[Episode 51255] [Episode 51255]Fade to white.
The morning sun crept across the sky. The light tripped over the window sill, waking the room's occupants.
"Good morning," Rei 'Tendo' greeted her 'fiancee' politely. She 'remembered' how she'd been engaged to the boy after her 'sisters' had rejected him following the 'bathroom incident'. She 'recalled' that she'd agreed to it or, at least, hadn't complained. Those memories weren't hers, but those of the girl she'd replaced, slightly altered to fit her personality, or lack thereof.
"Aheheh, mornin'," replied Ranma, who wasn't as calm and collected about waking up with the girl who'd tried to 'exterminate the intruder' with a rock, because 'it was more efficient' than her bare hands, the day they'd first met. He remembered only the backmasked history.
Rei said nothing and contemplated her fingers with rapture as she tried to figure out what she should do next. Her new memories indicated that they had a somewhat cool romance; a situation which was fine with her except that she knew that she had to make the relationship work.
Ranma echoed her silence as he tried to work out just what was going on. It had to be some scheme of their fathers, because Rei was, to put it politely, a 'cold fish'. There was no way that this was a 'Shampoo' type attempt at seduction.
"Would you like to kiss me?" Rei asked finally.
"Ahuh? What?" Ranma demanded, sure that he'd misheard.
"Would you like to kiss me," Rei repeated. "It is expected of an engaged couple, is it not?"
"Yes," Ranma agreed, then paniced, "I mean, no! That is ... I ... I think you should only kiss someone you really like."
"Then, you do not like me?" Rei observed calmly.
"Wha...? No... that is..."
Rei took the initiative, rose onto her knees and leaned over him. Ranma noticed that her nightgown fell away from her breast as she whispered, "do you wish to kiss me, Ranma? I think it could be very ... pleasant."
Feeling her breathe hotly against his cheeks, Ranma reacted but scrambling out from under her.
"Why don't you wish to kiss me?" wondered Rei as she rexamined her performance for flaws.
"It's not you," Ranma denied and pointed, "it's them!"
"Don't mind us, son," Soun cried from the base of the door and waved a cheer flag. "Go right ahead."
"That's my boy," Genma's sign read while he chowed down on a bucket of popcorn, "make me proud, Ranma."
"Oh, deary me, I don't think this is proper at all," Kasumi wonder from the other side of the door. "I wouldn't have expected Rei to be so forward."
"Yeah," Nabiki agreed from behind her camera. "The Ice Maiden is finally melting. Way to go, l'l sis!"
"Nabiki!" Kasumi gasped and the situation deteriated from there.
Fade to black.
Fade to white.
On an endless field of billowing cloud stood a girl and a dragon.
"What's going on?" Akane demanded fiercely, then with a note of panic, "is... is this heaven?"
"Hardly," the silver dragon replied. "This is the Elemental Plane of Air, or an annex of it, anyway. You are here because you wished that you'd never known Ranma Saotome ..."
"Who?" Akane demanded. "Wait, that's an Indian god, isn't it?"
"No, no that's Rama," the dragon replied in bored tones, as if he'd heard it before. "You wished that you'd never known Ranma, so of course you've forgotten him."
"I forgot a noodle dish?" Akane pondered.
"That's Ramen," the dragon corrected.
"A conga dance rythm?" Akane guessed again.
"That's rhumba, and never mind about that," the dragon sighed. "Now we have to decide what to do with you."
"Why should you do anything with me just because I've forgotten this Ramses person (and isn't that an Egyptian phaero)? He can't have been very nice, so why do I have to be here?"
"Actually, he's a bit of a jerk, but not that bad. He's also a central character so to grant your wish Casting had you replaced with another girl."
"Casting?" Akane demanded incredulously. "Central character?"
"You've heard the phrase 'all the world is a stage and we are but players'? Well, it's not just a phrase. More to the point, your role has been taken by someone more... willing... to fit the part, which leaves us with a placement problem. I have to find a suitable position for you."
"Why not just send me to my 'replacement's' part?" Akane said sarcastically.
"Considering what had happened to her there, I don't think you'd like it at all," the dragon said. "It's not a fate I'd wish on anybody, not even an uncute tomboy like you."
"Who are you calling uncute, you idi... uhm." Akane hastily came up with a new plan... don't insult the collosal dragon. "Sorry, I don't know why I'd say that."
"Force of habit, I expect," the dragon observed cooly. "Let's have a look at the roster. Something's bound to turn up."
"Oh, this sort of thing happens a lot, does it?" Akane retorted.
"More often that you'd think," the dragon replied seriously. "Characters are replaced all the time."
"And nobody notices?"
"No," the dragon responded. "Not really. Ever watched a soap oprah where they change actors mid season? It's sort of like that."
"Well... I've always wanted to be an actress."
"That's the spirit," the dragon approved. "Come along now."
Onwards, and with a new tag, to:
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(Posted Tue, 01 Jul 2003 16:32)
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