Ranma winced as he felt Brianna grip onto his other shoulder tightly with her hand. Either she was so devestated she was losing her balance, or she was very pissed at him. "Probably both." Ranma thought sadly.
Finally, after quite some time of crying, Brianna regained her composure. She seemed intent to just hang on Ranma tightly, practically burying her face into his shoulder. Ranma rubbed along Brianna's spine with a hand. He gently kissed her cheek. "Brianna... I don't know what to say... I'm sorry..."
Finally moving her face away from Ranma's shoulder, Brianna looked Ranma in the eyes. She could see the genuine fear and hurt in his blue orbs. A look that reflected her own feelings. She tightened her hug. "Ranma..." Brianna managed to squeak out.
Tightening the hug back to encourage the confused Lycanthropoid, Ranma asked, "Yes, Brianna?"
"Why did you cheat on me?" Brianna asked. She whimpered lightly. "Am I not good enough for you? What did I do wrong?"
"Brianna, you did nothing wrong." Ranma aswered. He cupped Brianna's chin. "If anything, I'm not good enough for you... Or your sisters."
Hearing that, Brianna held her gaze with Ranma, tears in her eyes. "But why then? Why cheat on me? I thought you said you loved me?"
Ranma sighed. He was never good with words. But seeing that look in Brianna's eyes. She needed... And deserved an explanation for his actions. But he was never good with words. Still, for Brianna, Ranma was going to try.
"Brianna..." Ranma began, trying to think before he spoke so he didn't screw up. "I've only told one other person, Britanny, this..." Sighing, Ranma said, "But as for why I made love to the others... There are kind of two reasons that I can really think of behind my acting. First, I need to admit to you that there is one thing I am actually afraid of more than anything else."
Brianna blinked her eyes in surprise. "You're actually afraid of something?" Brianna asked in genuine shock. Ranma was always the macho-type. To hear him admit to fear was quite a surprise. "What is it?"
"Being alone." Ranma admitted.
"Being alone?" Brianna asked.
Ranma nodded his head. "All my life, I've been the center of attention. While growing up on that training journey with Pops, I was never alone." Ranma sighed. "As I grew up, I never learned how to adjust to being alone."
Brianna just looked at Ranma, her eyes wide with shock. "You're serious?"
Ranma nodded his head. "That fear was what kept me, and still keeps me living in Nerima. As much as things went wrong... When Akane blamed me, called me a pervert... When Ryoga blamed me for everything... When I had people either trying to kill me and/or marry me... The big thing for me was that they were genuinely paying attention to me." Ranma sighed. "I know this sounds odd, but I really felt like I held some importance in their lives..." Ranma looked down at his feet. "I felt like I wasn't just useless."
Brianna and Ranma held each other. Brianna understood Ranma. For the longest while, Brianna had thought of herself as a fifth wheel, like she didn't have a place in the Diggers home. It was one of the reasons why she came up with such outrageous devices. She wanted to stand out, to feel important for once.
Ranma sighed as he held Brianna. He kissed her gently on the cheek. "Thaat is part of the reason why I've come to love the act of having sex as much as I have. I was with someone, as close tomy partner as humanly possible. For even the smallest time, I was their world, and they reciprocated, shared back the love they with me." Ranma was holding back tears. "It made me feel special. I was truly with someone."
Brianna continued to hold Ranma. "I think I understand now Ranma..." Brianna sighed. "And you were with them because you were alone, and felt an actual need to be with someone." Brianna nuzzled her cheek against Ranma's. "I used to be the same way."
"That's not all Brianna." Ranma answered. You see, as I spent time with you girls before all this happened, back then I knew how I felt. "I loved you, Brianna. That was why I spent time working on some of those firearms with you, because you loved them." Ranma sighed. "I loved Britanny, and that is why I spent time shpping with her. And I loved Gina, helped her with science as best I could."
Brianna was looking into Ranma's eyes in surprise. "You love all three of us?"
"Yeah..." Ranma said. "Back then, I wasn't sure how to express it... That is why I loved all these things you three love... Because it was a way for me to love all three of you. There was only so many ways that I could express that. And I realized that if I could love what you, Gina, and Britanny dod, then that's another way for me to express my love for all three of you."
Brianna tightened the hug and sighed. Well, he did love her. But as he admitted ot her, he genuinely cared for, if not loved Gina and Britanny as well. "Ranma... You do genuinely love me at least, don't you?"
"Of course!" Ranma said. He nibbled Brianna's ear. "I said I loved you, and I meant it." He kissed Brianna, and smiled as he felt Brianna kiss back.
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(Posted Mon, 16 Jun 2003 01:13)
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