Mischief Fragment - Wishcraft: Steamed Leaves [Episode 260892]

by Red Priest of the 17th Order

Raising a hand, the girl coughed into it to clear her throat. She then plainly replied, “Well, my name is Mei Terumi, originally of Kirigakure. I am blessed with a tri-elemental affinity due to my dual kekkei genkai: Earth, Fire, and Water.” She smiled as she heard a ‘hmph’ from Sasuke, the boy proud of his own bloodline which he still hadn’t unlocked. “As such, I am a possessor of the Lava Release AND the Boil Release. As for my like... well, I do enjoy ramen...”

“HA!” Naruto laughed, interrupting the girl. “See, Sasuke? Ramen IS the food of the kami! You’re the odd man out!”

Turning to the blond, the redhead have him a cute pout; one that would make men swoon in about ten more years. “Do you mind!? I didn’t interrupt you when you were on your own introductory shpiel.”

Surprisingly, the blond boy had the decency to look a little embarrassed. Bringing his right hand to the back of his head, he scratched his neck in a show of nervousness. “Erm... sorry Mei...”

Nodding her head, the girl replied, “Better. Anyway...” she took a deep breath. “To continue, I also like make-up and combing my hair; a girl has to look her best.” However, the smile disappeared, replaced by a serious frown. “I will admit, I don’t dislike much except one person: the Yondaime Mizukage. The genocidal freak has been killing anyone with a bloodline. My dream may be to one day become more blessed than Tsunade Senju but my ultimate goal is to take revenge on the Yondaime Mizukage... therefore becoming the Godaime Mizukage!” She smirked a little, deciding to lighten the atmosphere with, “And I’ll be certain to take my revenge before Sasuke AND become a Kage before Naruto!”

Her smirk widened into a full-blown grin as that had gotten the desired effect from her teammates. “WILL NOT!!” both boys shouted. She couldn’t help herself as she began giggling at the looks on their faces; blond then pouting as the brunette turned away, cursing himself for letting his emotions get the better of him.

Bringing a hand up to his face, Kakashi slid his fingers underneath his hia-te and rubbed his head in frustration. Why am I doing this again? he thought to himself bitterly. He was just going to fail them like he had the rest. “Anyway, tomorrow I—”

“Wait a minute!” the kunoichi of the group spoke up. “You didn’t introduce yourself!”

Hearing that, Naruto immediately stopped pouting. “Hey! That’s right, that’s right! You didn’t introduce yourself Kakashi-sensei! That seems awfully suspicious, having us talk about ourselves but not doing anything in return! Spill! Spill!”

Rolling his visible eye, the white-tressed ninja lounged a little. “You want to know about me? Fine then... my name is Kakashi Hatake. I have many likes and I dislike some things. My hobbies are none of your business and I have a dream... which I don’t feel like sharing with any of you.”

“HEY!” the jinchuuriki cried out in exasperation. “That doesn’t tell us anything except for your name!”

Shrugging his shoulders in a nonchalant manner, Kakashi merely replied. “Tough. Now then, as for tomorrow...” he trailed off as he noticed that the girl was grinning at him. “...Is there something you’d like to say, Terumi-chan?” he added the suffix to see if it could be a point of annoyance. When she didn’t get annoyed at him for calling her by that, he merely nodded his head to try and have the child get on with it.

“Well, if you’re rather shy, I could try for you...” young Mei said, grinning wider at the curious expression she could see in his own visible eye. “You are Kakashi Hatake, the famed Copy-Nin of Konoha! B-Rank Jounin, wielder of the Sharingan and master of over five-hundred jutsu...”

With that said the Uchiha heir immediately dropped his feigned disinterest and forcibly broke into the conversation. “Sharingan? You have the Sharingan!?” That couldn’t be! That was the bloodline of his family and he knew for a fact this man was NOT part of it! But if he did... hmm... yes... yes, it made sense now. They were giving him a teacher that would help him unlock his birthright so he could finally attain his just vengeance upon Itachi!

“...Five hundred jutsu?” Naruto whispered in awe, his daydreams immediately filled with visions of him wielding earth, wind, fire, water, and lightning all at once, the elements storming around him, taking out all kinds of enemy ninja as he merely sat down in the middle of the battlefield enjoying a bowl of ramen. “Wow! We hit the jackpot by getting Kakashi as a sensei! This is gonna be so awesome!”

Although he should have been worried that she had such information, the Jounin felt more annoyed at how out of date it was. “...B-Rank? I haven’t been a B-Rank for fifteen years now... and I’m at one-thousand jutsu...” Kakashi muttered in complaint. He then merely groaned as sparkles seemed to be coming off from Naruto’s eyes; the boy looking at him like how Mini-Gai would fawn over Big-Gai. I think I need to get an antacid... this is making my stomach churn... “Where did you get such information anyway?” he questioned of the redhead with bright blue eyes.

“Before I was traded to Konoha as part of the exchange program, I was given a number of things to take with me. One of them was—albeit already a couple of years old—at the time, the most recent edition of the Kiri Bingo Book...” she reached into the satchel she kept her school books in and proceeded to withdraw said reading material. “Although it’s out of date now, this book is still a remarkable piece of history. It’s filled with numerous ninja that just aren’t around anymore and lays the ground work for the humble beginnings for those who are now legends!” For emphasis, she flipped open the cover and brought it to the page with their Jounin Sensei-to-be’s entry, showing a picture of a much younger Kakashi, between a girl with purple clan markings on her face that were much like an Inuzuka clan member’s and a boy that was unmistakably an Uchiha... with goggles.

However, it was the visage of the man standing behind the group of students in the image that made the adult suddenly nervous. “... I think we should finish introductions now. You can read your book later. After all, I still need to tell you about—”

“Oh no!” Mei insisted. “There’s some really neat stuff in here that Konoha won’t print about their own ninja! In fact, my favorite shinobi of all is in here!” she flipped the pages some more, stopping on a full-page spread of the Fourth Hokage wielding one of his fuuinjustu-encrypted tri-pronged kunai with a small warning box at the bottom labeling him as, [Flee on Sight!].

The blond of the group grinned wide as he saw who Mei said was her favorite. “WOW! The Yondaime is your favorite!? He’s mine too!” The boy sat down, arms crossed over his chest as he somehow puffed up with pride. “He won’t be the best for long though! One day, I’ll become Hokage too! I will become Naruto Uzumaki, the Godaime Hokage! I’ll be way cooler than him too, believe it!” He then drew a kunai and imitated the pose that the Fourth had in his picture.

However, as he did this, Mei and Sasuke suddenly blanched, the two looking back and forth between the boy and the picture repeatedly, their minds making connections they’d rather NOT be creating. Kakashi for his part was looking decidedly uncomfortable. He had to nip this in the bud now before S-Rank Secrets started getting uncovered!

“ANYWAY!” the Jounin practically shouted, breaking the three Genin-to-be out of their tableau of shock—pride in Naruto’s case—and told them, “I want you three to meet me at Training Ground Four at six am, sharp! Also, it would be wise if you don’t eat any breakfast because you’ll throw up. DISMISSED!” With that said, he disappeared suddenly with a use of shunshin, the body flicker taking him away very far, very fast.


“Why am I remembering this all of a sudden?” Kakashi queried; grimacing as he noticed Sasuke just STARING at Naruto in a new light while the blond boy scratched the side of his head with his right hand, confused as ever.

Very simple,” the disembodied voice of Toltirr piped up. “This is what people in the entertainment industry refer to as a ‘Flashback’. It’s to do with the usual ‘Time Travellers Immunity’ paradox, whereas changes in the past effect everyone in the current time but the one who had travelled. But as that would make things a bit difficult for you and yoru followers, instead of leaving you high and dry, I’m integrating the memories of your now current past. You’ll remember Sakura and the times you had with her, but no one else. Instead, everyone In Konoha will remember getting their exchange student from Kiri, how well she did in her studies—some saying she’s a political prodigy—and that she’d always been a member of your Team Seven...

The Uchiha Heir tore his attention away from Naruto and shook his head, forcibly banishing the thoughts that had flowed in. No way. There was no way it was possible. Had to be a coincidence! Deciding to get his mind of a track he dare not want to see where it would lead to, Sasuke was quick to pip up, “Can you just forcibly erase our memories of Sakura? Please?”

The voice of the travelling god was silent for a moment. “...Why? She wasn’t that much of an annoying fangirl, was she?

Sasuke just stared up at the golden eye. “For an omnipresent entity, you have no idea...”

Oh, I actually do,” the disembodied voice of the chaos kitty replied. “Unfortunately, if I did so, then you wouldn’t remember me having granted the girl’s request in the first place... and then you’d bug me to grant MORE favors...” the voice seemed to huff. “To be frank, I’m a busy passing entity and I can’t waste time. There’s still more flashbacks to observe!

The white-tressed Jounin raised his head to look up at the golden feline eye in the middle of a black mass of clouds. “There’s more?”

There’s more!


Hearing the sound of feet coming his way, Naruto glanced up from where he’d been sitting and smiled when he saw Mei walking towards him and the teme. The redhead was carrying a small Styrofoam tray topped with two cups of instant ramen, one cup of instant tomato soup, and chopsticks in her hands. “Good morning, Mei!!” the boy cheered as he got up and ran over to the girl. Taking a pair of chopsticks and breaking them apart, the prankster then swiped a ramen cup, digging in and slurping noodles quickly. “Ahsogood!” he cried out in one breath. “Thank you, Mei! You’re a lifesaver!”

Sasuke just stared at the girl with a cold gaze, ignoring the growling of his stomach when he realized that she had tomato soup with her. “Trying to sabotage us? You KNOW Hatake said not to eat anything.”

The woman rolled her eyes at the Uchiha’s guarded nature. “Oh please, we’re ninja... we need something to keep our energy up. We’ll be exhausting ourselves as we spend a lot of our energy with jutsu and training. How does he expect us to function properly and get the most out of our training if we don’t have at least something that will be light on our stomachs?”

Blinking his eyes, Sasuke considered that for a moment. “All right... fine...” he got up and walked over to the two. Stopping before the redhead, he firmly told her, “But let’s be certain about something. If I take this soup, it’s not me accepting a token of affection or a promise to go on a date. It’s just a teammate accepting some offered food from another for the benefit of the team’s overall performance: got it?”

Again, girl had to roll her eyes. “Please, Sasuke. Did I EVER chase you in the Academy? Hell, I think the Hyuuga and I were the only girls taking our studies seriously at the time...” she paused and considered that for a moment. “Maybe Yamanaka too, but I think she was getting help from her family after school hours to make sure she saved face. She still did pretty well but I can’t think of any point where she was truly focused on the lessons...”

“...No... no you did not,” Sasuke replied. His own ego and fear soothed, he ignored the chopsticks and simply grabbed the cup. Feeling that it wasn’t too hot, he merely brought the cup to his lips and tilted, drinking the soup directly. Mmm... creamy tomato. My favorite.

Yep, she wasn’t a fangirl, wouldn’t be useless if the demonstrations of her Kekkei Genkai during the Academy were any indication, and she brought him tomato soup. He could deal with this—now if only he could bring the dobe up to speed so he wouldn’t be a liability.

“See? Much better!” Mei cooed as she walked over to a tree stump and placed the tray down. She then grasped a pair of chopsticks and broke them before grasping the last ramen cup. Stirring the contents with the wooden eating utensils, she added, “And besides, you don’t have to worry about this weighing to heavily in your stomach. It’s not like we won’t have time to digest.”

“Huh?” the blond questioned around a mouthful of noodles and a few blocks of tofu. Chewing vigorously and swallowing, he then asked in a louder voice, “What do you mean?” He then started to stuff noodles into his mouth once more.

The girl shook his head mirthfully, glancing at Sasuke who was trying to look disinterested as he continued to drink his soup. “Well, if the rumors are true, we’ll probably be waiting here for a few hours.”

“PFFFT!!” the boy spit out broth and bits of ramen noodle... all over Sasuke. “WHA~AAAAAT!?” the whiskered boy screamed even as the Uchiha grumbled and tried to wipe his shirt clean with his hand as he glared at the dobe. “But... but... but he’s a Jounin; he can’t do something like that! I bet you that he’ll appear out of nowhere, real soon too! I’ve seen them do that, you know!” the boy argued. “Besides, you heard what he said! He’s super cool, with over a thousand jutsu! He can’t be some lazy jerk! He’s not Shikamaru.”


Arms crossed over his chest, Kakashi appeared to be a bit put off. “Cheaters... I specifically told you three not to eat... although I must admit, you cheated in a very ninja-esque fashion so I’ll let it slide this time...”

“...Wow...” Naruto whispered, eyes wide with awe. “I can’t believe how naïve I was back then...” He couldn’t help but smile though. Ramen. Mei brought him ramen! That instantly made her a good person in his book!

Sasuke snorted. “What do you mean, ‘back then’? You still are, dobe...” he licked his lips. It might have been instant but that tomato soup had been decent. Come to think of it, he did have memories now... it seemed that every other day, Temuri would show up with soup for him and ramen cups for herself and Naruto while they awaited the lazy bastard to show up. Oh yeah, they were definitely getting the better end of the deal with the Sakura Trade-In.

Hey now, Naruto is getting better,” the voice of the Divine Entity insisted. “And it doesn’t hurt that thanks to her being ret-conned as your third teammate that you’ve both learned a few new techniques...

That got both boys’ attention, the duo ever hungry to become stronger. “Techniques!?” they both cried out.

Oh yes, quite... in fact...


“Argh! I can’t believe it! Sensei is late AGAIN!!” Naruto howled, tearing at his hair with both hands.

The Uchiha Heir snorted. “Dobe, give it a rest. I think the past week has been enough to let us known that he’s not taking this seriously...” he grumbled irritably. Damn it! If their sensei wasn’t taking them seriously, then how was he going to get strong enough to defeat his brother!?

Dropping down to sit on the bridge, the blond crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. “It’s not fair! He shows up late every time and then all we have time for are these stupid D-Rank missions while he reads porn!”

“Aww, poor Naruto...” Mei cooed. “Are you still upset that Kakashi-sensei poked you in the ass?”

The boy’s face turned redder than the girl’s hair. “Didn’t happen.”

“...But...” Mei tried.

“Didn’t happen!” the Jinchuuriki of Konoha insisted. “I reject your reality and substitute it with my own!” It was how he managed to deal with his live every day before becoming a shinobi and it still had its uses.

“Awww... is little Uzumaki still upset about the Ass-Poke of Doom?” Mei asked, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes as the boy grumbled and turned away from her. “Aww, don’t be like that Naruto-kun. We already have enough emo from Sasuke here.”

“Hn!” Sasuke replied, staring at the girl from under the fringe of his hair.

Rolling her eyes as the two were refusing to put up with her good-natured teasing this morning—honestly, it’s like she had to bring them food every time if she wanted to get away with this—the kunoichi shook her head. “Oh, brother...” Mei sighed, glancing between the other two. “Oh whatever! I guess I’ll go find a good spot to wait by myself then...” so saying, she walked across the bridge and made her way down the canal before she stepped right onto the flowing stream and made her way to the center of it before she merely stood on the water.

As she stood there, Mei suppressed the smile she could feel tugging at the corners of her lips. The complete silence that fell over the bridge before she was even towards the center of flowing water was rather telling. As she expected, the calm didn’t last.

“MEI!?” the blond boy screamed in shock, pointing at her. “HOW THE HECK ARE YOU DOING THAT!?”

Even Sasuke paid attention, an eyebrow raised as he noticed the seemingly impossible feat.

Slowly, the redheaded Kiri kunoichi turned to look at the two, managing a vaguely puzzled expression. “Why, whatever could you possibly mean, Naruto-kun?” she asked coyly, toying with the easily excitable blond boy’s expectations.

The boy was at a loss for words, hands clenching and unclenching spasmodically. “You’re... it’s like... you’re defying gravity or something!” he finally managed to say, awe prevalent in his voice.

Now Mei allowed herself to smile, having hooked the boys’ attention. “What? This? It’s just Water Walking... just a staple chakra exercise of Kiri... I had a scroll amidst my belongings and taught myself. It’s not really hard either. I’m sure if I taught you, you could do it in time; you just have to flatten your feet and concentrate chakra at just the right frequency into soles to where you can balance yourself on the surface of the water but not enough where you repel yourself off of it or break through down into the water...” then, as an afterthought, she added, “I’ll admit, it took me a while before I finally stopped falling in.”

“You taught yourself?” the Junchuuriki repeated. He then smiled wide as he balled his hands into fists. “OH THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!” He cried out before he threw himself over the side of the bridge, concentrating his chakra into his feet.

The redhead’s eyes widened. “WAIT! NARUTO! YOU CAN”T JUST—”

*SPLASH*!

“...Drop in like that...” she finished lamely as Naruto’s head broke the surface of the water and he spit out a good deal of water.

Waking over to the side of the bridge, Sasuke glanced over the rail and stared at his two teammates, both of whom were now either on or in the stream. “Not all that surprising for the Dead Last...”

Mei hid her smirk, knowing she now hooked the Uchiha as well. “Oh? So you have no desire to learn? I admit, Naruto is off to a poor start but he’s excited to train and learn things that Kakashi-sensei isn’t even bothering to help us with.”

The other eyebrow rose to meet the first. “...Point...” he sighed as he made his way across the bridge and down into the canal. “Okay, so what is it I have to do if I’m to walk on water?”

“Hey!” Naruto shouted. “Get your own teacher, teme! Temuri-sensei is MINE!”

EEP!” was the horrified cry from a nearby bush. All three turned towards it, all curious.

Not surprisingly, it was the stoic Sasuke that recovered first. “Whatever. The point is, Mei has a point. Just because that asshole Kakashi is wasting our time doesn’t mean we have to.” He looked towards the kunoichi and bowed his head. “Please, Temuri-sensei. I am yours to teach.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” was the numerous female cries that sounded off from various parts of the area: nearby buildings, trashcans, rooftops, from underneath the bridge...


“...I hate fangirls so very much...” the Uchiha heir grunted irritably. Not even the fact that he now knew Water Walking and Tree Climbing could hide the growing ire that he was still being stalked by Academy Graduates and those who had to retake the last year.

“You called me an asshole...” said a perturbed Kakashi, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the Uchiha heir.

Surprisingly, it was Naruto that realized something. “Hey! Excuse me? God Kitty?”

Mmmmyeesssss?” Toltirr replied as the golden eye looked down at the boy, casting its light upon him.

Realizing he was in the proverbial and literal spotlight, Naruto more calmly questioned, “How come Kakashi-sensei gets to remember all of this? It’s not like he was there or anything...”

Actually, he was,” the disembodied voice replied. “It’s just he spends an hour or so studying you three, observing how well you get along as part of his job to enhance teamwork... when he’s not read his porn, that is,” Toltirr quickly added. “So it just happens to be that experience was one he was around to watch.

Naruto turned to his sensei. “And you just let me fall into a river!?”

Shrugging, the Copy-Nin was quick to reply, “Sometimes the hard path is the only way people will learn.”

And,” Toltirr was quick to explain. “It doesn’t hurt that in doing so, she pretty much has been doing his job for him, giving him time to read his porn and enjoy the money he gets to scrap off the top of your D-Rank payments. Do you know he gets sixty-percent while you Genin have to split the other forty?

“...Sasuke’s right, you are an asshole!” the Jinchuuriki cried out indignantly as the brunette boy merely nodded in agreement.

Kakashi blinked his visible eye once, twice. “...Ouch...”

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(Posted Mon, 16 Sep 2013 23:21)


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