Ranma was walking back to the Tendo home when he heard someone calling his name.
"Hey, Ranma!" The girl who had said that had a somewhat high-pitched voice and tried to adopt a seductive and sultry tone. In the last aspect, it was a failure.
He stopped and blinked, a little confused "That sounded like... Naaaah, not possible!" He resumed his walk but the voice returned, angrier than before.
"Ranma! Ranma! You jerk! Wait for me!" THAT made him react. There's nothing like insults to grab a Saotome's attention. He turned back on his heels, ready to respond in kind "Look, Aka..." Silence, dead silence. Ranma's eyes widened and his jaw fell on the ground with a loud *THUD!* "Ka... Ka... Ka... Kasumi! KASUMI!?"
Picture Kasumi Tendo in your mind. The gentle, sweet and kind parangon of the japanese housewife. Pure and innocent, always wearing modest and practical clothes, she was a motherly figure and a big sister rolled in one demure and older package.
You see her in one of her housedresses (and a piyo piyo apron), surrounded by shining stars, little cherub angels and floating pink hearts? Well forget that image cause Kasumi Tendo's not like that anymore! (Kasumi fans: "NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!").
Ranma gaped. Kasumi looked like she was only fourteen to fifteen years old, even if her body could give his cursed form a run for her money. Then again, it was highlighted by her choice of clothing: High heels. A really short miniskirt, showing off her legs. A tight blouse with a pretty good cleavage, barely covered by an opened leather jacket. Sunglasses and a smoking cigarette in her mouth completed the 'bad girl' tableau.
And now, dear readers, you can experience a Soun Tendo moment. All you have to do is to have a good cry and shout: "WAAAAHHH! My youngest daughter's a juvenile delinquent! Oh, the humanity!" Once you're finished, those who want to can have a Happosai moment "SWEEETO!!!"
Ranma was still making an impression of a dead carp "Yo, Ranma!" Kasumi's voice broke through his self-imposed mental shutdown. She had walked up to him and caught his arm, rubbing herself against him "Ya know what? I don't have anything ta do this afternoon so we could... Ya know... have FUN, just the two of us... If you get my drift"
Danger, Ranma Saotome, danger! Oh, Ranma got Kasumi's drift perfectly. He could admit that he was a little dense and slow to understand things sometimes but even he wasn't THAT dense. The unpacked condom in her right hand was a pretty good clue too.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaahhh..." When in doubt, use the Saotome Secret Technique or one of its multiple variants. Works every time.
"Pff... Ranma, you're no fun..." That was strange. He had never reacted so badly before. Could it be!? "At last, I'm breaking through his defenses! Hehehehehe... He doesn't see me as a little girl anymore!" She took a 'righteous resolve' pose "Watch out, Ranma Saotome! Kasumi Tendo is coming for you! "
*****
Ranma was running. He didn't care where he was heading as long as he fled this hellish vision of the pure and tidy Kasumi Tendo (The trauma was so great that he was using Kuno words in his mind) turned into a yankee/jailbait combo.
Of course, he had to bump into someone in his panic. Someone definitely female, judging by the pair of airbags who cushioned the impact. Ranma fell back on the pavement, his eyes swirling "This is a nightmare..."
"Ranma? Are you okay?"
The young martial artist stood up in a flash, shaking his head to regain his wits. He realized he had collided with...
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See other episodes by Jamil Nate
(Posted Mon, 23 Jun 2003 22:21)
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