The Rival Relief Office used the Barely Adequate Force and was headquartered in an area that was a Phillip Marlowe fan's sort of Heaven.
The Department of Cosmic Justice, Irony, and Vengeance was right across the hall from the Bureau Of Celestial Enlightenment and next door to the Divine Intervention Organization & Services. Or ZEUS, the BCE, & DIOS.
If the wish had been granted by the GRO or the EAH, a beautiful or cute goddess would have appeared and worked at granting Ranma's wish. Brilliant light from forehead, sudden elemental discharge, etcetera. The RRO would have sent an operative who would have used whatever resources they could to fix things. BCE, on the rare occasions they were involved, would have let Ranma know how to fulfill his own wish. DIOS didn't do wishes. This was coming from ZEUS. It was ZEUS by the way, and not DCJIV because the office was headed by a guy of the same name for the past millenia and it was darn well gonna stay that way.
The Wish came down and many people thought long and hard about how it should be granted.
Zeus himself was actually amused. The right girl could make all your problems seem lighter, and in Saotome's case could actually help him out a lot. The older god nodded. People had never really understood that the mortal lovers had been because Hera was prone to go "visit" the nymphs and had an affair with Diana regularly. He chose one girl for the poor transgendered guy, feeling sympathy for his plight.
Definitely on the other hand was a guy by the name of Eros who thought any of the girls currently with Ranma Saotome could be altered to fit the conditions of the wish. Hmmm. Taking little stoppered vials out, he mixed "Lust" "Agape" "Devotion" and "Desire" into an arrowhead. He wrote Ranma's name on the arrow, sighted carefully at someone who normally was associated with Ranma anyway, and shot. Then went back to the really screwed up love triangle in Okayama. So he didn't even notice that for once, he'd shot the wrong person.
Realizing that Ranma's life was as screwed up in the love department as certain other persons, Bacchus arranged for a nice girl for Saotome to be engaged to. (hic) And her too. (hic) Make it three. (hic) Aw why not just give him a whole bunch!
The Norse goddess of love, Astrild was intrigued. A chance to prove that no matter what Urd or Freja might say - she was still the one in charge. And arranging for this girl to discover she was engaged to Ranma and fall in love in first sight would surely do that.
Hephaestus thought it was about time he got involved with this sort of thing. There was one that looked like a good match.
This was her chance, thought Freja now she could really strut her stuff and prove once and for all she was the queen of love spells.
Of course, nobody coordinated any of the efforts. Then they turned their attentions back to their individual jobs, each feeling a little bit happier about the chance to do this good deed.
"Oh my," said Kasumi.
"A golden opportunity, wasted," grumbled Nabiki.
"Ranchan!" "Airen!" "Ranma-darling!" "YOU IDIOT!"
"Ranchan, how could you wish for another fiancee when you've got me?"
"Airen no go make stupid wishes like that!"
"Ranma-darling! Come with me away from these harridans."
Ranma sulked. Of course it hadn't done him any good.
"Excuse me, is there a 'Ranma Saotome' here?"
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(Posted Thu, 21 Nov 2002 11:21)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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