Physically it was Ukyo, but wearing a blue blouse and dress with white thigh-high high-heeled boots, white gloves, a blue choker, and a "Yes I am a French Tart" baseball hat.
"Vive le France!" Crepe Suzette declared.
"Oui! Eet is excellement!" Oulala declared, snapping open a fan and gesturing dramatically with it.
"Eet looks like the ninja boy is now a French Maid," said Bon Bon as she watched the developing Konatsu. "And he is le femme now and not merely le feminine."
"Ahhh, thees ees good!" Oulala said to her two lieutenants.
"OULALA!"
"FREDDY! Stop it with ze 'pump up le volume!'" Oulala demanded of the hologram. "Besides, I am about to show my luscious lieutenants ze personail benefits of being ze French villainess."
"Sorry, how's this? Testing one two three. Okay. I have recruited three of the Tendos and I'm heading to Mount Terror for some training but I thought I'd let you know that the Sailor Senshi are in the area."
"Ze Sailor Tenchi?" Oulala frowned. "Is zat some Japanese rock band like ze Melty Banana?"
"No, actually it's a group of young girl superheroes with energy projection abilities - magical, and a fondness for making silly speeches."
"You are, how do they say, pulling my leg?"
"No, actually I'm serious. Now while normally they would pose little threat to me, they did manage to turn a large number of my low level minions back to normal." Fast Food Freddy frowned. "I've got the three Tendo sisters and a large number of zombies left. Once we have some practice and perfect our weapons and tactics we'll take them out."
"You Amereecains are so ineffectual," said Oulala with evident disdain. "Ze time to strike is now! Not act like leetle sissy boys waiting for permession from your mothers!"
"American, American, American. You keep calling me that. I'M CANADIAN YOU STUPID WENCH! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO..."
Having cut the connection, Oulala sat back. "Now we must do nothing. Vhen Freddy is done he shall take care of zese Sailing Stencils to assuage hees own pride."
Bon Bon and Crepe Suzette politely clapped at their leader's genius. Nor did they correct the name of the enemy.
"I am Konette, ze French Maid Ninja!" declared the transformed Konatsu.
"Ze transformation machine must have ze slight malfunction," observed Oulala. "Still eet gives me ze idea. For our forces of faceless minions, ve shall have ze French Maids. None shall be able to stand against us! You three! Ze manuals are over there. Begin configuring ze French Maid Minion Transformer Cannon. Zey will be low power minions so it should be easy. We test it on the twenty zombies we has gotten from Central. We shall keep ze Mind Control Cream Puffs as a backup!"
"At once, Mamselle!" agreed Bon Bon, Crepe Suzette, and Konette.
Genma and Soun had been sure that these pathetic little cheerleaders were nothing to worry about. They were men! They were trained martial artists! They were big and strong! Little teenage girls with only two martial artists in the batch? Hah!
Nevermind the fact that a guy smaller than Genma's head and a couple of centuries older routinely beat the snot out of them and was their "dread Master."
Just when the two thought the girls would back down and everything would return to normal and they could track down Ranma and browbeat him into submission...
Well, things just went all Murphy on them. Chaos happened. The excrement hit the fan. The light at the end of the tunnel proved to be an oncoming dragon. The tribbles got into the quadrotriticale. The explosive device hit the incinerator. Mihoshi was in the lab. SNAFU.
"SWEET OH!" (GLOMP!) "Tiny titties but tasty and tender!"
Sailor Moon slowly looked down to see some troll-youma was rubbing his face against the top of her sailor fuku. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Oh and this one! SWEET!" (GLOMP! FONDLE! CARESS!)
Sailor Neptune blinked as something completely inelegant happened to her. There was some sort of little monster grabbing and rubbing and fondling and... This was so inelegant that she didn't immediately react due to sheer shock.
Sailor Moon began to panic. The brooch on the front of her fuku was missing?!
"I've died and gone to heaven! Yowza!" (LEAP! GRAB! RUB-A-DUB-DUB!)
Sailor Mars tried to punch the little beast and he merely leapt off and proceeded to land on Sailor Jupiter... Waitaminute. That top in the old lech's hands...
(SQUEEZE, PINCH, RUB) "FABULOUS SIMPLY FABULOUS!" proclaimed the gnome-demon as it leapt from one of the cheerleaders to another, accumulating a full pack of souveneirs somehow as he moved.
"You see Saotome, you were right they are ineffectual little girls," said Soun as he prepared to go back into the house. "We have to make plans on how to get your son to go rescue my daughters."
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(Posted Mon, 23 Jun 2003 12:38)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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