Elfguest: You know, you're never alone when you're schyzophrenic... [Episode 68220]

by Jamil Nate

Ranma's mindscape...

What had been a pretty desolate place before was now a thriving field of flowers and small cute animals thanks to Sailor Moon's final attack. Ranma's Multiple Personality Disorder had been treated as a case of possession by the Moon power. Slowly but surely, Ranma's personality fragments were coming together to merge into a normal and well-balanced personality. Hopefully, that is... Ranma Saotome was quite the psychological mess, after all.

Several figures stood amidst the grass of the field who could be a Disney movie scenery. They all were part of Ranma's fractured psyche and represented the multiple facets of his being.

There was Ranko, who looked like the female Ranma. She had been born when Ranma had hit his head on a rock of the Tendo Koi pond. Another hit, courtesy of Akane, had buried her back in the recesses of Ranma's subconscious. She was female and proud of it and was also the opposite of Ranma, personality-wise.

Rolling in the grass to her right, playing with the pretty butterflies, was Neko-Ranma, the spiritual embodiment of the Neko-Ken. He was wearing rags of Ranma's usual chinese outfit and had his physical appearance was more bestial than human.

A normal looking male Ranma who was looking lecherously at Ranko's body was also there. He would have glomped her and done more already if he wasn't restrained by heavy chains with written signs saying Virtue is a Quality, Fear of Intimacy, No to Happosai-like Perversity, Must Stay Faithful to Akane, Martial Arts are the Only Outlet of Male Hormones, Hentai Thoughts lead to Pain, Sex equal Marriage on the Spot, etc... Ranma's libido and sex drive were severely repressed, all right.

The next Ranma was left a wide berth by the others. He wore a bloodstained black version of Ranma's trademark chinese clothes. His hair was unbound and his eyes were filled with anger, hate and bloodlust. He was Id Ranma, the primitive killer who lurks under the thin veneer of human 'civilization' in everyone. If he had had his way, Ranma's problems would have been resolved long ago by putting everyone who ever hurt him six feet under.

The fat Ranma with a receding hairline, a dirty white gi and glasses was the proof that the Saotome males really thought with their stomach sometimes. Glutton Ranma also incorporated all the bad habits Genma had passed on his son and the karmic taint of the Anything Goes school.

Last but not least, another normal looking Ranma who was nervously watching the others, the kanji for 'Pride' written on his shirt. His most striking feature was his age, ten to twelve years old at most. He was the dominant personality of Ranma Saotome. The others called him the 'Whiner' (except Id who adressed him as the 'Coward').

"Wha... What's happening? Guys?" The whiner broke the silence. It was obvious he was afraid but trying to cover it in false bravado like always.

"Meow? Miaow!" Neko-Ranma had found catnip and was getting thoroughly stoned out of his mind. Not that he would have been able to contribute much to the discussion anyway "Purrr..."

"Sailor Moon's attack did something to us even if it didn't hurt... I feel some kind of pull, don't you?" Ranko pointed to the top of a hill where a shadowy shape was taking form. Everybody noted that it was progressively clearing into a new Ranma.

"Hotcha! She and her friends had nice legs! And those uniforms left darn little to the imagination... Maybe we could be their sidekick? The tall one and the blonde with a red bow seemed receptive to the idea"

Id glared at Ecchi Ranma "Shut up, pervert... We have more serious problems to deal with. As if we hadn't enough" His glare intensified and switched targets to the one he called the coward "The former mistress of the elves we saved sent that monster after us. Others will come, I'd bet on it"

"So what? Let them come... We'll be rid of them and Akane will be happy" The Genma-like Ranma said between bites and drinks.

"You disgust me... If it wasn't for the fact that coward here is in command, I'd have butchered the bastard you're modelled after" Id snorted then smiled nastily "Thankfully, whatever is attracting us to the hill is erasing you as we speak" And he was right, glutton Ranma was steadily fading. He was too busy pigging out with his food to notice.

Ranko spoke next "We're merging into one personality. That's the only logical explanation that comes to mind"

"Always the smart one, eh, Ranko-chan? Mom and Pops make it so that intelligence is unmanly" remarked Ecchi Ranma "That's great! I feel those restraints weakening in the process! Just you wait, my dark elven beauties... The Wild horse rides again!!!" Indeed, he struggled in his chains and many links were slowly breaking apart.

Id's blood red battle aura flared to life "Yeeees... No more Mister Nice Guy from now on. I have plenty of lethal and crippling moves to test out"

"You can't do that! Killing is wrong and it's not honorable! We learned them only o know how to counter them. And we promised to not use the forbidden techniques ever again"

"Tell that to someone who cares, coward. You think those drows will pack up and leave if you just give them a beating? Get real! This is WAR!!! Maybe you think that the girls will be proud of your 'honorable' behaviour when they're bound to the altar of that spider goddess, ready to have their hearts tore from their chests, but I certainly don't..."

The whiner/coward cringed "It won't be that bad, right? Hey, I beat Saffron, a phoenix god! I can handle some black elves and lame monsters any time of the day!"

"Sorry to burst your bubble but that was ME who beat Saffron in the end, not you. You don't have what it takes to kill your enemies!"

Ranko shook her head and sighed "It doesn't matter. We will soon be submerged in the new Ranma personality. All I hope is that it comes out as much balanced as is possible" She didn't want to know what would happen if Id or Neko become the new dominant trait of the 'new' Ranma. Well, at least, glutton was out of the race, thank the kami.

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(Posted Tue, 30 Sep 2003 19:22)


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