Statue of Miao Nyan Mew : Cutting the SEELEs [Episode 72809]

by Kestral

It had all started off innocently enough.
Well, mostly innocently.

A certain wizard at a certain Spells R Us store had decided to look into what the future held and saw red goo. For whatever reason, the entire idea of being reduced to the consistency of that thin burger-joint catsup (or ketchup if you prefer) and having his individuality deleted so he could be part of a screaming insane mass mind just didn't seem to quite fit his future plans. Perhaps he wasn't politically correct.

The SRU Wizard gave Shinji Ikari a statuette sacred to Bast, the Statuette Of Miao Nyan Mew. Those scratched by it became catgirls of the class depicted by the statue at the moment of "infection."

The conversions (in order that they took place) were:

Name of
Catgirl Convert
Class Current
Level
Ritsuko Akagi White Mage 12
Maya Ibuki Warrior 12
Rei Ayanami (II) Catburglar 12
Rei Hakubi Gadgeteer 14
Rei-ojou Lasher 7
Rei Bunninami Bunnygirl 9
Rei Himura (Aoyama) Samurai 7
Rei Hino Miko 7
Rei Ichinohei Ninja 12
Rei Bond Superspy 10
Rei Kirby Gun Kitty 5
Rei Light Angel 7
Rei Tsukino Magical Girl 7
Rei Saotome Martial Artist 7
Rei Nightingale Nurse 7
Rei XIV Pilot 7
Reibits Persocom 10
Rei Nuku Nuku Natsume Battle Angel 8
Rei "Wondergirl" Prince Superhero 7
Rei Maehara Schoolgirl 7
Rei Amuro New Type 7
Rei Kisaragi Android 5
Misato Croft(Katsuragi) Archaeologist 7
Asuka Lulu Langley Black Mage 7
Hikari Horaki Chef 7
Lillith Schoolgirl ???
Yukari Shinoi Air Elementist 4
Hae-Jung Paek Dragoon/Lancer 4
Alicia Handa Vigilante 4
Maki Tsudaka Nonclassed -
Officer Keiko Chiba Nonclassed -
Officer Yuki Akamatsu Nonclassed -
Many others not named

Reibits, working with Rei Hakubi and Ritsuko Akagi have upgraded and recruited the Three Magi with the aid of the Three Laws Of Robotics. The Three Magi and Reibits have gone on to take control of a number of hidden Magi style supercomputers belonging to SEELE and have co-opted them to run a Virtual Reality MMORG game and hooked it up to the JOBS system. This has just gone into full operation and is now altering people who generate a character into becoming that character. More or less.

Cats have begun appearing all throughout NERV HQ, the Geofront, and around Commander Ikari's quarters.

Various artifacts of Bastet have begun manifesting magical auras due to the increased presence/power of Bastet as things develop.

Yrena, an agent of NERV Section 2, is attempting to kill Rei Bunninohei. Unfortunately this is beginning to resemble Chief Inspector Dreyfus versus Inspector Clouseau, up to and including facial twitches.

Bastet's city of Bubastis has risen from the sands in Egypt, other deities are getting involved with mixed success, and the world is moving towards a less gooey but certainly furrier future.

Kaji has been sent back to NERV Germany, thoroughly confused.

Captain Spaulding has been revealed to be a UN spy and has gotten enough evidence that his plane is practically leaving skidmarks as he races to the General Assembly.

The various Rei clones have discovered a ryokan with hot springs they can congregate at.

Kaoru Nagisa is on a plane for the Nile Delta.

Rei-ojou has decided that Makoto needs to be recruited.

Shinji has just realized that the erotic dream he'd had of having lots and lots of sex with lots of catgirls, was not a dream.


The floating pillars marked with a numeral and the legend "Sound Only" floated there.

"Things are moving," said SEELE 04.

"This was not in the Dead Sea Scrolls," seconded SEELE 02. "This isn't in anything!"

"Calm yourself," said SEELE 05. "We will find the missed variable and make corrections."

"Calm myself?! Calm myself?!" SEELE 02 spluttered. "Listen you stupid git! There are bloody catgirls running around London! There are foxgirls in France! I had to dodge elf ninja on the way down to the corner grocer! We are in serious jeapordy!"

SEELE 05 harrumphed. "SEELE 02, you exaggerate. Oh. Just a moment. I told you not to disturb me while I'm in here. I... OH MY GAWD! NO! NO! NOOOO! AHHHHHHHH!"

"SEELE 05?" Keele stuck up his head. "SEELE 05! Report!"

"Mi mi mi mi, meow! Testing, 1-2-3!" SEELE 05 said in a little girl's voice. "Hit it girls."

Low ominous music began playing.

"I know I said I love you,
I know you know it's true,
I've got to put the phone down,
and do what we got to do.

One's standing in the aisleway,
Two more at the door,
We've got to get inside there,
Before they kill some more.

Time is running out.
Let's Roll."

Keele cut the connection. "Everyone check your security. Don't let anyone in."

"Too late!" tittered SEELE 02 in a feminine voice. "No one expects elven ninja!"

Keele stared around the table as one after the other of the floating monoliths went off. He didn't know how many had cut the connection to check their own security. It was a good thing his own security was foolproof.

ping came the distant sound of a metal screw hitting the floor.

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(Posted Wed, 22 Oct 2003 13:51)


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