"He was thrown out of the orphanage," said Hiruzen Sarutobi.
"Maybe I should just take him as an apprentice after all," suggested Jiraiya.
"No. You can't take him out of the village, and your spy network is entirely too valuable for you to abandon it," said the Hokage.
"Okay then, Plan B," said Jiraiya.
"I've already started arrangements for him to live by himself in a small apartment," began Hiruzen Sarutobi.
"Not necessary, I have a Plan B," said Jiraiya.
"You have a plan?" asked the Hokage.
"Someone owes me a favor, a huge one, I'm calling it in," said Jiraiya. "You'll hear back from me in about a week. My messenger will use the codephrase from page 212 of Gutsy Ninja."
"You're from who?" asked the Hokage, staring at the messenger. Yes, she'd known the appropriate phrase. This was just not at all what he expected.
"Jiraiya sent me," said the woman in a professional dress/blouse combination as she adjusted her glasses. "My name is Henrietta. I am a Level 7 Administrator for the Daitoku Conglomerate."
Hiruzen Sarutobi blinked. There were big businesses in the Elemental Countries. Trading companies like Peerless and shippers like Gato Corporation. Then there were zaibatsu that oversaw dozens of companies and corporations. There were two of these zaibatsu that were giants among these groups. Daitoku or "Great Profit" was one of those two.
"I am here to oversee the housing, education, and development of skills of the new adopted grandson of the main branch family of Daitoku - Naruto Namikaze-Uzumaki." Henrietta pulled out a folder and glanced at an empty-seeming section of the room.
"Stand down," said the Hokage, a little impressed that a civilian had picked up that flicker of wariness from a hidden ANBU. But then again, she HAD mentioned that she was a Level 7 Administrator. Meaning that in the world of business and corporations she was the rough equivelant of a low-jonin.
Henrietta placed the folder on the desk and opened it to reveal forms that had been neatly filled out. "As you can see, the condition that Naruto-sama remain within your village and fulfill his current career track has been addressed. I think you'll find the relevant paperwork requirements have been met."
"I think I would be rather surprised if they were not," stated the Hokage drily.
Naruto was looking over the trashcan, wondering if he was REALLY hungry enough to dumpster-dive, when he found himself plucked up from that spot and hauled along at high speed.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?! I DIDN'T DO NOTHING!!! THIS TIME!" yelped Naruto.
Abruptly he was before the Hokage and a bunch of people he didn't recognize. "WHAT THE HE... Hey Jiji. Uhm? I have no idea how that can of paint ended up over the door to that old geezer's house."
"'Old Geezer'?" asked the Hokage.
Some guy with a large book opened it and consulted a page. "He is referring to Daisuke Nakajima - who threw rotten produce at Naruto-sama yesterday to chase him away from his food stall. At 0845 this morning, Naruto-sama placed a can of blue paint atop a slightly ajar door on Nakajima's home."
"Uhm," said Naruto.
"Of course, that was completely inadequate and improper and so the prank was disarmed," said the guy with a book. "If Naruto-sama would give permission?"
"'Permission'?" asked Naruto, wondering why they were calling him '-sama' anyway.
A woman with glasses gave him a frosty look. "Inadequate indeed. Very well. Hien?"
"With pleasure," said a mischievous looking youth before he disappeared.
"Whoa," said Naruto, thinking a fast-escape technique like that looked REALLY handy.
"Naruto-sama, if you will come with us," said the glasses-wearing woman. "We have arranged a new house and sufficient training equipment for you."
"All right, Naruto is getting special training so he won't be joining us," said Iruka. "Today's subject is the Second Shinobi War."
Sakura smirked. Remedial training? Good! I'll just grab that seat next to Sasuke the moment the teacher's back is turned.
Ino flipped her hair. That idiot's gone? The intelligence level of the class just rose! And that means that seat there next to Sasuke is MINE the moment the teacher turns away.
Sasuke brooded. Just get on with the useless drivel so that I can get to the 'getting stronger' part.
"Is he all right?" asked a familiar voice somewhere in the darkness.
"Just exhausted himself. Poor guy. Must not have gotten much encouragement. You just have to explain what to do, how to do it, and WHY it is important - give him a little pep talk when his first attempt doesn't work-"
"Good. His chakra control is crap, but if he works hard at it that might just save his life."
"I'll have to make him something special for dinner! Allonzy!"
"Is it true?" asked Inoichi, sitting down at the table and glancing at his two friends.
"Yup," said Choza Akimichi. "Orders of food supplies to the mansion - which is under Daitoku and Uzumaki banners."
"Yeah. Confirmed. Troublesome." Shikaku Nara swirled his drink around, letting the ice clink briefly.
"So, these Daitoku are rich or something?" asked Inoichi.
His two friends stopped what they were doing to stare at him.
"Well, that's what I heard anyway," followed up Inoichi.
"Daitoku is a zaibatsu - a clan-owned managing company that has dozens of companies under it." Shikaku sat back and regarded the ceiling. "They have a bank, manufacturing companies, shipping, trading, finishing - the works. Mostly they deal in a single thing though. Textiles. Some metals. Furniture. Other stuff."
"They also have a food branch," said Choza. "That bar-b-que restaurant in town? That's theirs. So is a bread shop and a tea place. Local owners but part of a chain and at the top of it is Daitoku."
"Oh," said Inoichi. "So - like Gato Shipping?"
Shikaku shook his head. "No. Gato Shipping crosses the line into black market. Open secret that. Gato is very rich, mind you. Daitoku could buy and sell a hundred Gato on a slow day. They're not just wealthy - more obscenely wealthy."
"So they can hire ninja for missions here in Konoha?" asked Inoichi. More business was a good thing.
"Part of the agreement that the Hokage made with them is that they hire Konoha ninja for all business outside their own personal security and training and such," said Shikaku. "It's all in legalese - but basically expect a lot of missions going from B to D will be sent our way. They get a discount, but not much of one and active ninja can be offered a discount at their stores."
Choza nodded. "My clan has already been contacted about providing security on the supply runs for their restaurant."
"Huh. Why all that just to adopt some orphan kid? Because of That?" asked Inoichi.
Shikaku smirked, the scars on his face twisting the expression a bit. "That boy is apparently Kushina Uzumaki's kid."
"Wait. Didn't she and her child die in..." Inoichi winced and settled back. "Oh hell. That means the father is-"
"Yeah," said Shikaku.
Inoichi sat very still.
"Yeah. As an 'adopted grandson' of the Daitoku - he isn't going to inherit anything but anyone attacks him, they're attacking family now," said Choza, pouring himself some tea. "Attack one of them, they'll all find ways to make your life miserable."
Inoichi tried to remember one time his little girl had had anything good to say about Naruto Uzumaki.
"Dirty filthy monster, someone should drown him!"
"That demon. Letting IT train to be a ninja."
The butler snapped off the small device.
"I see," said the Hokage.
"The current plan is to instruct, watch, and evaluate Naruto-sama's ability to make traps and otherwise plan out appropriate nonlethal methods of revenge," said the butler.
"I approve," said the Hokage, an evil grin forming. "In fact. I think I have an excellent instructor to add. For local flavoring of course."
"Of course," said the butler.
The Hokage generally wasn't one to walk the streets of Konohagakure quite this morning.
"AHHHHHHHH! WHY ARE THERE FISH ENTRAILS IN MY VEGETABLE STALL?!"
"Ah. Konoha Food Inspection. Oh. This looks very bad."
There were times when he wanted to go out and see how things were going though. Nothing beat the personal touch at times after all.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Wasn't that the village gossip having stepped on a plank of wood that somehow went flying up and launching her towards where a broken water pipe had formed a rather large mud pit?
KER-PLUNK!
Splattering the clothes out drying fresh from the wash of at least three of her frequent confederates?
"Odd weather today," offered the Hokage as he passed by.
"Hai, Hokage-sama," answered the ANBU Cat.
"Indeed, Hokage-sama," answered the ANBU Inu.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed a woman who had somehow become coated in cheese-sauce and was being pursued by a large number of mice.
"Looks to be a warm one today," noted the Hokage. "Oh, and Anko? Your genjutsu looks quite nice. Not enough to fool anyone over genin but improved from the last I've seen from you. Working with Kurenai?"
Anko popped up from behind a bush. "Just showing the gaki how you can fit genjutsu and physical traps together."
"Of course, of course," said the Hokage. "Carry on."
"WHY IS THERE A BEEHIVE IN MY... WHY AM I STANDING HERE ASKING QUESTIONS?!"
"A real beehive?" asked the Hokage.
"A nearly empty one, with five bees still remaining," said Inu after taking a look.
"Ah," said the Hokage, continuing his walk. Really, for the demon comment he was prepared to send the whole group to Ibiki. This was more merciful and good training at the same time.
"I GOT TURNED INTO A FERRET! A FERRET!"
"What was that?" asked the Hokage after the old man ran past them.
"No clue, he wasn't on the list," said Inu, shrugging.
"Ah," said the Hokage, continuing his walk. Yes, had to let the citizens see he wasn't dead or anything. If anything he felt an extra spring in the step today for some reason.
Naruto's eyes were wide as he saw the results of his most recent lessons.
Timed traps. Layered traps. Layered triggers. Using one trap to set up a series of pranks which all came down on one individual. Using genjutsu, something he'd discounted because he sucked at it, to enhance a setup. Dispel the genjutsu and they were still stuck with whatever the prank was.
Of course, as had been pointed out - you could use things like this as a ninja. Using poisons, explosive tags, senbon or other pointy metal bits, and so on instead of paint or animal pheromones or other tricks.
"This is AWESOME," summed up Naruto.
"Yes, Master Naruto," said the butler, appearing without so much as a whisper behind him. Even if he sounded as if he were bored with the entire thing. "Surprise, misdirection, and trickery are all as much tools of experienced ninja as much as kunai or shuriken."
"Bye bye," said Naruto as the bulk of his staff left. "What am I gonna do all alone in a big mansion?"
"Not all," pointed out Norman. "Though technically, for general purposes, I am simply Henrietta's aide-de-camp."
"And I am the financial overseer here in Konohagakure for all issues related to businesses owned in this section of the Land Of Fire," stated Henrietta. "And with that - I must return to my other duties."
"And I must interview various maids for positions on staff," sighed Norman. "Tedious."
"You are aware that at least four applicants are spies from various ninja clans, aren't you?" asked Henrietta. She pushed her glasses back into place after shaking her head. "Never mind. You probably know that better than myself."
Norman remained stiffly proper as Henrietta left before looking down at Naruto. "Five actually. Out of twelve applicants. And we don't require that many maids in any case."
"So whatcha gonna do?" asked Naruto, curious.
Norman huffed in such a way that it quivered his moustache. "I have to reject various clan operatives in such a way that it does not reflect badly upon the operative OR their clan. The others might not have the clan angle to consider, but will need evaluation on their own merits."
"I'm going training then," said Naruto. "I gotta be lots better!"
"Indeed, young sir," said Norman. "We all have our own hardships to shoulder."
Naruto ducked, rolled, and came up in a position to block the next strike with his weapon.
"Better," proclaimed his sensei. "So I can get sword now?" asked Naruto.
"No," said his sensei.
"Why not?!" asked Naruto.
"Because you're nine years old," said his sensei. "Second - your natural fighting style is NOT fitting for a sword."
"Huh?" asked Naruto. "What do you mean?"
"When you strike in unarmed combat, you strategize on the fly. You do not go in with a plan. You bull through obstacles instead of going around them." His sensei shook his head. "When you make chunin - THEN you can start kenjutsu training. Under someone else because this is just a temporary job for me. Train with the chain weapons, the staff, and the tonfa instead."
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(Posted Thu, 29 Jan 2015 07:10)
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