Tatewaki Kuno, having been knocked entirely out of the panel in episode 49303, finally returned to save his fierce tigress from the zombie hordes.
Of course, the zombie hordes had already left though it did appear that something else was going on.
Tatewaki Kuno had some odd standards. Well, admittedly, just about everything about him was odd, but we'll just focus in on his standards for a moment. What did he consider an attractive girl? Did he ever go after Yuka or Sayuri? No. Miyo? Hell no. His own sister? Well, maybe, but let's not go there right now. He focussed almost entirely on women who could kick his little samurai butt on a regular basis. Akane, Ranma's female form, Ukyo, and Miss Hinako. Those he regularly pursued were those he had absolutely no chance with but whose appearance fit a certain value. Specifically - violent girls. Ukyo was not sufficiently violent to hold his interest, and Miss Hinako's draining attacks lacked the value that Kuno sought.
He was, in short, a masochist. He enjoyed being hit by women. It was a turn on.
Had Akane and Ranma ever realized this, it would have placed them in an interesting conundrum.
This all mattered because upon reaching the war zone that was on the Tendo property, he saw her for the first time.
Tidy and feminine but also with a sort of masculine presence. Slender and graceful. Obviously strong and the weapon in her hand was entirely too perfect an indication that they were meant to be.
This was his destiny. It became clear to him that this was why he'd never truly gotten the big lemon scene with his two loves - the pigtailed girl and Akane Tendo. It was because they were merely steps to reach this goddess!
Even the way her almost scandalously short blonde hair whipped in the breeze as she sent an energy blast at the perverted...
He must rescue her!
"This is fabulous! Simply fabulous!" (DODGE, SPIN, PARRY, THRUST)
"Waaaaaaaaa," yelled Sailor Uranus as her sword strike had somehow been parried by an iron smoking pipe and she was now heading skyward with no clear idea of how this had happened.
(GRAB!) "Fear not, fair maiden! I have saved thee!"
"I don't need no... Excuse me. Do you know where your hands are?"
"Do not worry fair maiden, I shall bear you off to mine castle, where your recovery will be swift and..."
Sailor Uranus found a new target. As he didn't seem to be so much evil as a pervert she settled for purely physical attacks.
Happosai bounced along.
"Oak Evolution!" Soun's bedroom attained the past tense.
"Love & Beauty Shock!"
Ranma ran out briefly, caught his backpack before it could hit the street, and started putting out the fire on it.
"Fire Soul! Fire Soul! Fire Soul!"
Happosai glanced back and nearly came to a stop. Which was a pity as a "Submarine Reflection" might have caught him except for the sudden change in vector and velocity. "No... My precious collection! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" Happodaikaren started raining down.
(WHAM! BANG! BOOM!)
Ranma looked at geysering pieces of Tendo home and sighed. "Oh man. I hope Mister Tendo's insurance covered Magical Girls."
"A lot of homeowner policies in Tokyo have the option for covering Monsters and Magical Girls," pointed out Ami.
"Well, this is Nerima, we get a lot more martial arts fights than anything else," said Ranma.
(Crackle ZAAAAP! FWOOM!)
"So," said Ami, twiddling her thumbs. "Maybe we should go somewhere where we can... talk."
"Yeah, I suppose, hey!" Ranma saw the refrigerator arc overhead. "Hang on. Lemmee get you a juice. Stuff's not gonna be any good anyway without the power being plugged in."
(BOOM! Sching! BLAM!)
Ami took the proferred can of juice in the spirit it was given. "Yeah, I think that we..." Ami's voice trailed off as something latched onto her chest.
"Hmmm. Perky. Not particularly big but you'll have to do," Happosai announced as he bounced back into the frey, stuffing a powder-blue bra into his bag.
Ami's mouth opened and closed briefly. Her big moment where she was reunited with her Rannie had just been sidelined.
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(Posted Tue, 24 Jun 2003 12:40)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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