If you could call them friends, that is. Hmmm.
Why couldn’t they let him think for himself! He had a brain, he was just never allowed to use it! Through lack of exercise, Ranma’s brain was effectively the equivalent of a 200kg Nacho stuffing couch potato. No wonder his mouth ran faster then his mind, and as usual, the Saotome mouth sprang into action
“Grrr… I wish I had at least ONE fiancée who'd be nice and listen to me and would actually help me in situations like this."
Suddenly a booming voice echoed through the sky, kinda like in Monty python and the Holy Grail. Heavenly choir in the background, lights from above, wash of sudden wind, and the Voice proclaimed:
“Oh, shit…” Ranma summed up.
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR," growled a large mastiff before she was hit in the nose by Ryouga.
"Oh my," said Kasumi.
"A golden opportunity, wasted," grumbled Nabiki.
"Ranchan!" "Airen!" "Ranma-darling!" "YOU IDIOT!"
"Ranchan, how could you wish for another fiancee when you've got me?"
"Airen no go make stupid wishes like that!"
"Ranma-darling! Come with me away from these harridans."
Ranma sulked. Of course it hadn't done him any good.
Sailor Pluto was the guardian of the gate. The loneliest Senshi. She who guarded the Gate Of Time and who would kill any who ventured near.
Well, except for Small Lady.
"Pizza!"
Oh, and the pizza delivery guy. But he was cute and you had to make exceptions for cute guys right?
Actually she didn't. As she was standing there staring at a cute guy who had shown up at the Gates Of Time on a motorscooter with the slogan [Pizza Trek! We deliver anywhere!] and was unpacking some boxes, her stomach growled but she otherwise had trouble believing she was seeing what she was seeing..
"Excuse me, but these are the Gates Of Time," pointed out Sailor Pluto who wondered if maybe the long thankless hours guarding a Gate that nobody ever bloody used anyway had taken its toll.
"Right, yuir Sailor Pluto, right?" The guy doffed his hat. "Anyway, we've got an order for one of our specialty calzone - meatball and hold the garlic. Also a large salad, a pot of Lemon-Honey-Ginseng Green Tea, and an order of dipping sticks with a side of ranch sauce. Sign here please."
Sailor Pluto's mouth opened and closed. "You do realize that you can't get to the Gates Of Time by normal means?"
"Aye, it was a difficult ride, but our motto is our pizza is out of this world - but worth coming back for." The guy scratched his head. "Or was that our motto last week? Difficult to keep track y'know."
"You do realize I have to kill anyone who approaches the Gates?" Pluto pressed.
"Well, I'm not actually approaching the Gates, am I? I'm approaching you. Sign here will ya?" The pizza guy held out a clipboard.
"Actually I ordered the food, keep the change," said a teenage pinkhaired girl as she swept by Pluto and grabbed the clipboard.
"Oy ma'am, always glad to help the royals I am," said the delivery guy with a sketchy bow before he got on his motorscooter and rode off.
"You'll have to try their breadsticks sometime, Puu," said the teenage Chibi-usa. "They're to die for."
Now Pluto was gaping at the not-so-chibi Chibi-usa. Maybe fifteen or sixteen, pink hair back in a long braid, wearing a Chinese dress. "Small Lady?"
"Hi Puu," said the not-so-small lady. "Oh. By the way. My old friend, companion, confidante - Hotaru? By proclamation of Queen Serenity she is engaged retroactively to Ranma Saotome. Here's the proclamation."
Sailor Pluto's hand was shaking as she took the scroll. What the heck had happened?
The scroll unfurled and revealed the image of Queen Neo-Serenity.
"Pluto-san. You have served the Kingdom well. Now however you will tend to something even more important than guarding the Gate Of Time. This is to be your primary concern until it is accomplished."Hotaru Tomoe, our own Sailor Saturn, will be engaged to Ranma Saotome. I'd say get them married but you aren't exactly that experienced with romance either, are you? Okay? Good. Well what are you waiting for? Get started!"
Pluto furled the scroll up. "Uhm. 'Ranma Saotome'?"
"Try the calzone. You'll like it," suggested Chibi-usa. "Though you ought to get started soon before something awful happens in the past to Ranma and he can't marry Hotaru - thereby dooming Crystal Tokyo - ensuring that the human race dies out two months later and causing plenty bad juju all around."
"Ah. 'Bad juju'?" Pluto asked.
"Frankly, I'd do it. You have no idea how upset Mom would be if you screwed this up, Puu." Chibi-usa looked off as she munched on a Crazy Bread. "I don't understand what she meant, but she said to mention 'the frog puppet' and that you'd know what she meant. Hmmm. Guess you do."
Sailor Pluto had just turned white to the tips of her hair.
Chibi-usa munched thoughtfully on her Crazy Bread and wondered if she was better off not knowing what all that was about.
Setsuna
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(Posted Fri, 25 Jul 2003 12:49)
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