"What? But I'm the Magnificent Sailor Uranus! Monsters everywhere tremble at the barest whisper of my name!" The senshi of the sky declared.
"Well..." Hikaru pushed her index fingers together nervously, "I'm not a monster... I only know about the Sailor Senshi from the manga I read, and I haven't seen you in any of them..."
Haruka visibly deflated.
"Yeah, you can only really make a name for yourself if you fight crime," Minako said sagely as she continued happily driving along, occasionally humming notes from 'Route Venus' and running over the odd Pod Person foolish enough to be walking on a major highway. "The monster fighting might be more exciting and more important to the future of the Earth, but it doesn't make headlines for some reason."
"Right then!" Haruka raised her fist to the sky triumphantly, or at least tried. Setsuna's... well, Minako's, car wasn't that big after all. "As soon as we save the Earth from the Pod People menace, we're going to start beating up international jewel thieves and stuff like that, right Michiru?"
"That's probably a bad idea," Michiru cautioned. "As the Outer Senshi, we are the guardians of the Solar System from outside threats. We might lose the advantage of surprise if everyone knew about us, though."
"Yeah, that's a good point. No one ever seems to expect you guys to show up... speaking of outside threats, what were you doing when Ail and Ann attacked? They were aliens," interjected Minako.
Michiru blushed. "Never you mind. We were doing very important secret Outer Senshi stuff."
"What she said," Haruka nodded. "But yeah, that's right, though. Nobody ever expects the Outer Senshi! Our chief weapon is surprise! And fear!"
"That's two weapons, dear."
"Right you are, Michiru! Our two chief weapons are surprise and fear! And an almost fanatical devotion to Queen Serenity!"
"That's three weapons," said Hikaru.
Haruka furrowed her brow for a moment before trying again. "Our three chief weapons are surprise, fear, and an almost fanatical devotion to Queen Serenity! Not to mention our ruthless 'ends justify the means' attitude!"
"That's fo-our!" Minako sing-songed.
Haruka grimaced and mumbled for a few seconds, then spoke up once more. "Our four chief weapons are surprise, fear, an almost fanatical devotion to Queen Serenity, and a ruthless 'ends justify the means' attitude!"
"What about the Space Sword? And the Silence Glaive?" Michiru asked.
"Uh..." Haruka took a deep breath. "Our six chief weapons are surprise, fear, an almost fanatical devotion to Queen Serenity, a ruthless 'ends justify the means' attitude, the Space Sword, and the Silence Glaive!"
"What about the Time Key? Pluto sometimes hits monsters with it, so I suppose it doubles as a weapon..." Minako wondered aloud.
"Look, never mind! We have lots of weapons, okay! That's just how badass we are," Haruka said huffily before nodding towards Hikaru, "So now you know."
"There, there, Haruka. You shouldn't get worked up like that..." Michiru said soothingly, giving her partner a reassuring back rub.
"S'not fair..." Haruka mumbled. "We're way cooler than the other Senshi, so how come we don't get to appear in manga and video games and stuff..."
"Aw, don't be like that! I've seen a few dojinshi with you guys in it!" Minako offered consolingly.
"Really?!" Haruka perked up instantly. "We're in dojinshi? People notice our contribution towards defending the planet and write exciting stories about our exciting adventures?!" she asked enthusiastically.
Minako shrugged. "Kinda, I guess... a lot of people would think 'Uranus and Neptune: Adventures in Bondage' is pretty exciting."
"Well Uranus sure won't be getting it on with Neptune if she keeps this up..."
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(Posted Tue, 09 Sep 2003 02:37)
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