See Cheetah run.
See Cheetah run while Terrorists are shooting steel core, silver-plated ammunition.
RUN LIKE HELL, CHEETAH, RUN LIKE HELL!!!
"%@#%$#*@!!!" One guess who that was. And it ain't Lydia.
"Damn... I didn’t know Ranma could swear like you, Lyds." Britanny commented as she tried to dodge rocket fire.
"Well what do you #@$& expect?" Lydia snapped. "They're trying to #$@%in' shoot us!!!"
"Quick! Britanny! Head for the Gina-Mobile MK VI!" Gina screamed, only to realize Britanny was already next to it.
"Way ahead of you!" Britanny said as she came to a screeching halt.
"And can you shut off that $#%@in' car alarm! It’s driving me &@#%in' nuts!" Lydia screamed.
Gina did just that as she started revving the motor as Britanny was seating Lydia and Ranma between them. "I still think bringing a car with only two seats was a stupid idea!" Britanny commented.
Gina would have retorted had she not seen all the Tanks in the rearview mirror. "Jinkies! They're coming after us! What did we ever do to them!?"
"Never mind that! Just $%#&in' drive!" Lydia screamed.
"Please Dr Diggers, they'll be here any moment!" Ranma agreed.
And with that, Gina pressed the pedal to the metal, and they were speeding like bats out of hell...
"I can't believe I broke a date with my boyfriend for this! Iran doesn't even have any half-way decent malls!" Britanny whined.
Lydia glared. "Your boyfriend? YOUR $#@%IN' BOYFRIEND!? Ha! I was there at El Dorado! Everyone knows that Stripe had the hots for my little sister!"
"Ex-CUSE ME!?" Britanny asked. "I didn’t see Ranma doing anything with Stripe. Heck, we also know who he got flowers for and spent most of his time with."
"Only because you %#$@in' jumped him like a depraved alley cat in heat." Lydia said
"WHAT!? Oh I do NOT need this crap right now, you dirty rat!" Britanny growled
Blushing a color almost the same shade as her hair, Ranma said, "Sis... Britanny..." Ranma was thoroughly embarrassed, and unsure of how to talk about this subject. When she had met the Prince alongside Britanny and the others, he seemed to take quite an interest in her... Of course, Stripe had been kept preoccupied as Britanny kept jumping the guy like a horny jackrabbit every time he tried to get close... But Ranma was sure that he didn't feel for her that way. She was a werewolf. Stripe was a cat-man. Besides, wasn't there something about Cats and Dogs being together causing the apocalypse.
Sighing, Brit knew she wasn't going to get the rat to see things her way, so decided to change topics, "Hey, Gina, can this bucket of bolts go any faster?"
"Relax, Cheetah." Gina said as she drove. My Gina-Mobile is the fastest thing in the desert! The only thing that can catch THIS baby is one of the high-tech M-80 'Turbo Tanks'! And I know they don't have-"
"I hear Benny Hill music, Gina." Britanny interrupted "That's NEVER a good sign..."
"Uh, Gina, Britanny..." Ranma said. She was pointing behind them. Britanny took a look and saw a large, fast moving tank behind them with the label of 'Turbo' on the front.
Sighing, Britanny said, "Aw, crap. I just KNEW this is gonna be one of THOSE days again..."
The man driving the tank looked back at his commander who was at the tank turret. "I've ordered the cease-fire as your greatness commanded, General Akbar, sir... But why?"
The General snorted. "I've identified them, Driver. I recognize the blond one from propaganda new broadcasts on CNN! She is the American, capitalist, tomb-robbing running she-dog known as the GOLD DIGGER! She's obviously here to plunder treasure from the Father Land as she has done to other nations stupid enough to let her roam UNCHECKED! Her disgusting decadence is merely an exemplary of the typical American greed that stains the Western world! I intend to capture her and her large-breasted, furry, lascivious, (but rather attractive) she beast and discover what they know!"
Britanny, who had good hearing in her hybrid form looked back at Ahkbar. "LASCIVIOUS!?"
"How come everyone always notices Brit's body, but never mine?" Gina muttered.
"WHO @#$%IN' CARES!?" Lydia asked. "WE GOTTA #$%@IN' GET AWAY OR WE'RE @#&$IN' DEAD IN THE WATER!!!"
"May I make a suggestion?" Ranma asked. Gina, Britanny, and Lydia turned to her.
(------)
Some time later, we see Britanny, Gina, Lydia, and Ranma walking down the corridor of a hallway, the entrance to the grave/temple of the Emperor Tyranthrax.
Gina shines the light of her flashlight all around, trying to get a good enough view as possible. "Whew... I thought I'd never get that door open..."
"Aw, quite belly-aching, sis." Britanny said. "If it wasn't for Ranma's idea to kick up that sand with the thrust, and then jumping out to let those jerks chase the car on automatic drive, they'd still be chasing us."
Ranma blushed at the compliment from Britanny. "It was nothing, Britanny. I saw it in a movie once, and thought it might work for us."
Britanny nodded her head. She blinked as she realized she stepped in... Something! She didn't know what the heck it was, but it obviously wasn't sanitary. "Eww... Every time we into some spooky place like this, it's dusty and dark! Why can't we go poking around in a NICE place every once in awhile?"
Gina ignored Britanny's complaints as she noticed marking on the wall. Lydia noticed that as well and said, "Wait... Is that writing?"
Gina nodded and got closer. "It is... But writing wasn't invented until about 3300 B.C.! My calculations date this site at nine thousand years old and-HEY!!!" Gina squealed as she felt something grab her backpack. She turned her head to see Britanny rummaging through it. "Brit, what are you doing? Get out of my pack, you might break something!"
"Aw, chill!" Britanny said. "I just want to borrow that Time & Space Phone of yours."
As Britanny was tapping in some number, Gina asked, "That's my Transdimensional Communicator! Who're you going to call?"
"Stripe, my boyfriend." Britanny answered. "They don't have phone lines where he lives and you gave him one of these, remember?"
Gina shrugged her shoulders. "All right, but keep it down. I'm trying to think here."
Britanny just nodded her head. "Hello? HII MUFFFFIIIIIN!!! How's my Prince of El Dorado?"
Lydia snorted. As far as she was concerned, Stripe should have been her sister's boyfriend. So what if Ranma was only 16, and the Prince looked like a cat? The Prince had his eyes on Ranma first, and then that ALLEY CAT just had to butt her way into the picture.
"Awww... That's so sweet, I missed you too..." Britanny made a few kissing noises, "Do you want to spend the weekend together next week?" Britanny blinked. "What, you want to talk to Ranma!?"
That caught a few people's attention, though they tried to continue to look busy. Gina continued trying to translate the scripture, and Lydia was right by her, trying to look busy. Ranma was blushing and trying to look anywhere but at Britanny.
With a sigh, Britanny walked over to Ranma. "Hey, phone for ya'."
"T, thank you." Ranma said, and daintily took the phone from Britanny. "Hello, Prince Stripe? Yes, I'm doing fine. How are your duties as Prince? I hope they're not overbearing. Why, yes, I am doing fine with my studies. Thank you for asking."
Britanny just rolled her eyes. She knew Stripe liked her, (Britanny). They got along so well. But... There was just something about Ranma talking with Stripe that just rubbed her the wrong way. Noticing Lydia smirking at her she mouthed, "Kiss my spotted ass."
That just caused Lydia's smile to widen. True, Lydia and Britanny were friends. Not the closest, but they got along decently. However, when it came to her family and friends, Lydia was one to stick by her family, even if the member was adopted.
"I've got it!" Gina proclaimed. "You read this from bottom to top and right to left! I am so smart!"
"What's it say?" Lydia asked.
"Using what I know of Egyptian and Babylonian writing, this roughly translates as 'Press button for safe passage to inner tomb'! Ha! Nothing to it!" Gina congratulate herself as she pressed the button...
And caused the area to start rumbling.
"Uh oh..." Gina whimpered.
"WHAT THE @#$% DID YOU DO!?" Lydia screamed.
Noticing something on the wall, Ranma gave the Transdimensional Communicator back to Britanny and walked over to Gina and Lydia. "There seems to be a smudge over here."
Gina wiped the smudge revealing a rather fearsome skull carving. She read the message. "Er... It's, 'DON'T press button for safe passage to inner tomb'... Oops..." Gina whimpered, as the corridor started to collapse around them.
Talking to Stripe quickly, Britanny said, "I gotta go Muffin... Yeah, we're in trouble again, with Gina dragging our lives to most certain doom.
The four women were shocked when walls lifted up from the floor and down from the ceiling, sealing them into the corridor. No problem. They could get out of this easily.
However, when the floor started receding back into the wall to revel lava underneath them. "@%#&!!! WE ARE SO #$%@IN' BONED!!!"
"Oh well..." Britanny muttered. "Being a werecheetah, I possess the strength of a bulldozer. I'll make putty out of these cheap walls!"
*WHAM*!
Gina, Lydia, and Ranma winced. "Not so cheap, huh sis?" "That had to #@$&in' hurt..." "Are you all right, Britanny?"
Britanny just cursed up a storm as she was clutching her hand. Having been around Lydia for over a decade, the girls were more open to swearing like sailors at appropriate times. Like now for instance. "OW! #$%@#*#&@%#%#$^#@$@&^#%#&#%&^#%*@$%#@!!!!!"
Gina blinked her eyes as a thought came to her. "Wait a minute! I've got something that'll get us out of here for sure!"
"Well, why didn't you @#$&ing say so BEFORE I turned my knuckles to oatmeal!?" Britanny growled.
Gina looked through her backpack, as more and more of the floor receded back into the walls, leaving VERY little for our female crew to stand upon. "Not to rush, but could you please, PLEASE hurry?" Ranma asked in a slightly panicked tone.
"Here we go!" Gina said as she placed a small metal square on one of the walls. "This will deliver a focused blast equal to six tons of TNT!"
Standing back a little, (VERY LITTLE, considering most of the floor was gone) Gina let the device blow, creating a HUGE hole in the wall. "Great!" Britanny said as she pushed everyone through, "Now let's get out of heEERRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
Unfortunately, on the other side of the wall was just a large tunnel down, leaving our ladies to free-fall"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Fortunately, there was a serious of what could have been slides.
*THUD*! *THUD*!
There goes Britanny and Ranma landing on one, and they now slide off into a direction.
*THUD*!
And there go Gina, going down another slide all by herself.
*THUD*! "OW, @#%$!"
And that would be Lydia, landing onto a third slide. Oh, I do hope they're all, all right.
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See other episodes by Red Priest of the 17th Order
(Posted Tue, 15 Apr 2003 22:20)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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