"You said it, kid."
"Who said that?" Naruto got up off the thick grass, the slight breeze carrying the smell of honeysuckle and lavender from the nearby woods.
"Me."
"Gee, that narrows it down so much," grumbled Naruto as he looked around. Some natural ampitheatre or cavern with a ceiling that had collapsed. Underfoot, a thick carpet of blue-green grass. To the sides, rock walls adorned with thick pipes. All leading further into the cavern.
"It's just you and me here at the moment kid."
Naruto decided the voice was coming from deeper in the cavern and went in that direction. It wasn't long before he spotted a wall made of metal bars. Was that a... cage?
Behind the bars of the cage, resting on a carpet of thick grass, sunning himself as if he had not a care in the world - was an enormous nine-tailed fox.
"Yo."
"Huh, you must be the Kyubi." Naruto paused as he took in the sight of the beast before him. "This isn't quite what I expected."
"It changed when your team-mate wished that the curse of stupidity on you would be lifted," rumbled the fox, rolling over so his belly was now exposed. "This is much nicer."
"A 'curse of stupidity'?" asked Naruto.
"That was how it was worded, but based on what I'm seeing here - intent was considered when the wish was granted," said the Kyubi.
"That would make sense," mused Naruto. "So Sasuke said 'curse of stupidity' and was more likely thinking of specific incidents in our mutual past. Hey. Why am I talking like... oh. Never mind."
"Mind you, I'm not complaining. This was a sewer prior to that wish. Now it looks more like a water recycling plant. High tech one too, haven't seen that sort of thing since the Sage's days - and none of those were working any longer. Hmph."
"A sewer?" asked Naruto, looking around. Some of the rock walls still looked like they might have been a tunnel once. Not dark and dank any longer though. "Grass, trees, plants?"
"Not here prior. Mind you, the sewer was itself preferable to the restraints used by the previous three who had me sealed within them. With this, and with my own intellect apparently enhanced a bit - I can hope that eventually I will either have my freedom (through the lack of Sharingan users to go around mindjacking me) or at least something even more pleasant than this. Ah. That's nice."
"'Mindjacking'?" asked Naruto.
"We'll talk later, kit. Let me enjoy this while you go rejoin your team at the temple. It's been entirely too long since I've felt the sun on my face, the wind in my fur, and been able to stretch my limbs."
"Okay then," said Naruto. "So this is in my mindscape or something? If that's the case, then I should be able to leave by-"
"Ouch," said Naruto, sitting up and rubbing his temples. "Owie owie owie."
"So you've got a headache because some brains were added in there?" asked Sakura, ready to dismiss the whole sequence of events as being either a genjutsu or just some prank.
"Actually, I always did have a brain, Sakura. If Sasuke's wish to 'lift' a 'curse of stupidity' were taken at face value, then it would be restrictions to the use of that intelligence which would be altered, right?"
Naruto blinked as he realized he was being stared at. There was even a family of mice over in the corner there staring at him. How very odd.
"Uhm, what's 347 multiplied by 298?" tried Sakura.
"I was never really good at math," complained Naruto. "And I've got a headache."
"Ah," said Sakura, slumping in relief. "So it DIDN'T work."
"Though I'd think it would be 103,406 or something like that," said Naruto.
"So are you going to show anyone what's on that love fortune you bought that you crumpled up?" asked Kakashi.
"No!" said a now ashen-faced Sakura as she rushed outside. "I got to tie this one to the tree. It doesn't count!"
Cherry shook his head. "Don't tie it to the black tree!"
"That does not bode well," said Sasuke, frowning in the direction that Sakura had just run off to.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"That really does not bode well," noted Sasuke.
"Not true, not true, not true," muttered Sakura to herself as she went to the big black tree next to the wire fence. Bare, dead-looking, an old and twisted looking tree that had a few pine-needles on the upper branches but not many of those.
Grabbing one of the thinner lower branches, Sakura tied the fortune in place.
"Yeah! There's no way that could be true!" shouted Inner Sakura, making a fist-pump gesture. "Sasuke will be mine for sure, CHA!"
Stepping back to look one last time at the fortune now tied securely onto the branch, Sakura frowned at it.
Her eyes widened a little bit when another branch skittered along the branch with the fortune. They widened a bit more and her mouth opened slightly as the second branch UNTIED the fortune.
A shadow fell over her and Sakura looked up to see the tree now bending a good deal closer and a face formed on the bark was scowling at her.
There really was only one thing to do in this situation.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"RARGHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Two genin, a jonin, and a priest ran into the yard of the shrine.
"Uhm, Sasuke? Is there a thirty foot tall gnarled-pine tree lifting Sakura into the air?"
"Yeah. There is." Sasuke nodded. "Mokuton you suppose?"
"No, that's just the Black Tar Pine," said Cherry, slamming his staff down to get the little brass rings jingling. "This is fate."
"Uhm, should we be fighting the tree to save Sakura?" asked Naruto.
"No," said Cherry. "The Black Tar Pine has an awful temper but it won't actually hurt her."
"AHHHHHGLPPPGLK!"
"It just forced her to eat a piece of paper," noted Naruto.
"Ah, well, it'll come out in the end," said Cherry, jingling his staff again and trying to look wise.
"Well, as odd as this all is," began Kakashi, clutching one arm. Lightning began to form around one hand with a sound like a lot of birds chirping. "Time to rescue a student."
"You really shouldn't do that," said Cherry in a bored tone of voice. "It'll turn her loose in a minute or so."
"GRARRHHHH!" roared the pine, holding the girl up with one branch while making a scolding gesture with another branch.
"CHIDORI!"
"No, you definitely shouldn't do that," said Cherry with a sigh. "Nobody ever listens. This too, I suppose, is fate."
"What was on that paper anyway?" asked Naruto.
"Some sort of O-mikuji related to 'romance'," said Sasuke. "When she got it, she turned this sort of ash-gray and spent a good five minutes twitching. Never did let me see what it said."
"GRARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" went the tree as the trunk was cut through by Kakashi.
"Very very bad karma, very bad indeed," said Cherry as he shook his head.
Kakashi caught Sakura as she fell, then helped her deal with the choking hazard.
"Did..." Naruto paused as he tried to put it together. "We're in the shrine of a god of mischief, where a miracle has just happened by having a wish granted. Sakura was attacked by an animated tree after not liking the fortune she drew and tying it to a tree branch. Kakashi-sensei just killed that tree, belonging to a god of mischief?"
"It may not actually be a god, just a powerful entity capable of rearranging reality at a whim," noted Sasuke. Could just be someone with a really evolved Sharingan or something after all.
"Okay, and the little priest-guy has been muttering about fate and karma and bad things?" asked Naruto.
"When you say it like that, it doesn't sound all that brilliant, I admit," admitted Sasuke.
"Uh huh," said Naruto, turning to the priest. "Got anything for deflecting bad fortune?"
"A specialty item of the shrine," admitted Cherry.
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(Posted Sat, 21 Sep 2013 23:45)
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