"EEEEEK!"
"Pardon me, but I do believe you were trying to arrange an interview?" Kachoo asked of the news reporters.
"H-h-h-how did you?" The newsperson stammered as she tried to get her heartrate back under 100 beats per minute.
"Matter-energy-matter conversion. Simple if you know the trick," said Kachoo. "Excuse me. You, over there. Yes. You might actually want to turn the camera on. Good fellow. Stiff upper lip and all that!"
"Errr, so you're the Great Kachoo?" The newsgirl considered pointing out that she was the WEATHER girl but noticed that both anchors of her newsteam were apparently halfway out the building already.
"Please, simply Kachoo will do for now. Standing on formalities at this stage would be rather pretentious, don't you think?"
"Uh yeah. Those girls were..."
"The Sailor Senshi. I engaged in some research prior to our meeting and discovered that they are one of several groups engaged in fighting supernatural evil and menaces here in Japan. There are similar groups in China, Korea, Taiwan, Great Britain, and a few other locales where such things tend to occur. Once I determined that they were the premiere group of such that was still in operation, I contacted them directly." The Being winked with four eyes at the weathergirl. "You know they've really done a top shelf job too, considering their age. Very nice people from what I gather. Credit to their community they are."
"I thought they were urban myths," said Midori as she wondered if it were too late to faint. She was a trained meteorologist for crying out loud not a exobiologist!
"Much like aliens from another world," said the squid faced being with a twinkle in several eyes. "I'd imagine it depends on your point of view."
"Uhm. So, Mister Alien, errr, Kachoo, why Earth?"
"Your species has so much promise," said Kachoo. "If you could just be helped over your current developmental slump that I'm sure you could truly be one of the up and coming species in this galactic arm! Look at it in terms of your own children developing. Don't they go through rebellious and self-destructive years as they learn their place in the universe. A little assistance and they grow to become responsible adults, do they not?"
"So you regard the human species as rambunctious teenagers?" The weathergirl asked in a halting voice.
"Perhaps a bit younger if I understand your developmental curve. Your technology is not terribly developed and what there is has outpaced your philosophical development. Did you see what I showed the Senshi?"
"Uhm, yes, actually." The perky weathergirl, Midori Sato, shuddered.
"There are far worse scenes," informed the Being, his usual mirth dropping from him briefly, "but as I was trying to show them and your audiences why I think you need new management - I was merely brushing the surface of the subject."
"I see," said Midori before she noticed cue cards were being frantically scribbled out and displayed. "So, Mister Invader, what are your plans for Australia should you win this week's contest?"
"Extending the arable acreage and crop yields seems a viable first move," said the Being. "Perhaps a sky elevator so that you can launch payloads into space with significantly lower funding. You also have some ecosystem and urban development issues I'd like to address. I think that by the end of the week and the contest after this one, I can end your unemployment problems and allow you access to some resources that you didn't even know you had."
"In other words, end hunger, end unemployment, solve environmental pollution, and put the Australians into the forefront of world power?" Midori didn't need the cue cards for the translation.
"Yes. It should make for a productive first week, don't you think?" Kachoo indicated amiably.
"...and you're not here to eat us or something?" Midori wanted clarification on that point right away.
"Heavens no. You shouldn't eat anything capable of rational thought, it's bad karma," said Kachoo. "Did I get that term right?"
"Ah, yeah," said Midori.
Ami let herself into the darkened apartment, quietly easing in. With any luck her mother wasn't home and she...
The lights went on.
"Ami dear," said Kumori Mizuno as her daughter stood blinking and apparently considering potential stories. "How long have you been one of these Sailor Senshi?"
"EEEP!" Ami practically fainted. "He said he masked our features! Wait, I mean..."
Kumori frowned ever so slightly. "Ami. He blurred your features and dropped your voice slightly. It was still fairly obvious to me. I'm your mother dear. " That she also recognized that odd computer that Ami had occasionally pulled out when she thought her mother wasn't watching was not mentioned.
"But I... but we... that is..." Ami was experiencing something she'd only seen others do previously. Brainlock due to panic.
"Dear. Sit down. We're going to have a little chat about this. Besides, you might want to see your opponent being interviewed on the television."
Meanwhile, the Tentacled Being From Another World hadn't (eight lobed brain not withstanding) understood that the human reaction to the events and interview would be:
(Posted Tue, 10 Jun 2003 12:48)
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