development. And instead of Potter, how about Clark Kent instead? Or better yet, Arrested Development and then the Walking Dead happens.”
“Shaun of the Dead.”
“Yes, Pegg and Frost for the win.”
“But Arrested and Shaun don’t even take place in the same country, let alone city.”
“Aren’t you a god? How is that a problem for us?”
“Look, here’s little Ranma about to set off on his fateful journey. You know how fun it is to meddle in his life, but we haven’t meddled that early in his life yet. Let’s change the course of his training trip.”
“Yes, drastically so.”
Little three year old Ranma hid under the shade of a large tree while he watched his father teach him martial arts. It was a game where you grab something from a cart and ran from the guy as he played chase and tag with you.
Genma approached the cart slowly, eyes scanning all around for any danger. He got closer and closer in a manner he thought was a mixture of casual nonchalance and inconspicuous blending in, which explained the growing suspicion and worry among the bystanders. Whistling tunelessly he gazed at the clouds while trying to slowly mince backwards towards the cart selling yakitori. Swiftly, Genma spun and grabbed two handfuls of skewers before kicking the cart into the street vendor. Genma ran off, but he began to juggle the ill-gotten loot as they were painfully hot to handle. All of his attention diverted to not dropping any of the stolen food, Genma did not notice the large truck he ran in front of.
Ranma started off giggling, his father looked so funny the way he goose-stepped as he juggled the yakitori. But his laughter soon turned into screams when the large truck plowed into his father. “Papa!” Ranma’s screamed attracted the attention of some angry pedestrians. The vendor, who was almost burnt by his own falling grill, and others who Genma jostled in his haste to make good his escape. Seeing the angry people and how they pointed at him as they advanced, Ranma ran away. His journey soon brought him to the gates of a temple, which looked like a good place to hide to the young child. Running further in, Ranma went to find a place to hide in fear and grief.
“Young man, what troubles you so,” said an old blind man with a tall staff and dressed as a priest. Ranma sniffled and tried to shrink himself into a tighter ball. “Come on out, child, I won’t hurt you.”
Ranma warily opened one eye to look at the old man. Seeing only a kind smile, Ranma scooted a little closer. “Papa is hurt and there were all these bad people. Momma said to be strong, but I wasn’t.”
The old priest gently shushed Ranma. “It will be all right, little one. My name is Daruma, though I have also been known as Janus and Heironeous.” Ranma tried to sound out the funny sounding names. “What is your name?”
“R-Ranma,” the boy stuttered shyly.
“And where is your family?”
“Papa is ... Papa ... Papa is training me to be a martial artist, just like him.” Pride was evident in Ranma’s voice.
“Well, Ranma, I can see you are going to grow up to be a great warrior, protector of the weak, strong, skilled, and honorable.” Ranma nodded, starting to smile. “Would you like to go someplace where you can learn to be a great and noble warrior?” Ranma nodded again. “Good, why don’t you come this way, then.”
Ranma followed the gentle holy-man. He was led deeper into the temple. Ranma was too young to notice how odd it was that they were walking for so long. Finally, they arrived at a small room. Inside was a shrine, of sorts, and behind it, a curtain.
“Through this curtain, you will find the opportunity to grow into a hero. Beware the friends you make and the company you keep.”
Ranma stared at the curtain, not entirely understanding what he was told. “I’ll be home for dinner with Mama?”
The old man chuckled. “I assure you, you will see your mother again. Hurry now, child. Time is running short.”
Ranma gave the old man one last look before walking through the curtains.
(Posted Thu, 29 Aug 2013 04:19)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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