Genma's reaction - predictable. "Stupid boy! Where are you when your fiancee's been kidnapped?!"
"I'm right here," came an eerie chorus from an increased number of fiancees.
"Hi ho, I noticed some nutjob leaving with a small helicopter and some damsel in distress," said a new face. "You want me to blow it out of the sky?"
"And you are?" Nabiki asked, trying to regain her composure.
"Captain Misato Katsuragi, Japanese Self Defense Force, pleased ta meetcha!"
"Might one guess that you're engaged to Ranma Saotome?" Nabiki asked.
"Yup. His grandfather and my grandfather decided, so I wanted to come by and get acquainted. Did I miss something?" Misato asked.
"Okay, we've got a Germanic valkyrie related to a police chief, the child of a snow woman, his college bound buddy from ten years ago, and a Captain in the Self Defense Force," added up Kasumi. "Am I missing anyone?"
"At this rate we'll find half of Japan was engaged to Ranma at one time or another," said Nabiki. "Who is going to rescue Akane now?"
"Ranma will!" Soun thundered.
"Except that you sold the Saotome-Tendo engagement to pay bills, remember, Daddy? There *is* no more 'schools must be joined'," pointed out Nabiki. "Next."
"What about that nice Ryoga?" suggested Kasumi.
"That'd work great," admitted Nabiki. "Except that Ryoga is the same guy who once got lost in Furinkan and then used the Breaking Point to make a tunnel from one end of the school to the other because he couldn't find the doors. It took them a week to fix the girl's showers from being a throughway."
"Oh dear, he does get lost fairly easily, doesn't he?" Kasumi fretted.
"What about that Kuno boy?" Soun suggested.
"I wouldn't count on him for anything. The only way he'd get there before the ceremony is if you told him he could marry Akane," said Nabiki, trying to figure out who could pull off a credible rescue attempt.
"That's it!" Genma and Soun shouted.
"What's it?" Maya asked.
"We'll tell this Kuno boy that whoever rescues Akane gets to marry her," said Soun excited.
"We'll even bring along a priest and the rings," said an equally excited Genma.
"Then when Ranma finds out, he'll get jealous!" exclaimed Soun.
"Then when he rescues Akane, we'll spring our surprise!" exclaimed Genma.
"And the two houses will be joined!" chorused Soun and Genma.
Several pairs of eyes went to Nabiki.
Nabiki considered, then nodded. "Yeah, they pull this sort of thing all the time. It never works though."
"It's Soun's - "
"and Genma's -"
"Operation Switch Hitch!"
Nabiki got up. "I'm going to my room to finish my homework and go to bed. If sanity shows up at some point, you can page me."
"You have a pager, Nabiki?" Kasumi asked.
Nabiki rolled her eyes, hung her head, and trudged towards the stairs. "Adopted. I must have been adopted. It's the only explanation..."
"So, does that mean you don't want to shoot down that guy's helicopter?" asked Misato, wondering if she'd missed something important in the briefing.
"AAHHHHHHHHHH!" said Akane, dangling from below a helicopter as the ground dwindled in the far distance.
"Give up and marry me, and I'll reel you in, my little tomato blossom!"
Akane snarled and twisted and... realized her skirt had just blown up around her. Exposing her legs and panties to all of Tokyo at this altitude. "AAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Ah, my little peach pit, she is a shy one, no? Wait till we get back to my hidden fortress. A little wine, a little bread, and you?"
"AHHHHHHHH!" said Akane as she realized a newscopter was getting closer.
"So, Ranma, you're really into the martial arts? What style do you practice?" asked Asuka.
"Anything Goes Style of Indiscriminate Grappling," replied Ranma.
"Sounds kinda kinky," said Asuka. "What is it, a four thousand year old martial arts style with a glorious history of battles and deeds behind it? Founded by a deity of war and passed on through the ages with a long and honorable tradition?"
"Uhm, no," said Ranma, picturing Happosai. "Not quite."
"One of those philosophy based styles like aikido, where Sun Tzu and Buddhist philosophies meld together?" Asuka tried.
"Uhm, not really..." said Ranma.
"Something like the 'Cotton Fist' where no trick is too dirty if it works and has been linked to assassin groups and professional thieves?" Asuka tried again.
Again thinking of Happosai, Ranma winced. "Well, actually, yeah."
"Oh," said Asuka, wondering why exactly helping this guy out would be something a deity would worry about. "You don't do that sort of thing, do you?"
"NO! Nononononono," exclaimed Ranma, shaking his head rapidly.
"Oh! So you're trying to redeem your martial arts style from the villains who founded it!" Asuka thought that might be it. Young boy brought up into a life of villainry who turns on his former masters to walk in the light of justice. She could distinctly remember a couple of kung fu movies with similar plots.
Ranma thought of the times he'd stopped Happosai. "Yeah! That's it! Redeem the school!"
Asuka nodded. Yup. She had a handle on it now.
Meanwhile:
(Posted Thu, 16 Oct 2003 12:53)
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